Good luck whatever you do. I dont envy your position at all, being the 'black sheep' an all - or would that be 'goat'?
Might it cause double disappointment to your family if you go back only to do a long fade later? You know how much they are bound to hope that you have finally returned like the prodigal son.
Plus you might feel really guilty if they start slaughtering bulls for you on your return (metaphorically speaking of course) while you know deep down you are just pulling a slow one (cos theres no fast way to escape).
Do what your conscience allows you to, and try to be as honest as is possible without dropping yourself in it.