Elders have no manners

by Jez 53 Replies latest jw experiences

  • TooOpinionated

    Not only the elders, but the women in the congregation used to do it to me. I worked shift work, had young babies, and asked repeatedly for them to call first. The most that ever happened is that they sat in my driveway calling me on their cell phone when I wouldn't answer the door.

    I wasn't raised in the religion, and I never had that problem until I met this particular group of people. They always thought I was being too touchy as I honestly became furious at the intrusion. Hey, either I was sleeping during the day after working all night, or one of the babies had just laid down, and there was hardly any time for making the house "company ready".

    Actually, I've often thought this was done on purpose as it seemed to give the JW women a reason to feel superior that their house was perfect. I really could feel the smugness roll off them.

    As for asking the elders to call first, I did repeatedly. Never happened. So we put the No Trespassing sign up. I was tired of feeling like a prisoner in my own home.

  • hamsterbait

    If they embarrass you - embarrass them:

    "HI!! Just go into the sitting room - I'll be a few minutes as my husband just had sex with me, and I need to take out my diaphragm and wash it."

    When you get back shake their hands and say how lovely it is to see them.


  • BluesBrother

    Why ask for an appointment? They know you would probably say No...

    9 am Saturday ? No doubt on the way to the Field Ministry and it just suits them nicely to call then . The fact that it does not suit you doesn't seem to matter

    What's this with visits? I thought they must have stopped doing that. Around here you could be dead for all they know or care....

  • What-A-Coincidence

    When I was an elder I dropped by unannounced sometimes. Looking back, my mindset was that they should appreciate that I took the time to visit them withought calling ahead. Hey, I was appointed by holy spirit thus I am over the rules.

    I got visited by 2 elders last month (unannounced). They usually take advantage of dropping by since they are already out in service and in the area. I hated the conversation...first it's we are happy with you guys then IS THEIR SOMETHING WE CAN HELP YOU WITH? Na fools. Go away.

  • blondie

    Some elders do "drop by" hoping to catch you doing something wrong. When hubbie was a new elder, they were out "cruising" and drove by an inactive JW's house. He was so disappointed that he didn't catch this person outside smoking as some anonymous person had reported.

    I have told the elders that if they don't call first and make an appointment that we will not answer the door.

    We do screen our calls so they will never get us "live" on the phone. Unless close friends and specific family, all calls go into the answering machine.


  • fullofdoubtnow

    This trait seems common to elders throughout the world, and it can be very annoying. Two of the elders in my old kh did that to me when I had missed a meeting or two. They turned up on my doorstep unannounced and then wondered why I wasn't very welcoming, they just couldn't see how impolite they were being. I never really figured out why they did it, they didn't have much to say really, just made a couple of thinly veiled threats as to my future conduct and left. Two weeks later I da'd.

  • scrubmaster

    Sorry were I came from we always called or made appointments. I was an MS and when I went out with the elder in our bookstudy he always would make arrangements with the people first. I think this is the only right thing to do.

  • blondie

    scrubmaster, I knew a few elders who would try, but the other elders would not comply. It is rare today for them to make appointments in the area I have experience in, probably 75 congregations....maybe they teach each other bad habits.


  • daystar

    Hey scrubmaster, your congregation must have been an exception then, in this case. It still happens today where my parents go. I was visiting them one beautiful Saturday when my dad was running a garage sale when who popped in? The PO and some other elder. They actually stood in the middle of the sale area waiting for my father to basically shut it down so he could talk to them.

    I so wanted to place my boot squarely between their eyes. *boot to the head!*

  • xjwms

    I agree with Blondie on this one.......they should follow the advice from mother.. call first.

    I must be do'in real good....nobody stops by....nobody calls....nobody gives a damn.....thats who I am.

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