I have two who are still friends. One is inactive, and the other is an elder. They both are of the unconditional type, they were good friends in the org, and they remain good friends. But as far as anyone else goes, well...
j
How many 'real" friends did you ever really have in ther "truth'
by The Lone Ranger 87 Replies latest jw friends
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nelly136
with hindsight, absolutely none of the people i classed as friends actually were.
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lowden
Real friends are those who stick by your side through thick and thin; their friendship is not conditional. Based on this, I would have to say there is not one "real" friend in the entire organization...and I am referring to the non-questioning we-shun-because-we're-told-to types.
Amen to that Grace!!
I thought i had 2 or 3 true friends.
I don't think that way anymore. I just hope that their horribly sullied minds allow them to see the real truth one day and therefore speak to me once more.
I do tend to believe that some are sincere, just mentally frozen by dirty lies as some of us at one time were.
Peace
Lowden
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diamondblue1974
Its a sobering thought for us that we either went through our whole lives pre exit without true friendships or sacrificed real friendships for artificial.
Doesnt that make you angry....it does me.
DB74
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scotsman
I had quite a lot and even though they now shun me I still view the friendship we had at the time as real. Friendships can wax and wane, even close ones, and even the closest of non JW friendships can breakdown or drift apart. It's the sudden stopping that marks these losses as different and painful. I've regained friendship with those that left ahead of me, and picked up with those that left after me and feel sorry for those half a dozen or so really decent eggs that I met who are still trapped in a high control group.
But I'll freely admit that I'm in a fairly forgiving stage in my life. It might pass!
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diamondblue1974
had quite a lot and even though they now shun me I still view the friendship we had at the time as real. Friendships can wax and wane, even close ones, and even the closest of non JW friendships can breakdown or drift apart. It's the sudden stopping that marks these losses as different and painful. I've regained friendship with those that left ahead of me, and picked up with those that left after me and feel sorry for those half a dozen or so really decent eggs that I met who are still trapped in a high control group.
That's an interesting perspective actually; a friendship I suppose is exactly that and some are stronger than others; but when I look at the friendships I've built since exit I feel cheated out of the opportunity to enjoy the type of friendships I have now. The lack of conditions; the non judgemental approach and the proximity.
As a select few are aware this last month or so for me has been probably one of the most difficult for me in terms of life changing decisions; had I been a dub I know for a fact my decisions wouldve been judged and my actions condemned. It's so refreshing to have friends that are not afraid of saying when they think I am wrong but equally are there through thick and thin regardless.
In the WTS this is not possible though and the social dynamics advocate peer pressure and control. - Hardly what true friendships are about really.
DB74
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scotsman
"had I been a dub I know for a fact my decisions wouldve been judged and my actions condemned."
I completely understand and confess that my friends reactions to some recent events in my life couldn't be further from those of the dubs. But they reflect their environment, as did the JW friendships. I don't think any of my friends would stand by me if I turned out to be a paedophile. (but some JWs might!)
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scotsman
I should add that while a JW I really looked hard for friends that were likeminded and was really fortunate to find them as I know many didn't and still don't. I wouldn't recommend it as it was probably forming these friendships that kept me in until I was 30, but I can't regret having made them.
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Gordy
A friend is someone who gives you help and support during times you need it. Given without asking anything in return.
After being a JW for nearly 30 years. I discovered I had none.
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Devilsnok
I used to have loads of friends in the truth, I was Mr popular among my peers. Of those there were a few I would have given my right arm for, really close brothers and sisters that I looked on as just that brothers and sisters.
Then one day my best friends dad went out and committed adultery, his actions spilt the family up and they were all in pieces. The dad got DF'd and the family went to hell. I stuck my nose in found out where John was living and went to have a man to man chat with him to try to patch things up between him and his wife.
Word got out that I'd spoken to someone DF'd and I found myself unofficially marked. My girlfriend was told to drop me by an elders wife and my "best" mate was told not to invite me to his wedding. within a few weeks i was the congregational pariah, no one wanted to know me.
How many real friends did I have on the inside...None would be my honest answer. How many on the outside... again none, because what happened to me really scarred me internally.