Welcome! Excellent job with the recording. I am amazed that not only did you keep your cool in the face of the elders (wolves in sheep's clothing); you brought your friend and cleverly disguised him as a witness, without being a Jehovah Witness! Genius!
I thought it was particularly strange when the elders asked several times if you were recording this, then asked if you had a second recorder after you gave up the first one!
I'm not a witness and I'm not too familiar with how the elders work, but I do know a scared bunch of cowards when I see them. You would think representatives of God would be happy to show the world how "loving" they are.
I just had to comment on some of this:
Jonathan: Uh... yeah, I have a tape recorder, yeah. Umm...Now, why exactly is that—that I can't record this?
New Guy: Well it's the policy of the Watchtower Society.
Jonathan: Okay what's—is there a biblical basis for that?
New Guy: I don't believe they had recorders back then. *chuckles*
Yeah, keep laughing moron. You didn't expect him to ask why, did you? What's the matter? Didn't you know that the "policy" of the Watchtower Society is absolutely meaningless to those who are not brainwashed?
Joseph: *cough* Jehovah God, we come before you now to give thanks for allowing us to... be part of your organization. To... use the bible and uh... adjust our thinking. And to help our... our members... in doing the same thing. So that... uh... we can all reach the same goal. We ask that you would be with us now to have a... mild spirit. And to be able to... uh... speak freely. I'd like to give this prayer to you now in Jesus Christ's name.
You see what not going to college will do to your grammar? I have the distinct impression of a puppet whose strings are attached to an oligarchial marionette. This "elder's" mal-adjusted, anti-social tendencies are the product of his severely deformed pituituary gland caused by a totalitarian dictatorship with a crude over-simplification of Social Darwinism. And if he, or any other witless elders are reading this, they have no idea what I just said.
Jonathan: What is the faithful and discrete slave?
New Guy: See, you're asking the question. And what you want to do is try to convince us of what--
Jonathan: No, I'm not trying to convince you. I'm asking a question... because, as an elder... I have these questions and it would assist me greatly if you could answer them for me.
New Guy: The answer that I gave already is [Indecipherable]--the governing body.
Jonathan: Okay, so the faithful and discrete slave is the governing body.
New Guy: One hundred and forty four thousand, those that are left here on the Earth, the governing body is part of that. That is correct.
Jonathan: So you'd say the governing body then represents... the faithful and discrete slave.
New Guy: That's true.
Jonathan: Okay, so where's the governing body then in--in the scriptures?
New Guy: Same place as uh... were here... John and all of them were in Jerusalem. That's where Paul went to visit them...
This is like reading a script of Celebrity Jeopardy from Saturday Night Live. Now all we need is Will Ferrell, a fake mustache, and a plastic blow-up doll of Alex Trebec.
Russell: Our—our purpose in being here is—is not to debate these things, but to find out... if... whether you agree or disagree with what you've been taught from infancy...
Jonathan: Well it's—it's not stimulating debate. It's—it's... I find questions with questions, um... it actually allows us to... argue. And argument is where two people—two parties... come to a common conclusion. Umm... and so therefore... I-I can't be sure... You say I've been taught from infancy. But a person isn't sentient until they're three years old. Um...
New Guy: No, well what we need to do is stop it here.
New Guy: If—if you do not believe... that the anointed... on the Earth today... are directed by the governing body today...
New Guy: ...then we have no more discussion.
Sorry Johnathan, but when you said that human beings only become sentient when they reach age three, you were probably assuming that the elders had more intelligence than a three year old.
Russell: No! I wouldn't look at postings...
That's ok. It involves critical analysis, independent thought, and cognitive dissonance, not to mention the ability to read, all of which are beyond your puny grasp.
John: Um... Why can't you answer his questions?
New Guy: Because we know his thoughts. We know—
Jonathan: You know my thoughts! You're psychic!
New Guy: Pardon?
John: How do you know his thoughts?
Jonathan: Yeah, how do you know my thoughts?
John: I was just talking to...
New Guy: I read your thoughts.
Jonathan: Oh... okay.
Ah, a true mind reader. Do me a favor, the next time you talk to Miss Cleo, please tell her I'd like a refund. She told me I would become either a computational fluid dynamics engineer, or a Las Vegas showgirl, and so far, I have misplaced my feather boa. By the way, she asked me for information on local religious fanatics with large pocket books and a penchant for severe superstition. I hope you don't mind, I listed the Kingdom Hall as a reference.
Russell: Well I—I'm out of words. I only have so many words per day, and I've used 'em up. So have a great evening.
Careful now, I know it must be hard with all that independent thinking. Sounds like you need to have your puppet strings reattached. In any case, my dear elders, you can congratulate yourselves for the glowing example you have made for God's Organization today, and I'm sure you will rejoice in knowing that you showed the world the real truth about the "truth."