How many 'real" friends did you ever really have in ther "truth' (page 8)

None.
I was always considered "bad association" even though the other teens were the ones doing everything that I was being accused of doing. Nobody believed that I was "good" including my parents. I was grounded. A lot. ;D

Dams

mcsemike

I guess I'd have to say one. The brother who fixes my computers for me. He was DF'd and I still spoke to him all those years because I was already "out" of the WT in my heart due to their child abuse policy. He knew I shouldn't talk to him but he needed a friend and the WT doesn't tell me what to do. He's reinstated now and I'm on reproof and always tell him about this site and the things I learned on Silent Lambs. He's the only JW who ever listened month after month about this info.

However, I thought my wife was my friend. But after I told her what I learned, she left me. I think it was for "spiritual endangerment". I asked her to show me the verse in the Bible allowing that and she couldn't. I told her it was a WT teaching, but she wouldn't admit it. I told her that her behavior stumble me out and she pulled that "for those who love.....blah blah, crap". I asked about the verse if the husband is agreeable to dwelling....she said it didn't appy because I already "knew" the truth, having been a book study conductor for years. I asked her where the verse said that it mattered or not if the husband "knew" the truth. She said "we're not going to even go there". So I told her one place she WOULD go would be divorce court. I told her I married her because I loved her and thought that's why she married me. I didn't marry her because she was the last or only available "JW" left in that area or K. Hall. If she had left the WT, I wouldn't have left her. None of this made a dent in her thinking. She finished up by saying that "Jehovah would remove those bad elders I was complaining about in his due time, but she was going to serve Jehovah forever". I remarked that her comment was the most illogical thing I'd ever heard. She hung up the phone.

Whatever happened to "loyal friends"? I guess it's still "brother first, husband second". And also "WT first, Bible second", isn't it? It makes you wonder what kind of intimacy a couple shares when one can leave the other because he discovered the family had been lied to and betrayed, resulting in the rape of their daughter. What kind of mother defends an organization that allows thousands of children to be molested each year? What kind of wife leaves her husband of over 25 years because he can't stand to associate any longer with such perverts as the JW's? I think the fact that the local elders condone this and secretly gloat that "we fixed his wagon, he's not so tough now against the WT now that it cost him his wife and daughter emboldens them to continue to do so with one victim after another. But I'm going to wait and see how tough they think THEY are when their names, faces, addesses, etc. are posted on the Internet and the news media does stories on all of them when this breaks and some of us go public.

Remember, WT spies, there are more of us than there are of you who are willing to fight this war. And we have access to more money and media. You cannot win. I warn you again, you WILL pay for what you have done and are doing. If god doesn't take care of you, I WILL.

Anitar

I was never a witness, but I had some friends who didn't know my mom is a witness. I was their confidant, the "worldy" person they trusted to not tell anyone about the living hell I saw them going through.

Has anybody else had a similar relationship?

Anitar

serendipity

Welcome mattman!

buffalosrfree

As most have found out, that theier is no such thing as a real friend in the Jdub net. A couple I thought I could count on showed that they weren't friends at all. They were invited to a surprise 30th anniversary for us and didn't come because of where it was held at my son's and his squeeze is DF. So that was there excuse, no phone call the next day to let us know, why no card no nothing for two weeks then he acts as if nothing is happening and that the next time we make the 70 mile jaunt down there they will take us out to dinner, oh sure, they really showed thier true colors and thats it, they want to throw away an 18 yr. relationship well that fine by me. Was quite surprised tho as I had stoodby him through the thick and thin of his alcoholism and had always remained his friend associating with them when no of his supposed other friends would come and see him. And now this so *F* him.

LongHairGal

I could never stand the term "FRIENDS" as it is commonly used there. I used to think: "with friends like these, who needs enemies?" because of their tattle-tale ways.

People think they have friends there. They are mistaken. Mostly what they have are conditional acquaintances. I had several. Most of them are gone except for maybe two. One is inactive and I can tell them how I feel. The other is still in and I can't reveal my feelings to this person.

Once you are out of step with their dance routine you will see these "friends" back off. But it is not so much them backing off from me. In all honesty, I have withdrawn from them because I feel in many cases they are like hollow people who can't think. I can't relate to people like this.

L

Deleted

I lost all my friends when I became a JW, with the exception of about 6 old friends from primary school in the UK who I stayed in touch with - but I now had the worldwide brotherhood of "true" friends.

Then when I left the JW's I lost all those "friends" - every single one of them, as their friendship was totally conditional on me staying a JW. Now I have a few good friends, and a fair number of decent acquaintences.

My advice to anyone thinking of leaving:

Start by living a double life, make plenty of decent "worldly" friends, then leave and you'll have a cushion of friends to fall on when the brethren inevitably let you down.

Glen

silversurfer1

I hurt as I read eveyones replies to this question. I guess I had none. While I was a JW (which was all my life) I had, I thought, plenty of friends. I guess having people who care for you and wish you would come back cannot be defined as a friend. Since I was raised a JW I had know real "worldly" friends. Occasionally I would go to a ball game or a business dinner with workmates but kepted that low key. After 42 years I moved to Florida from Maryland and within a year I was out (DF'd) and my family was back in Maryland. Lonely. A secret phone / email friendship with two from this area. Both have faded and they just didn't satisfy what I feel would be real friendships. I don't know any ex-JW's past or present of which I could established friendships. My really good friends in the JW's are still such. I hope that maybe one day I could offer friendship and support to any of these that may leave. I have made a few friends since and have learned to a new degree to appreciate these friendships.

Mysterious

One. The only one whose relationship with me deepened when I left. The rest threw up, wrote me hate emails, badgered my mother at work or completely ignored me.

How many 'real" friends did you ever really have in ther "truth'

dirtyface1

damselfly