My Dad's new Wife is a less than thrilling person..

by runningrussianboy 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • runningrussianboy

    Ok guys, this is post 2.

    Here we go. Background.
    Raised a JW. Homeschool by grade 6. 60+ hours by 13. Baptised by 14. Regular Pioneer by 14 and a half. Odds at 14 and a half were 35.6 to 1 on Ministerial Servant and Bethal before 20. THEN...

    I told my Dad an Elder that I thought the way he spoke and treated my was abusive. He told me that he was going to ruin my life and put me back in regular school and make me suffer. See at the time, in retrospect, being a regular pioneer was less about service to god and more about being away from home. So I ran away. I was gone nearly 6 months before I was found.

    For the record, when I ran away I attented all meetings via telephone in the city I had ran away too. I ran away with a backpack of clothes and my bookbag. Oh and to top it off I used a mail forwarding service (so as not to get caught) to turn in my time slips every month.

    So anyways, I get caught. How? I was in El Paso. Working with the sign language group there. Some over zealous sister saw my picture in the local walmart. Called my happy ass in and I got busted at work. So much for helping the deaf group. So I get caught, parents drive out to El Paso, take me home and they volunteer to let me live wherever I want as long as its in Austin. I take them up on that. Only stipulation is that I continue to attend meetings. No worries, been doing that the entire time I'm gone. Then first meeting back, I'm in the back room.

    At this point I'm thinking I'm going to get a welcome back, don't do that again, but were glad you never left Jehovah speal. NOPE, I get the elder squad and a judical commitee. Disfellowshiped less then 2 days after being back.

    I kept to meetings for a while but never quite was the same. I felt betrayed, here I had at 15, ran away, kept the "truth" and I get officially df'd for "not honoring my father and my mother?" What kind of bullshit lame duck excuse is that?!!!

    Footnote Reads : As a side point, the elder in charge of my case was disfellowshiped two years later. He was caught having an affair with another married sister. It had been going on for over 5 years. He was caught in the affair, assaulted his wife and two sons and spent 6 months in jail. But he was the guy god picked to df me! Crock of shiT!

    But that was the back story. My mom died in 04. In true JW fashion Dad remaried in 05, nearly a year past her death to the day. Is it just me or do Jw's have the shortest grief periods around. Maybe they figure that they'll see their ex-loved one in the resurection and then they can introduce them to the replacement. Oh and if the resurection is to be so damn happy, then what, resurectees have no emotions as they see the husband who "in the blink of an eye" was their lifelong mate is now boning sister pioneer on that bench under the tree. But I digress, that is a topic of a different post.

    So he gets married and we have not spoke since. We didn't talk much to begin with but now I am 100% cut off. I talked to my grandmother today. She is a Witness. But she finds it in her heart to talk to me somewhat. I asked her about him, she told me he was good. She gave me his work and cell phone numbers and then said, don't call the house. Gail(new wife) doesn't like that. She doesn't want to hear your messages.

    I'm like what a [edit]! I frankly am happy my dad found someone else. He needed someone to take care of him. But what a bitch to be like that? So really I get it but I don't .

    WHAT IS UP WITH THESE "we'll be nice and friendly to the worldly people wherever we shall meet them" and then to be "oh and your son...TELL HIM TO NEVER CALL HERE"

    Can someone explain the thinking?

  • orbison11

    i was enjoying your post until i got to the 5th word on the 4th last bottom line.......not going to bother reading any further,,,,,,


  • Confession

    Yipes! That is one miserable story, running... So sorry for you. But glad to hear you figured it out...or have you?

  • jwfacts

    Thanks for the post and welcome. Very interesting and sad story, and I love the way you highlight the obvious double standard/warped belief structure of the WTS.

  • wednesday

    What your father has done is wrong, casting you aside. I am so sorry this has happened t you, one os young. I hope you will stay a while and while the board does have some language guidelines, a lot of us have been known to say a curse word or two if it fit.

    I am so sorry about the passing of your mom.

    stay a while,

    humm, you and RitchieRich should get to know each other.

  • Fe2O3Girl

    Welcome runningrussianboy!

    I didn't find anything offensive in your post, in fact I think it was quite restrained given the way you have been treated by the congregation and your family. "No natural affection", eh?

    So, what are you up to now?


  • sass_my_frass

    Hiya Ruski! Welcome to our little world, make yourself at home. What a story, thank you for sharing it. You sure had to grow up fast hey? Are you okay now? Feeling comfortable in general?

    Keep it together.

  • Dr Jekyll
    Dr Jekyll

    Welcome to the group runningrussianboy, I can empathise with your story. When my parents split my mum's new husband made her chose between himself and us. As a result we got cut off and we lost our mum. There are some really selfish people out there.

  • luna2

    Welcome to JWD, rrb. Amazing story!

    I agree with you on JW mourning periods for brothers. I've known three guys who remarried within a year of their first wife's death (sometimes within months). Even as a staunch JW this rush to acquire a new wife as soon as possible bothered me. Never knew if it was because there were so many women to choose from and they were like kids in a candy store or if it was that they were unable to be alone.

    Re the behavior of the new wife: there are some people who don't want to acknowledge that their new spouse had a life before them. They treat kids from the first marriage either like their personal slaves or they ignore them. I'd be tempted to call and leave messages all over their answering machine. Childish, probably, but I'd want to annoy her as much as possible. Who gives a rat's patoot what she thinks anyway? lol

  • Satanus

    That is a rough experience. One good thing out of it, it gives you achance to reexamine the religion.


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