Letter to Ritchie's Mom

by jgnat 48 Replies latest social family

  • KW13

    Dear Richies mum,

    Growing up is about experience, learning for yourself and going on to understand why things are as they are. Without seeing things yourself you become open, nieve and even vulnerable!

    Just as you personally chose your religion and made your own decisions, its important Richie can also do this. How for example did you become and then stay a Jehovah's Witness? by choice! What value would your beliefs have if say, you were forced!

    Religion and belief are something that become part of you. The way you live, why you do things. You wouldn't for example swear, smoke or do other things because of your faith.

    Richie is a sensible lad, i've been able to see how he feels and you really do matter to him thats not in doubt. This isn't a rejection of God, Christ, the Bible and certainly not what you've taught him. Whatever decisions he makes in life, you've got a good son who thinks through everything he does.

    Last year i left the witnesses. My mum kicked me out and i had to live with other relatives. The confusion as to why she did this was blinding and our relationship was never the same. Why? because the glue that had always made me trust her and believe what she said had stopped working. Please, see your son for who he is and don't judge him on his actions.

    Feel free to contact me, Richie can obtain my e-mail address at any time if you have any questions or want to express how you feel.

    From Karl

  • lola28

    Hi Richies mom

    I don't really know what to say but here it goes, Richie is a good person an honest kid. Please, please do not shun him just because he has chosen to not stay a witness. He is your son and he loves you, what else do you want, is that not enough? Do not cause your boy pain over this, you are his mother and he is your son, love him the way he loves you, with no strings attached. He deserves that and you deserve to see him grow up into a wonderful man. I wish you both the best.


  • Victorian sky
    Victorian sky

    Dear Richie's Mom,

    Please don't shun him! Jehovah's not going to shun him so why should you? God would never ask you to do that to your son. He's a wonderful young man, please listen to your heart, follow your natural instinct and love your son. - Love, V- Sky

  • Pistoff

    Ritchies' mom:

    Your son has rare courage; he has faced the entire set of beliefs instilled in him since birth, examined the evidence and found them wanting. He is doing what we ask people to do every day in the ministry; he has concluded that he can no longer in good conscience stay there, even though it will cause you pain.

    What has he seen that has caused him to make this very hard choice? Please listen to him.


    A father who wished HE had investigated his beliefs before raising 3 children here.


  • Balsam

    Dear Richie's Mom,

    Know your in shock that your dear son could want nothing to do with the "Truth" as you know it. It has been a long and hard journey for him to come to this decision he doesn't want to be a JW. It's unfortunate that he was encouraged to be baptized at a young age when he didn't fully understand about what it meant. It is never wise to let our young ones get baptized at a young age. They should be at least 18 or older.

    I think your son is awsome, and a very good young man. You should be proud of him and not reject him. He is being true to himself and not living a falsehood. He is trying to spare you by just disassociating himself and keep you out of it, because he loves you deeply.

    Did you know that an Elder told me about 6 years ago that between 70-80% of all the young people raised in the organization leave it for good. A small percentage of them return but it is very small. When I heard that as a Mom of three sons I decided right then I would never turn my back on them for leaving. Their Dad forced them into early baptisms, which I was against. They were still my sons and I loved them all. As it turned out 2 of my son's did leave, and one left much the same way as your beloved son Richie. I love all my sons equally, and I hope you won't let the rules get in your way of honoring your son's courage and independence. Love him he is a great kid.


    Ruth Baker or Balsam as they know me here.

  • stillajwexelder
  • FlyingHighNow

    Dear Richie's Mom,

    I have two children aged 27 and 21. I'd be proud for them to follow your son's example. He's absolutely amazing. You, your husband and Richie's granny have done a beautiful and amazing job raising him. He's got moxie. Hold your head up and realize that God has blessed you. He's working through your son. Please recognize this. Also please recognize that Richie has deep concern about the impact of his necessary choices on you and your happiness.

    Heather S.

  • lisaBObeesa

    Dear Richie's Mom: I don't really know Richie personally, but I have read many of his posts. I always read what he has to say because I was raised a JW, too. All I can say is, you must of done something right, because Richie is quite an impressive young man. I remember when I realized that I had two choices: 1) Be myself and live by my beliefs or 2)Be a JW and die inside. I didn't want to die inside. I didn't want to live a lie. But I didn't want to break my mother's heart. The struggle within myself was fierce. But the stuggle wasn't between being a JW or not, it was between living a lie or breaking my mother's heart. I didn't want to hurt her. But I had to go. I had to live my life honestly. I knew that in her heart my mom wouldn't want me to live a lie and niether would Jehovah. Every one of us has to do what we have to do to LIVE our lives and be our honest selves. I am who I am. I am a good person, and I am not a JW. I just AM NOT. Your son is growing up. Almost an adult. He is such a SMART young man!! The stuff he writes is brilliant, fun to read, and always interesting. He writes about how he worries about hurting you. I really relate to that when he says that because that is how I worried. He loves you. But he has to do what he has to do. He is becomming a man now. He is who he is and he is going to do what he is going to do beause he MUST. Please see what a great person he is! Believe in him, trust him, and love him. I do, and I don't even know him in real life, I just read his posts. You are his Mom. He is part of you. Be very proud of your son because he is so brave, strong, and smart. My mom wasn't happy, but she stuck by me, and for that I will be forever grateful. Thank God, because I really needed her. Sincerly, -Lisa

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    I have seen more love and concern displayed here on this one thread, for this one nice young man, than I saw in 43 brainwashed years as a dedicated Jehovah's witness. Tells me I am in the right place, both with God and man to see this.

    To Richie's mom -

    For ten years I shunned my only child [though often with less severity than many witnesses choose] due to her having been disfellowshipped. Now, having also left that faith, and my reasons were those of a sensible, well known and mature man of nearly 50, not those of a teenage rebel. [My daughter was that]. My daughter and I are now close as can be a father and a daughter who was shunned by him for a decade. But we are healing the breach caused by a group of men in Brooklyn who have self-determined the right to define and redefine scripture.

    Some parents never get the chance. Some die, or the child dies, before such healing can happen. Or as Annie said, the healing is limited by the years of chasm that was part and parcel of the Watchtower dogma of shunning. Please consider carefully the long term damage that could result from such a course of action.

    Stay a witness as long as you like - but let your child keep a relationship with you. After all, we as parents encouraged our kids to get baptized long before they were ready for that. How would we like to be held accountable for adult decisions we made as kids? I don't know at what age RR was baptized, nor how much you influenced him to do so at an early age. But why should you punish him for making a decision that was for all practical purposes yours and not his. Perhaps I am wrong in this assumption, maybe you are one of the rare witness parents that did not force him into the baptismal pool too early in life for him to really know what he was doing. If so I apologize for that incorrect assumption. But someone prompted him to make what should be an adult decision, while he was a youngster. How can a mother hold that against her son when he sees that he should not have done so?

    Even the worldly courts understand that decisions made by persons of youth, before the cognitive mind is fully developed to make adult choices, should not carry the same weight of punishment as adults who pursue the same conduct. Will, you be less lenient and fair toward your own flesh and blood than the impersonal courts and judges are to total strangers? Worth thinking about isn't it?

    Mercy is worth more than Righteousness according to scripture.


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