Why do so many show such anger towards JW who post here? What might help?

by Lady Lee 58 Replies latest jw friends

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  Finally-Free

  If a JW comes here sincerely seeking our perspective on things, I say treat him with respect. But as far as I'm concerned, as soon as I see a JW get abusive with myself or someone else then all bets are off. I spent 20 years putting up with their abusive speech and actions, and those days are over. Many JWs I met, especially elders, were accustomed to speaking abusively to people. If they spoke that way to people in the real world they'd probably spend most of their lives hospitalized. (or maybe that's just the neighbourhood I grew up in)

  Treat them with respect until their actions demonstrate they deserve none. As a victim of various types of abuse, literally since birth, I've learned one thing. Coddling, respecting, or otherwise sucking up to abusive people will not make them change - it encourages them and makes them worse. We do them no favour by acting as though such behaviour is acceptable.

  W
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  BizzyBee

  FinallyFree: I spent 20 years putting up with their abusive speech and actions, and those days are over.

  FinallyFree nailed it.
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  Lady Lee

  blondie

  Answer for the lurkers that are reading.

  They are always there. How many times have we seen people say they lurkers sometimes for years before they got the courage to post

  jamelle

  I have refrained from posting on any threads involving someone who is still a JW because I get so angry at what they say. I can't trust myself not to say something really nasty in return.

  I feel that way too so I often don't even go into those threads

  FE

  There are some current JWs who are struggling with teachings or treatment, and their demeanour and posting style is completely different.

  I post a picture of my baby son and get a couple of pages of replies, someone comes here and insults us all and gets 10 pages of attention.

  I hear ya. Sometimes it is very frustrating.

  FF

  Treat them with respect until their actions demonstrate they deserve none. As a victim of various types of abuse, literally since birth, I've learned one thing. Coddling, respecting, or otherwise sucking up to abusive people will not make them change - it encourages them and makes them worse. We do them no favour by acting as though such behaviour is acceptable.

  moral here - Don't feed the trolls
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  limbogirl

  I haven't responded to any posts from those who proclaim to be JW's. To me it's just another example of the hypocrisy I dealt with all the years I was growing up JW and frankly, it turns my stomach. A lot of people on this board have been DF'd unfairly and it's a slap in the face when a JW who is knowingly breaking the rules and committing an offense punishable by DF'ing surfaces here and begins spouting. I don't feel the need to respond...in my world, they simply don't exist. I'm always reminded of that scripture about not responding to a stupid one. My mother would always pull that out when I was hurt by being made fun of for being JW at school. Now I just reverse it and apply it to the JW posters on this board.
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  looking_glass

  Which is why diccusion of religion and politics are often no-nos. And most of us here are very passionate about having been duped. And I think very frustrated that family and friends just can't see what we see

  I guess to me that is why it really hit home when people mentioned respect. Because if I want people to respect my views, not necessarily agree, just respect, then how can I not respect theirs. Respect begets respect. But, I think that is what is lost in translation here in this false medium.

  What I think is funny (but in a sad way) is when people start accusing people of essentially the same thing ... not being open-minded and not showing respect for the person's point of view.

  In my mind I think ... what makes me right. So when it comes to religion, which is so open to interpretation, why would I ever think I am right and the other person is wrong.
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  Ingenuous

  I usually stay out of any discussions with posters who appear to be JWs if it becomes clear they aren't reasonable. That is, unless a statement is made which is factually incorrect and I can post a brief correction. I haven't matured to the point where I can deal with people like that in a Christian manner.

  I know that when I was "in", there wasn't a thing in the world that could have forced me out. Nothing could make me think for myself. Being raised a JW, I hadn't had any practice and couldn't have recognized healthy psychological functioning if it jumped up and bit me.

  I do have beliefs about the situation, though - ideals that I'd like to learn to enact. I think every encounter has to be approached with kindness and tolerance, especially if outright love for one's fellow man isn't within reach for me emotionally at that particular moment. Such is especially necessary since I don't think reason is always the first or best approach. I say that because when I met someone "worldly" who was a good person, with a good heart and a sharp mind, someone who displayed the tolerance and respect that was missing among the JWs I knew, that hit me the hardest and started getting the rusty gears of my mind going - little by little, encounter by encounter. It was seeing the goodness in the humans around me that has touched me most since I left and has made the biggest impact on my healing and my life. It's the people around me - people who used to be "worldly" strangers, "them" as opposed to "us" - who have shown me the true meaning of kindness and - yes - love, and made it possible for me to survive leaving the Witnesses. That includes many on this forum.

  I think there's a reason Paul told the Romans to "conquer the evil with the good" and to leave vengeance to God. I think it's because we don't handle anger very well as a species, because we don't always know where the limits of judgement should be, because we cross the line between righteous indignation and self-righteousness far too easily. Love is the only thing we can do reliably well - if we mean it and it's real.
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  spawn2u

  You bring up great points. I am a newbie here and have been cautious about sounding like a sympathizer, that is how many here come accross and I am sure has scared many who would consider looking around and discussing intellegently with others. This is one place where people actually understand what you mean when you say that you do not know your brothers birth date. This is therapy for me, probably many others, and many more to come, let them come and be able to vent with others who do understand.
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  Justin

  The reason some lurk for years is that they know they will be attacked unless they renounce their faith or express doubts when they begin posting. For the most part, the active JWs we get are the ones who break their own rules in order to attack us. We don't see people making changes as a result of interaction with us. Any change that occurs is during the lurking period, and when they emerge from their lurking they become one of us!
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  sass_my_frass

  I consider this a safe place for us to deal with our frustrations and hurt, and anybody barging in to insult us is only itching for a fight. If they were a genuine JW, they wouldn't be here, or they'd do a hit-and-run single post and never return to hear the apostates thoughts on that. I say, knock yourselves out; they deliberately post insulting things, and make themselves a target. Go ahead and shoot, it's what they came here for. They have some fun, I get some frustration out of my system... it's a win-win.

  Alright I'll ignore them from now on.
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  Kero-kero

  I think we need to be careful and not attack someones elses beliefs. If we start saying that someone is wrong then we are no better the the WTS after all they will claim they are right and everyone else is wrong.

  If a genuine JW comes her and wants to have a discussion in a mature way and is open to hear our thoughts with out judging and condeming then we should show respect to that person and answer his question(s) to the best of our ability and to also ask him questions.

  I am sure that last thing anyone wants here is to have a forum of hate.

  On a personal level...yes I have experienced some unpleasent things from so called brothers and sisters...and yes, I do feel a dislike towards them...but it is not JW's I hate...it is the organisation.

  I happly welcome Jehovah's Witnesses to this discussion forum...after all I was once a JW myself.

  Has for people like 'jw' (whom I am convinced is not a JW) we should just ignore him...arguing back is just lowing ourselves down to his level, after all it seems to me he is here just to course trouble.