by Dansk 59 Replies latest jw friends

  • Dansk

    Most here will know of the serious illness I've been fighting for the past two years. Well, this morning I decided to go for a stroll to try and help build up my fitness. At the bottom of my street lives an elder from my old congregation and I have to pass his house. As it happens he was out in his garden and when he saw me passing he asked how I was doing. I replied: "What's it got to do with you!" This really flummoxed him and I just went on my way. Actually, it was as if the words left my mouth before I could stop them!!

    As I turned the corner I thought I should have handled it better. Perhaps I would have been better saying nothing. However, what must be realised here is that during the past two years, when my illness had me in its deathly grip, he didn't call round once to ask how I was. Also, when my daughter, Stephanie, returned home she confided that she had attempted suicide. The elder in question KNEW but didn't inform Claire and I that Stephanie was in hospital. OK, Stephanie probably said she didn't want us to know (she had left home because we exited the organisation) but we are her parents and the elder should have informed us.

    Also, the same elder is the one who proudly got up on the platform and gave a marking talk referring to Claire and I but without naming us. I was informed by someone who was there that it was obvious the marking was for us. After his talk the shunning started!

    Everyone who really knows me will tell you that I hate upsetting anyone. I even started to feel guilty at sounding off at the elder in the way that I did. I wasn't even going to post this but then, on reflection, I felt it might help others who are still somewhat afraid of the elders. You see, most elders are just big headed jerks who love to hold on to their position in order to laud it over others. This elder strikes me as being such.

    I have to say I do feel good in that he will have realised, once again, that he has no power over me or my family. As I said, I don't like upsetting anyone - but elders deserve disrespect because of what they do and what they represent.


  • carla

    After all you have been through with the jw's and your illness and daughter, sounds pretty tame to me. Unfortunately it will just go over his head and he won't see why anybody should have hard feelings towards him or the org. But you knew that anyway.

  • jwfacts

    Dansk, what a sad story, you have every right to feel hard done by, and showed him the respect he deserved.

    I often wonder what is the best way to react when I encounter JWs in order to have the most lasting affect on them, and often kick myself afterwards for not doing or saying something. At the end of the day, most are not interested in leaving their bigotted views.

  • Scully


    Perhaps the next time you see him, you can include a "punching bag routine" into your fitness regimen. (j/k of course)

    Actually, your response probably put him in his place. He is not entitled to know anything about you, so "What's it got to do with you!" is the perfect answer. He's had it coming for a long time.

  • Dansk


    Carla and jwfacts, thanks for your replies, too!

    I guess I'm a big softy! I think it's important that when we leave the org we're better than them - but as Big Tex once said to me, "We're not robots", i.e. we have feelings! This endorses what Scully said, he got what he deserved!


  • KW13

    hey ian, with what you've been through your alright, i just wish i could of seen it lol.

  • juni

    Good morning Ian.

    I know what you mean. Those terrible "worldly" people show more concern for your well being. So many JWs have the self-righteous mindset. Somehow they think that they are "better" than other people. Very much like the Jews of old w/the superior attitude w/the Gentiles. It's a psuedo-love. For show. Often times when they are out of the view of their fellow believers they are different people. So it truly shows what is in their heart as far as I'm concerned. So unChrist-like even though they proclaim to be God's chosen people.

    I don't feel you were out of line in what you said.

    I know that the Witnesses follow "mother's" commands. They are afraid to even give the appearance that they may be showing a former friend in the religion any kind of concern because they don't want to appear like they are friendly w/the enemy.

    Have a great day guy.


  • Dismembered

    Greetings Dansk,

    We all know you're are just a lovable little fuzzball. Glad you're feeling better.


  • garybuss

    Hi Ian,
    It pisses me off when somebody works against me and tries to sabotage me and my family behind my back and then when they're face to face with me in private, they're all nice and friendly because they don't have the guts to talk trash to me to my face.

  • vitty

    If hed of had any genuine concern for you , he could have popped round to see you anytime, hes an elder, hes allowed to.

    He either asked you out of embarrassment or felt he had to give a good witness, proving how he has agape love for you

    I think you answer was good, it wasnt rude, just to the point and honest

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