Letter to Ritchie's Mom

by jgnat 48 Replies latest social family

  • Nosferatu

    Dear Richie's mom:

    You have a fantastic son who is very creative, determined, and mature. I'm hoping that his decisions will not affect the relationship between the two of you.

    My parents (only one is a JW) have looked down on me, criticized me, and have expressed their disappointment in the decisions and actions I have taken in my life. I have been very successful in my life, but they cannot see that. They still have to tell me how disappointed they are in me. In return, I despise my parents and I have no respect for either of them. They cannot seem to grasp the idea that I am 28 years old, and have to make my own mistakes and learn from my own experiences in life.

    I'm hoping that your decision regarding the communication with your son will show that you are supportive of him, and understand that he is becoming an adult. I also hope that the relationship between the two of you isn't destroyed like my relationship with my parents. Once that relationship is destroyed, it's almost impossible to repair it.


  • Check_Your_Premises

    Mrs Richie's Mom,

    First off I want to thank you for raising such a great kid. I am 34, and everytime I have talked with your son I have always been amazed by him. Much past my 20th birthday, I don't think I ever met a 17 year old I wanted to spend any time around. Here I am 14 years later, and I just get the biggest kick out of your son. He is without a doubt the funniest, nicest, wisest, and most decent 17 year old I have ever met.

    I understand he is taking a different path from the one you chose for him. As a parent I understand how painful that can be. The great, painful realization of parenting is that you realize you only have so much control over them. Eventually, they are going to do what they want to do, and become who they want to be. All we can do is watch and hold our breath. I wouldn't worry about your son to much. He just has to much going for him. Whatever the truth is, he has the intelligence and honesty to get as close to it as anybody. If he ends up in a different place then you, it would probably make a lot of sense to try to understand why. I sure hope I do as good of a job raising my kids.

    The other thing I know from speaking to him, is that he loves his momma very much. And he always will. My mother told me that "the only woman that ever really loves you is your momma."


  • Soledad

    Dear Richie's Mom

    Richie is an intelligent, caring, compassionate human being. You owe yourself a pat on the back for raising such a fine person. But why let a man-made religious organization break the bonds between mother and son? Isn't a parent supposed to love their children unconditionally? The Watchtower only encourages conditional love; that is, I love you as long as you believe as I do. It's painful for me to realize that my own mother showed me this kind of limited, insincere type of love for so many years. How I wish I could have spoken to her and gotten through to the real person inside of her, not the pre-programmed religious robot that I had for a mother. It's tough. I am in my 30s now and I am beginning to realize how much I could use some kind words from my mom, but instead I get criticism. She drove me away from her for good. Please don't make the same mistake with Richie. You will hurt yourself more than you will hurt him because inspite of it all Richie will be ok. There are many people who care for him and are more than willing to lend him a hand. Don't turn your back on your son.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Dear Richie's Mom , As one Mother to another may I express to you what a wonderful son you have raised. Richie has a lovable , comical way of expressing himself that endears himself to those that converse with him.You have a honorable son that clearly loves his mother very much. You have no doubt waited in anticipation to see what type of man Richie would become . Very soon now it will be his time to grow , expand from the family unit ,and decide what he will make of the life given him. This will be your hardest time as a mother ...to let your child make the adult decisions you have always made for him up until now. Richie only asks for your love and support so that he can continue to become the man he dreams to be.There will be no greater gift that you can give your son than your un-conditional love. You will be faced with a challenge ...listen to your heart ...there will be those that will try to convince you that shunning your child is in his best interest...that is just not true....God gives mothers the natural bond of affection for a reason...never negelect it. My love to you both ....

  • Sunnygal41

    Seeing as I think I am in deep caca with me own mum.........something about saying the dubs are all brainwashed by the WTS to her this weekend might have pissed her off a little...........sigh..........

    Your son is a wonderful, incredibly bright young man, whom you should be proud of. Ya did a good job raising him. Now, he's starting to think for himself and explore the world. As my sister once said about her role as mom to her own three boys: "it is my job as a parent to put myself out of a job".........wise words.

  • Sunspot

    To Richie's mom,

    I was a loyal JW for 30 years and during that time, my firstborn son was DFed. When the 1981 WT article came out and we were counseled against association with non-household DFed JW family, I followed the WTS advice. I did as the WTS said, and I shunned him until he "would become ashamed and repented of his ways"....which never happened.

    He got a great job, married, had a lovely home built on five acres of land, and became a father to three children now 23, 19 and 13. Sadly, I missed all of their births, their first steps, their accomplishments in dance, band, track, basketball, scouts, as well as all the charitable works they still are involved in today within this community. They are well-adjusted and ***pretty much polite and caring individuals.

    The first time I set eyes on them (other than seeing items in our smalltown newspaper) was last November for one afternoon. The oldest, my grandson, *** (explanation for "polite") turned around and left the room when I walked in....the younger ones, the girls, were polite and accomodating enough to put me at ease. I was glad to be there...but it was apparent that I was not "Gramma Annie", but a stranger who had just dropped by. It isn't their fault.

    How much devastation and gut-wrenching heartbreak could have all been avoided had I not "listened" to the ever-changing dictates and counsel of the "spiritual leaders" of this religion. Twenty-five wasted years of not being in my son's LIFE, because of a shunning policy that can change by the next WT magazine's "new light". Twenty-five wasted years that we could have been a real family.

    It stil pains me deeply that it was "my choice" that this came about....my choice to throw away what had once been a close-knit family....into a disaster. I have been told point blank that things will never EVER be able to be restored, and I will just have to be content with what very little I can scrape together NOW, as far as "being close" ever again. I have cause that much pain to my son, and his wife and children have definetely "picked up" on all this.....the "missing Gramma that they never saw". I live less than five mies away from them.

    Richie is all of what has been said about him by the posters on this forum .....and MORE. How much we worried about drug involvement, making good grades, getting "in with" the wrong girl or undesirable friends.....and yet you have none of these concerns with this wonderful young man you have raised.

    You now know only a bit about how much I have hurt MY son....and have seen the total wreckage and unnecessary pain we can make on our children's lives....by CHOOSING to disown them, not have meaningful association with them, and generally pretending they don't exist and are "dead" to us, due to our anger and disappointment that they didn't "go with the WTS program".

    I am begging you to reconsider any harsh moves that I KNOW you will regret for the rest of your life.



  • DazedAndConfused

    Dear Richie's Mom,

    I want to let you know what a loving, witty, intelligent man you have brought up. I would be proud to say he were my son. I have lost 2 children, 1 of them being my only son. I just hope that you are as proud of Richie as I would be if he were mine.

    What I have seen from Richie are qualities that many young men do not acquire until much later in life. You have done a great job in raising him. I applaud you for that.



  • theinfamousone

    dear richies mom,

    ill kill you! no but seriously... is jehubba really more important to you than your own flesh and blood? do you really think that someone who has no intent on ever speaking to you, showing himself to you, or even listening to you directly is more important than someone who truly does love you and will truly be hurt by losing you???? seriously?

    jehovah has caused nothing but pain for your son and many, many others... and yet, you chastize and even ridicule your son to the point that he thinks he will not be able to have contact with you because of his new beliefs??? what is it with jehovahs wittnesses and forsaking their families... nowhere in any publication does it say SHUN YOUR WORLDLY FAMILY!!!! NOWHERE!!! it may say something like shun the apostates, but he is not an apostate.... he is a child, more importantly, YOUR CHILD!!!

    richie is an incredibly intelligent, charming and sweet young man.... if he were to walk out of your life, not only would he be losing a mother, but you would be losing an incredible person... i think you stand to lose more than he does... trust me, this is coming from someone who has lost most of his family over religion....

    i guess my point is, do you really value religion more than a child??? what happened to the love and acceptance jehovah was supposed to teach you???

    the infamous one

  • IronClaw

    Dear Ritchie's Mom,

    Your son is an asset to our community. He is years ahead in his intellect and humour. One only need read his posts to see. I would be proud to have a son like him.

    Respectfully, Jim.

  • confusedjw

    Dear RR's Mom,

    A dear friend and elder came to my home and asked me how I would raise my children without the Society. What would happen without the congregation? What if the worst happened? (The worst that he was referring to was if my daughter was to get pregnant)

    I thought about his question and told him that the "worst" would be if my daughter were to get into trouble and I abandoned her. The "worst" would be if I let something come between me and my daughter that I love.

    RR's Mom. Don't let anything come between you and your son, especially an organization that doesn't love your son nearly as much as you do.


    Confusedjw (no longer confused)

Share this