by elinor 60 Replies latest jw experiences
Welcome
I used to see the arrogance of the GB as we studied the Daniel and the revelation book and how they applied to themselves every single prophecies but i still beleived that a was the only true religion.
Until i came across the true history of the Watchtower and their failed prophecy and their involvement in the UN
and on and on and on.
The internet was the life saver
Welcome, elinor. You have a fine way of expressing yourself. I look forward to your future posts.
Then came the infamous Daniel book. I remember around that time I was praying to Jehovah alot to somehow show me this was actually the truth. Well...when we studied chapter 17 and came to the prophecy about the 1,260 days and it was applied to Rutherford's imprisonment, I wanted to throw the book across the room
I felt the exact same way during the Korah drama from the 2001 district convention. That was the moment when the dam broke, when I realized just how stupidly surreal it all was.
The feeling is, "omg...they're not kidding. Somewhere in their boundless and deluded vanity they really believe that all these ancient Hebrew writings apply to them. And worse yet, all of these people around me are just nodding in agreement and clapping and thinking how wonderful it is to be in Jerhover's Organization™. GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!"
Elinor, your story really touched me in so many ways, as I came into the "Truth" in an extremely strict congregation in the early 70's. The congo was in my mother's hometown in upstate NY, and was extremely critical and controlling of every aspect of it's member's lives. I guess that is part of the small town atmosphere, with an extremely isolated population, and I was also extra isolated from that in that my father was an extremely violent alcoholic. I had NO chance of even a semblance of a normal life, because of the poverty our family experienced. I grew up as a loner, and have found it a struggle to become "socially adept". I know that growing up under the control of the JW's organization certainly intensified this "social outcast" persona. But, I am happy to say that I consider myself an extremly content, joyful person today. This forum has helped me work through many emotional and mental issues I had, and I strongly encourage you to participate as your comfort level grows.
Hugs and welcome,
Terri
I still am a little mystified how the society got away with telling everyone that it was a misinterpretation on their part (the congregations, not the governing body).
***
w76 7/15p.441ASolidBasisforConfidence***15
But it is not advisable for us to set our sights on a certain date, neglecting everyday things we would ordinarily care for as Christians, such as things that we and our families really need. We may be forgetting that, when the "day" comes, it will not change the principle that Christians must at all times take care of all their responsibilities. If anyone has been disappointed through not following this line of thought, he should now concentrate on adjusting his viewpoint, seeing that it was not the word of God that failed or deceived him and brought disappointment, but that his own understanding was based on wrong premises.
16
However, say that you are one who counted heavily on a date, and, commendably, set your attention more strictly on the urgency of the times and the need of the people to hear. And say you now, temporarily, feel somewhat disappointed; are you really the loser? Are you really hurt? We believe you can say that you have gained and profited by taking this conscientious course. Also, you have been enabled to get a really mature, more reasonable viewpoint
Thanks again everyone for your very warm welcome. I have had little rest since searching through the content of this website and the other recommended ones. How is this possible that I did not know this was going on?
Even though the guilt has weighed heavily on me for doing so, I ordered Crisis of Conscience. Of course I'm having it delivered to my job, and there it will stay. Did anyone else feel like running into the street and screaming out their frustration?!!! I have been deceived on so many levels and then told that these things were for my own protection.
I sit here and wonder, why was I shown these things? Why me? It feels like scales have fallen from my eyes and I see them for what they are. It's excruciatingly painful and I feel a terrible sense of loss. From reading your stories I know these feelings fade, but at what price? I am so angry how can I contain it long enough to slip away quietly? They don't deserve our silence, it feels like I'm condoning their actions by keeping silent.
They certainly were not silent when I was forced to leave my ex-husband (still a brother and in good standing) who did not mind shaking me a little before the meetings, or even trying to break my back once before a district convention. Oh no, then it was "You know, Jehovah finds it admirable for sisters to stay with mates who even are physically violent because he hates a divorcing". Yuck, now I just want to throttle those brothers and then myself for just sitting there and taking it.
But it's mostly the LIES! They have turned out to be like the pharisees, white washed graves full of bones and uncleanness, righteous on the outside but full of hypocrisy and wickedness. I heard that scripture from Matthew 23:27 and 28 for years applied to 'false religion'. My, how the tables have turned.
I am thrilled for you, Elinor. I was at your point just at the beginning of 2006 and still ignorant of much until the summer.
How is this possible that I did not know this was going on?
They told you to avoid the dangers of the internet and apostates and anything negative of their WTS cult.
I ordered Crisis of Conscience. Of course I'm having it delivered to my job, and there it will stay.
Very similar. I have a faithful JW wife, faithful to me and WTS, I hope to change the latter, but I gotta watch out
what she sees me reading.
It feels like scales have fallen from my eyes and I see them for what they are. It's excruciatingly painful and I feel a terrible sense of loss. From reading your stories I know these feelings fade, but at what price? I am so angry how can I contain it long enough to slip away quietly? They don't deserve our silence, it feels like I'm condoning their actions by keeping silent.
Your comments above reflect mine. I am boiling at WTS. Other posters know that I almost always throw in CULT comments.
I hate that I am prepared to battle their doctrine, but they would never listen. I must go on in silence for the
sake of family members. Welcome to that club.
Great post Elinor,
I too was raised in the "truth". I missed out on allot of things. Like playing sports in school, going to dances, and hanging out with friends. I totally missed out on a normal childhood. I'm so happy I got out of that messed up religion.
I too remember sitting at the book study reading the Revelation book and think how in the world can they apply biblical prophecies mades over 2000 years ago to a small group of men living in New York. They are totally mental. If you read some of the old quotes from the Watchtower and Awake you can see real quickly that the Society is not even close to having God's direction. They continually contradict themselves and spew totally false information. One of the statements they made in the Watchtower that really bothered was how if a woman didn't scream while being raped that she could be disfellowedshipped for fornication. Only a nut would say such a ignorant thing.
I hope your journey of enlightenment will be a fruitful one. It might be a rough ride but once you learn the truth about the "truth" there is no going back.
Good Luck and don't forget that we are here for you whenever you need encouragement.
Elinor wrote: I still feel as though something terrible will happen to me for finally acknowledging what began to nag at me over ten years ago.
Actually, something wonderfully amazing will happen to you.
I remember that feeling when I registered here 2 years ago. I dared my self to join the site and dared myself again to read and learn. I dared to accept the consequences reap the rewards that come with listening to my gut.
Welcome to JWD! It really is a great place.
-Aude Sapere (Meaning: Dare to Know; Dare to Have Widsom/Understanding; Dare to Think for Yourself)
Its so nice to have you on the board, Elinor. Reading your post I understand completely the feelings you were describing, having been brought up with the same distorted doctrines. Like you I am just glad I saw the light when I did.
