by exwitless 107 Replies latest social humour
Greetings Gracious Grammarians,
A dear former client - a "Mrs. Malaprop"-type - told me that her minister father had died of apostate cancer. Honest!
Ingrid Bergman, in her autobiography, states that she never felt comfortable in languages other than her native Swedish. Though she was impressively fluent in other languages, she had some French-speaking group rolling in the aisles when she referred to the CHAMPIONS of a tennis match as CHAMPIGNONS [mushrooms].
CoCo Champi[gn]on
Dear and Gentle Readers,
Take good care of your eyes!
Oculist: medical doctor who examines and treats the eye
Ophthalmologist: medical doctor [synonymous with the above] skilled in ophthalmology - the science that deals with all aspects of the eye
Optician: a maker of prescription eye glasses, as well as, perhaps, a seller of glasses
Optometrist: one skilled in testing of the eyes, who uses appropriate instruments to detect vision defects
CoCo
i hate when people answer "good" when asked how they're doing. the proper response (if you're being polite) is "well".
also, weary/wary. weary = tired. wary = cautious.
More Homonyms:
Tot: a small child
Taut: tightly drawn; not slack
Taught: past tense of TEACH
"Thomas taught the tot to tie twine taut[ly]."
Pulitzer prize: annual prize[s] established through the will of Joseph Pulitzer
Pullet Surprise: a fowl dish that will amaze you!
CoCo
On the way home the other night I was listening to the radio and the DJ was describing a traffic jam and how folks were stuck in their cars. He said everyone was probably using their asymetric's; I wondered what he was trying to say, was this a new way to figure out how to get home quicker? I figured it out when he tied it to a New Year resolution to get in shape; he meant isometric exercises! He had no idea he'd misspoken.
Something which is not understood:
Mysterious: unknown and puzzling; curiosity is aroused
Inscrutable: cannot be investigated or searched into
Mystical: has secret meaning
Obscure: understood with difficulty, or dimly
Compound-Complex
I cringe when I see kids using calculators to do regular math problems (the school encourages this!), including multiplying double and triple digit figures or doing long division. They won't know how to perform these skills without some kind of machine to help them.
What hurts is to go into a fast food restaurant or chain store, and see kids using these cash registers that calculate the change for them. I'll bet most of them can't make change for a dollar without them.
They aren't learning these skills anymore.
Hubert
It doesn't really bother me when people say things wrong unless of course it's constant and you can't read what they've written because of all the errors. But having said that, my best friend is really anal about grammar so if I'm having a bad day or something bad happens, I'll call and say, "I really need to be holded". He corrects me everytime and says, "it's held, you need to be held" and I say "yeah I do". Then he'll sigh and say, "holded is not a word". ;)
