thinkin of goin back

by searching4truth 46 Replies latest jw friends

  • SWALKER
    SWALKER

    If you plan on going back and then just fading...that may not work so well now. Seems they have their radar up for that sort of thing. If you then decide to DA, the announcement they now make doesn't make a distinction between the two...they simply announce that you are no longer one of JW's...so you're back in the same boat. No one really knows the reason for your leaving. Even if you fade, most will shun you as you will be regarded as bad association, so there will be little to be gained there. But if you decide to return and go to some meetings and keep up a pretense of being a JW, then you should be fine. If that's what you feel is necessary then by all means do what is best for you.

    Hope that helps....

    Swalker

  • searching4truth
    searching4truth

    if i have to da then i will make my reasons known

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    s4t

    I can dig your feelings - it's sort of like you have been given a "Dishonourable Discharge" and you want to go back, clear your name in way, then just fade away like an old soldier.

    Makes sense I guess. I couldn't handle sitting through another meeting though. Or going witnessing again.

    It's a tough call. Maybe thank your lucky stars you are out and just keep away from the loony farm?

    Pope

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    S4T

    I understand your decision, and if you think it is for the best then go for it. I have several friends that have done the same.

    Just realise that once reinstated you will have to watch your back, and may end up facing be disfellowshipped but this time for apostasy, for which you will be looked down on far more than for any other sin

  • oldflame
    oldflame

    I would'nt go back if it were the last church on earth. No WAY IN HELL !!!!! Not now knowing what I know about the dubs. In a way that is Blasphemy because you know its a cult but yet still assc. No Way dont do it . It's not worth it..

  • bigmouth
    bigmouth

    Yeah, Search4T, I'm with you man. Infiltrate the ranks. Engage in subversive warfare. When you've left as many subtle ideas as you can stand up and say " you can't fire me, I'm resigning!"

  • magoo
    magoo

    .....it seems, you're worried about "them" being in charge over you, having control, but if you go back "just to do it, on your terms", appears to me they will still have the control. just going back shows "them" that you give a shit about what they say,think about you....thus they will always have the "control."

    as it is now, you are "untethered" by there "ball & chains"......stay free...do your own thinking...make your own decisions...let them "think" they rule.

    just my 2 cents worth...

    magoo of the would never for any reason go back class

  • done4good
    done4good

    Simply put, I wouldn't do it. In fact I would say I almost envy your situation. As being df, you don't have to look over your shoulder constantly. It's cut and dry. I wrestle with the question daily as to whether d/a myself or not. As an example, today I have to RSVP for my cousin's wedding, (I don't want to go, but I know it will hurt my anut if I don't), I'll have to go with my "worldly" girlfriend to a room full of jws, that I knew for years, (very awkward). It would be much easier if this was not even an option.

    Just my .02

    j

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Your desire to go back and leave "right" reminds me of my old fantasies of reliving my teen years and NOT getting pregnant and FINISHING High School and CHOOSING college instead of a lifetime career.

    Do you really want to endure six months of bowing and scraping only to leave on your own terms? To have them talk behind your back regardless? Read how one of the most honorable women I've ever met, Lady Lee, is trashed by her former congregation! http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/117745/1.ashx

    Sometimes the best revenge is to live well. I suggest another outlet. How about writing down your experience, your reason for leaving, and post them on a personal web page or on MySpace?

  • blondie
    blondie

    "thinkin of goin back"

    Keep it that way, a thought...eventually, it won't even be a thought.

    You can never really go back. I remember a sister who had been DF'd and reinstated 20 years earlier. Every time someone pointed her out, it was "that's Sister Flawed, she was DF'd 20 years ago..................."

    It will take several years before you even start being included socially after your reinstatement (yes, there are exceptions but generally). Your children will be considered tainted and bad association long after your reinstatement.

    I am a fader and wish being DF'd or DAing myself would keep my JW family out of my life but it won't happen.

    As Thomas Wolfe said: You can't go home again

    Blondie

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