Why do so many show such anger towards JW who post here? What might help?

by Lady Lee 58 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  mrsjones5

  I post a picture of my baby son and get a couple of pages of replies, someone comes here and insults us all and gets 10 pages of attention.

  Yep, we (I say that cuz I've been guilty of this on this board) can't help it. It's like watching a car accident when your driving the opposite way down the highway. You know you shouldn't slow down and gawk but you just can't help it.

  I like the post where someone said that they just don't respond to topics where an obvious jw troll is flaming. That is a good plan and I do that too but sometimes I slip up. *slaps hand* I will do better.

  But if some troll wants to pm me with crap, all bets are off.

  Josie
• 

  Mary

  FinallyFree said: If a JW comes here sincerely seeking our perspective on things, I say treat him with respect. But as far as I'm concerned, as soon as I see a JW get abusive with myself or someone else then all bets are off.

  Bingo. It's one thing for an active JW believer to post questions on here, but more often then not, they come across with the same hoity-toity-We-Are-Right-And-You-Are-All-Evil attitude and they refuse to acknowledge or discuss many of the problems going on in the Organization. And that's what sets people off. Like it's already been mentioned, we put up with that attitude for years and it did an incredible amount of damage to us spiritually, mentally and psychologically. It's not any great surprise then when someone like jw comes on here spouting nonsense, that we react the way we do.
• 

  Sunnygal41

  but look from wince we came..............LOL........that was cute, Java. I'd like to add that some of the responses might be engendered by basic personality differences too......some of us are just much more aggessive than others.......I am sure that I must get on some people's nerves, as for the most part, I comment when something strikes me funny, which is alot of the time.......I may even come off as an empty headed flibberty gibbet, which I'm really not. I'm just in a really good space for the most part in my life, after years of extreme anxiety and unhappiness. That said, with these situations, I try to step back and respond to the questions instead of hurling personal insults. Terri
• 

  anewme

  People have different fighting styles. And everyone is in a different stage of healing from exiting the cult.
  Some stand and fight. And they enjoy a good debate. Others like myself dont enjoy debate and when we discern an entrenched opposer, we walk away.
  
  While I think it is helpful to the honest hearted questioner that some ex-jws stick around and explain the ex view, it is understandable that others do not want to talk long with pro-jw supporters.
  
  This whole issue is a very sensitive one. It is like talking about the death of a relative or of some other traumatic experience. There are stages to the mental and emotional process of dealing with it.
  Anger is a defensive way to protect ourselves and our postion.
  Anger is just one of the steps of healing from a traumatic experience.
  So anger is a natural and normal by product of exiting the jws. For some, this anger lasts longer before going to the next and final stages.
  
  Anger on the part of the jw or ex jw is natural. But it equates a dare. "I dare you,or I challenge you to pierce my beliefs"
  
  When one has moved on and has reached a level of acceptance of personal beliefs and is at peace, there is no longer a reason to fight or become angry. It is like becoming angry if an ant shakes a fist at you.
  It is no longer a threat and so no longer opponent to our peace.
  
  
  Just my thoughts,
  
  Anewme
• 

  Darxka

  who said anything about anger? is this not a "disscussion"? you should have been ready for that when you signed up... im not saying your in the wrong.. or that im right... but just think... people are people..and they will have different views.. we are all different. Thats the way god made us, so it is completely natural to have different aspects on certain things
• 

  freetosee

  Dear Lady Lee,

  Thank you very much for this thread. I have been away from the JWs for a couple of years now and over the years looked into this forum. Reading the discussions I often felt ashamed because of the frustration evident and the unnecessary insulting of JW. I thought this forum was contra productive and is serving the WTS a good service. I imagined how a active JW would take this bible study here to show him an example of Satan’s apostasy, hate and persecution and compare it with the love (bombing) experienced at the meetings.

  Only through googling on certain topics was I referred back to this forum and enjoyed some of the deep discussions and thoughts posted here.

  Some of the things JW post are hurtfully wrong and are a pain to read, but disrespecting and insulting them only makes the WT manipulation more powerful.

  Thank you again. I think this topic needs to be discussed regularly. (Maybe it is -I don’t know as I am a newbie)

  Freetosee
• 

  just2sheep

  ladylee,

  thanks for the the thread. i think it is helpful to air our simialarities as often as possible. something i notice about this kind of thread though is that the most contentious, i hate you and i don't even have to read what you posted to tell you that, posters never reply to this kind of thread. and i think that they were probably that way as jws and just can't get past that way of thinking. just like paul was a zealot jew who became a zealot christian, some leopards change their spots and nothing else. cheers to dialouge.

  j2s
• 

  Lady Lee

  This is a topic that gets discusses regularly here. Probably because the issue keeps coming up.

  We know how badly we have been hurt and most of the anger is justified towards the WTS

  And I certainly know how hurtful it is to have someone simply turn that around and say things like we deserved it for sinning

  JWs come here and tell us they are God's people and are better, cleaner, show more love than anyone else and we have turned our backs on God when we see a difference between God and a man-made orgainzation.

  Knowing what we know about the org and having had our lives ripped to shreds deserves our anger.

  But I have to wonder why JWs come here. We know some come because they have doubts and are really looking for answers. Some land here quite innocently and as soon as they see apostates they run back to the WTS - which is fine if that is where they want to be.

  And yes there are some who come here because:

  • they believe they are above the WTS' warnings about the intrnet
  • they think they can help questioning ones go back
  • they think they can talk the rest of us to go back

  I think this last group is the one who wind up actually help us decide we are never going back to the WTS. They are doing us a favor by confirming our decision to leave.

  Getting angry at them doesn't bother them one bit. It winds up confirming what the WTS says: We are all angry, depraved and lost. They may even be quite pleased with themselves that they can stir us up.

  So if our anger does nothing to help them then it must be doing something.

  It hurts us. It stirs up all the old hurts but rather than expressing the anger in a way that helps ease our pain it just lashes out.

  Hmmmm this gives me an idea.
• 

  kid-A

  I believe the ones that come here genuinely looking for answers are for the most part, treated with respect. I have only seen flamings happen when an active JW starts posting with the obvious intention of trolling and attention seeking with a self-righteous, arrogant and insulting attitude towards the apostate community. Many of them are blatantly hostile and really should not be surprised when we "bite back". Mess with the bull, you're gonna get the horns, and that applies to pretty much anything in life.
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  anewme

  I feel no more compulsion to argue with a witness about his religion than I do with an atheist about his position. I just dont care enough I guess.
  
  
  But the points made in an argument DO PIERCE THE ARMOUR of the unguarded debater sometimes, so inroads can be made in an opposer's viewpoints.
  
  
  This is the challenge and amusement for the continuing debater I think. They enjoy the fight and knowing they are causing the opposer irritation and pain and food for thought.
  
  
  Im just one of those walk away persons. I walk away from debaters and obvious crazy people.
  Im not weirdly attracted to losers anymore. I was trained by the WBTS to hone in on the lonely depressed and lost souls looking for "truth".
  
  What is the point of all of that now? Really, I ask you?
  
  Am I going to get life eternal for arguing with anybody over unknowable things?
  
  
  Anewme