thinkin of goin back

by searching4truth 46 Replies latest jw friends

  • katiekitten

    Good luck whatever you do. I dont envy your position at all, being the 'black sheep' an all - or would that be 'goat'?

    Might it cause double disappointment to your family if you go back only to do a long fade later? You know how much they are bound to hope that you have finally returned like the prodigal son.

    Plus you might feel really guilty if they start slaughtering bulls for you on your return (metaphorically speaking of course) while you know deep down you are just pulling a slow one (cos theres no fast way to escape).

    Do what your conscience allows you to, and try to be as honest as is possible without dropping yourself in it.

  • saki2fifty
    If making God happy makes me happy, is there a problem with that, saki2fifty?

    I simply quit trying to make an earthly organization happy. I cut out the middle-management bureaucrats (autocrats?) who had never been hired by God to do the job they were doing. I became convinced that making those self-appointed middle-managers happy was not making God happy.

    Not at all, and I would think that it would be quite opposite... very commendable.

    But I was responding to :

    Who are you living for? Whose life is it?
    ... which is how a lot of people on here feel. Live for yourself.... then God. But you have it right, seek God first.
  • saki2fifty
  • jgnat
    ... which is how a lot of people on here feel. Live for yourself.... then God. But you have it right, seek God first.

    The way I see it, in a loving relationship there is no conflict. A generous, loving God only wants what is best for his children. Children who are loved, love back.

    I think the conflict comes in when one or the other perverts the relationship. For instance, an abusive parent who is cruel to their child and then tells the child then tells the child they only did it because they love him. The poor child develops a twisted view of "love", and bears incredible guilt for not loving back the way they should.

  • BizzyBee
    Jehoober did
    Man... watch out for that lightning bolt. It has your name on it.

    If Jee-edgar-hoober doesn't have a sense of humor, I will gladly take a direct hit...........wouldn't want to live with Him forever if we can't share a few laughs..........

  • Roo


    I'm so sorry that you are struggling with this decision. I understand what you are going through as I myself faded without being da'd or df'd but was still treated like an outcast by my so called life long friends. I thought that since I wasn't "officially" kicked out that I'd be able to hang on to them and it would make things so much easier in my relationships. I had an overwhelming sense that the elders were calling the shots and marking me as "bad association". I was baptized at 13yrs of age and ended up leaving over a couple of things that were major issues for me. The elders came to my house on a sheparding visit.....they knew that they had handled a situation incorrectly with me (i won't bore you with the details) and I actually cried and told them that they would never have control over me again (most liberating feeling ever). I even requested my publisher card, I didn't want it within the confines of their "files" but they said they would never hand it over. I think they failed to mark me publicly because they knew they were in the wrong and had caused so many problems in the family. But while it makes things slightly easier with my mom.....she goes back and forth in her treatment of me. One day she's really nice and acts like nothing happened, the next I get the cold shoulder. My brother is not really allowed to associate with me at all because I'm inactive and his wife is hard core JW. And I don't associate with any of the friends that I'd grown up with all my life because they treat me as if I was disfellowshipped anyway.

    I can't tell you what to do.....just wanted you to know that I understand the hold you feel they have on you. It may or may not make things easier with the family members depending on how they view inactivity vs. disfellowshipping. Just can't control how people will treat you, you can only control your own actions. The elders only have power over your actions if you give it to them.

  • moshe

    If you go back and later leave on your own terms, then most likely you will be called an apostate by the Elders. Don't expect to have any conversations with your family when that happens. I would leave things as they are.



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