SoL these are awesome and cringe-inducing at the same time. I could feel my brain vacillating between thinking and zombie when those certain key words and phrases were spoken by the elders. It is in some twisted way, a hypnotism we've undergone while a JW. I just hate it. LOL (control freak that I am :) )
I would love to give you my elders' numbers -- one is a real jack-ass. Very cold yet passionate, very 'by the book'. He's relatively new -- about 10 years an elder, yet seems to be at the same "maturity" level as when he was appointed. (Incidentally, he was a virgin til he was married at 33, NOT raised in the troof. Freak). The other elder has been an elder for over 20 years, PO for most ot it -- this is the creep who has sexual issues I think... or maybe just issues with me and my skirt slits. What the hell ever. Anyway -- he's the one who read 1 Cor 9:7 at me when I was leaning on another 'brother' during my separation/divorce yadda yadda ( But if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to be inflamed [with passion]) then looked at me and said "Rachel, I know you. You NEED to be married." Nasty nasty little man....
Anyway, if you want to tangle with a couple of conservative, Iowa elders, I'll PM you their phone numbers.
~merfi