Elders have no manners

by Jez 53 Replies latest jw experiences

  • skeeter1
    What To Do When Jehovah's Witnesses Come To Visit You


    1. Answer the door naked and carrying weaponry. (immediate results) 2. Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long their spirit of Christian charity lasts. 3. Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?" This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to get flustered and leave. 4. Ask them to explain the story of Elisha and the Forty two children. You may have to resort to another method to actually get rid of them, but this will definitely make them sweat. (2Kings, chapt.2, ummm... somewhere near the end) 5. Excuse yourself from your sitting room (or wherever) and DO NOT come back. 6. Make a series of increasingly reprehensible fake phone calls. (booky, order for pornography, drug deal, obscene call, and if they are STILL there, a tearfull confession to the police for the murder of the last Witnesses who visited you.) 7. Pick an oft-repeated word in their lexicon (God, Jesus, heaven, it, the etc.) and giggle whenever they utter it. If they ask you what's going on, say "nothing, why?" in very even tones, and giggle again. 8. Same as #7, except say "beep" instead of giggling. 9. (males only) Feign an intense interest in their speil. Part way through, begin putting on make-up, hosery, a dress, the whole works. (make encouraging noises [uh huh, I see...] throughout and if they ask you what you're doing, pull a #7) If they're still there when you are done, ask them if they would please kindly leave as you have a hot date in ten minutes. 10. Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.
  • Jez

    I have nothing to hide..........except my ENTIRE LIFE. NOT one part of my life is any of their business...and that is why it pisses me off so much that they assume that if they just show up, when it is convenient for them, that is is convenient for me too!!

    If I need them, I know how to contact them.

    If they want me, they can phone first and ASK permission to visit me.


  • James Free
    James Free
    Do you realize that elders have their own families to care for and the majority have full time jobs to tend to?

    Very true. It is rare to find an Elder following their own advice about putting first the kingdom and pioneering!

    Do you realize the pressure of caring for 80 to 100 publishers?

    With power comes responsibilities. Most Elders don't understand the concept of genuinely 'caring', and very few live up to their responsibilities, except the ones that elevate them, like talks etc.

    Do you realize that they also get tired and fatigued?

    Not from spiritual activity they don't. The ones I know can't even manage the average monthly hours unless they ad 4 hours for the 'family study', public talk etc.

    Do you realize that they are humans?

    So true - if only THEY would realize it! Instead they are God's representatives, apointed by Holy Spirit and entitled to promote whatever pet idea they have as if it came from God. Object and you are labeled rebelious!

    Do you realize what it takes to prepare the different assignments for the meetings?

    Yes, for the clever ones, a few minutes printing it out from the cd-rom, or getting their wife to do it while they are at work. For the 'mentally challenged' it can take hours to prepare a short talk that inspires nobody. At my hall they even used an Elder who couldn't even speak the language!

    All this without adding judicial committees, shepearding calls or service.
    I don't know if the order was deliberate, but it is true they do spend a lot of time on the first point - so much so that point 2 is a rare occurance in most congregations. As for service, most of the time 'counted' is handing out assignments, talking on the corner, and 'just going to check xx is Ok', meaning I am going to disappear for half hour, then return to my car, say I am 'going on a call' kmowing they are unlikely to be in, or just to hand them 2 mags, then going home satisfied, having 'preached' to noone, but being happy in the knowledge that you were 'seen' by the brothers 'taking the lead'.
  • Lapuce

    I love Steeker's solutions...... especially #9. loll....

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