Why am I paralyzed with fear? (page 3)

codeblue

(((Brandon)))

Please take care of yourself....(listen to Big Tex)

You are worth a lot.........and will get a GREAT job!!!

Codeblue

Sunspot

But it feels more normal to be disappointed with myself than it does to be pleased with myself, even though that makes no sense whatsoever.

(((((Brandon)))))

I have lived with this feeling since early childhhod, having an alcoholic demanding Irish father who put on his business suit and ran a company every day,and very cold mother who was into "works of charity" in front of the neighbors. THEN I fell into the "loving" arms of the WTS! So I am well aware of this state of mind and LIVING with it. I NEVER felt I measured up and was never given any encouragement until I left the WTS and my parents disowned me!

I can't offer any more or different advice than what has been posted here...but just want to let you know I CARE and I UNDERSTAND.

hugs always,

Annie

TheHypnoToad

If you want to talk, call me anytime. I will listen, and if you want encouragment I will give it a try. If you want advice I will try too.

parakeet

"Despite being able to rationally analyze all of this, and tell myself that I am worried about nothing, and that I will be able to find work without any problem, and that I can make friends...I remain paralyzed with fear. What IS that? And why do I have it?"

From your numerous intelligent posts on this site, it's obvious you're a smart, personable guy. Yes, I know it's very different communicating through writing on a forum than face-to-face, but my point is that you have it in you. You said you're afraid you'll fail. Well, I can tell you that you WILL fail many, many times. We all fail. I've lost count of the times I've fallen flat on my face (sometimes literally) when I'm attempting something different. Try to accept failure for what it is -- necessary stepping stones on the way to achievement. I'm basically a very fearful person (don't get me started on my phobias!) but after a while, I just get bored with being afraid, and begin whatever it is I want to do. The advice from the others on this thread to see a therapist may help you get started. Good luck.

MsMcDucket

Brandon, if it helps any, I understand. I live with it everyday.

jwfacts

Fear often comes from being concerned of loosing something, material or spiritual. Putting our lives in perspective can help. I think that a lot of the wise sages from all religions discuss this. Much of what Jesus said covers this, such as the sermon on the Mount. Off the top of my head, things such as;

Be content with sustenance and covering
He who looses the world will gain it
Fear not those that kill the body but can not kill the soul
Why be anxious over tomorrow...
Store your treasures in heaven where moth and rust can not consume

I remember seeing two children living in a box on Ipenema Beach in Rio Brazil. They were so happy looking. They had nothing, yet they had everything. What is the worst that can happen, you can loose everything, but you still will have your life. Loose you life and you still can have everlasting life.

Once you adopt that attitude fear can leave. Then the opposite can happen. All great sages also discuss the power of positive thinking. If you dream it it can happen. Once you overcome fear it is easier to be positive, and when positive great things will happen.

skyking

Nothing we say can really help you, but many of us have been down the same road. My dad finally went and got help, he said it was the best thing he could have ever done. Dad was admitted to the mental hospital after he was DF'd because he could not handle the fact they DF'd him for telling others about the UN NGO deal. I had one session with his shrink, just that one session time helped me realize anyone one of us needs someone to talk too at times. Nothing shameful in talking too others that know how you feel and are in the same boat.

kls

((((((( Hugs)))))) Auld and there are so many people here that truly do care.

Keeping you in my thoughts

outoftheorg

Yeah Old traumatized Soul.

You got some good advice from some caring people here. Something that not everyone would be able to get. Something you are not used to? Does that mean that they or you are special only if they never have failures? No all of us have failures and most are special? Or are all of us special?

If we want to be more than special, ie Perfect, we will always fail to meet our expectations and of those "others".

It seems that those who do not even come close to special, demand that other people meet what is impossible.

To please their version of a God or to meet their requirements, that they can not meet, as they continue to belittle us for not meeting THEIR goals they do not even try to meet.

Followed by the constant threats of death at the hand of a maniacal God formed in their delusional minds.

I think that we that have lived similar lives, do need to see a psychologist. Without feeling any guilt or feeling we are failures.

Outoftheorg

XU

It's interesting that you are afraid to disappoint yourself. I totally abandoned my "self" around the age of 11 because it was not doing what it "should" have been doing. After many years of being terrified of failure and letting people get close and trying new things, I realized I needed to be so much kinder to myself. Now I might disappoint myself, but I am never so harsh with myself that I cause myself fear. Being rational and logical and being able to articulate everything is not going to be enough. You have to sit yourself down and be able to face yourself and tell yourself you will always be on your own side and that you will never abandon yourself again, no matter the stakes. If this sounds totally corny and lame, then I think you don't know how to treat yourself right. Be your own best friend. You have no doubt been abandoned by other people and yourself in order to fit in and get love. You have love within yourself. You deserve that love. Sometimes you have to picture yourself as like a kid you know and treat yourself how you think that kid should be treated. And see a counselor. They are awesome because unlike regular people or witnesses, they won't look at you like they don't get you or want to get you. They are there to help. And just think, if you see them, it will give them more skills to help others like you. Or you can seek out one that has skills with people like us.

Why am I paralyzed with fear?

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