Letter to Ritchie's Mom

by jgnat 48 Replies latest social family

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Dear Momma Richie,

    I have to assume that Richie has some of you in him. Probably more than you're willing to own up to. Someone who thinks as lucidly as he does must have had a role model. Now I know you think he's out there in left field with all this anti organization stuff, but face it... whatever doubts and frustrations you've expressed over the years he has picked up on and amplified. You would do well to listen to that part of you that asks, what am I waiting for? Jehovah isn't the slaughtering being I've had hammered into my head and that elder that is way off base couldn't have been appointed by God's spirit.

    Keep communication open with the kid, you're about the most important person he's got to go to in order to keep him centered. I trust in your love for the big palooka.

    Do what comes natural, Jehovah put it in you.


  • candidlynuts

    dear ritchies mom

    ritchie shows a great maturity and compassion that is missing in a lot of teens AND adults.His concern for you has been present in all his posts. You've done a great job raising him and please know he's a man now and is ready to forge his own path in life. Love him, share with him and be there for him.

    All i can say really is, my grandparents back in the 1920s put careers, education and life aside because the " end" was so near, and they are long dead, my own parents are elderly, they too put education and careers aside because of the urgency of the end, they are elderly and at the end of their life , living hand to mouth and their own kids are now middle aged, and we too put our lives on hold, no education, no careers, waiting for the end, I dont want my kids (who are ritchies age) to put their lives on hold waiting on a fairy tale. Be happy that he wants to live his life and be his own man. He's strong and is going to land on his feet .

    Having a loving parent on his side will just add light to his life, and to yours.

    i wish you both the best.



  • Thegoodgirl

    Richie's mom,

    Your son is there when you need a friend, he's awesome.

    Not selfish, not ever trying to be devious. Always trying to become independent without hurting anyone. Not step on any toes. Basically, through and through a really great person.



    Hi Ritchies's Mom:

    Your son is like a breath of fresh air! He has a terrific personality and I think he will go far in life. It's hard to believe he's 17 yrs old...his wisdom is far beyond his years.

    As a 5th generation JW, the best advice I can offer is: Don't let any organization come between you and your son. Both of my sons left the JW religion in their teens and I don't blame them at all. As a mother I can tell you that no elder or organization was ever going to tell me not to speak or contact or love my own sons! Most animals show more love than that!

    My husband died and I can't tell you what a comfort it was to have them in my life. There is NOTHING that can replace that bond! I found it best not to tell the "friends" at the KH about my relationship with them and no one has ever said a word. It's really none of their business.

    I hope you keep decide to keep your loving relationship with Ritchie and wish your family the best.



  • La Capra
    La Capra

    Dear Mom,

    My situation nearly 20 years ago is similar to RIchie's now. I disassociated myself when I was 19 years old, in 1988. My father is not a Jehovah's Witness, but my mother was, and still is. While I realize that my mother was deeply hurt for a several years after my disassociation, she never shunned me.

    I continued to live at home for several more years while I finished college. And when I moved out to go to graduate school and begin my career, she welcomed my visits, shared meals with me in her home, my home, and restaurants. To this day, when we get on the phone we can talk for hours. We talk about everything except religion. We talk family, we talk politics, we talk clothes, food, health, television, movies, and sometimes we even talk about legitimate family business.

    You see, my mother believes that maintaining familial relationships is family business. My mother believes that sharing meals together is family business. My mother believes that my visits to her, and her visits to me are family business. Maintaining close, loving support for one's family is family business. No one outside your family has any right, or business to judge your continued relationship with your only son. And you would not only be a disgrace to motherhood, but a disgrace to the true meaning of Christian love by excluding Richie from your life, when he leaves your religion.

    If you experience ramifications from the congregation for continuing your relationship with your only child, don't hesitate to invoke the explanation I am sure my mother has resorted to in desperate times: "His father is the head of the house, and he insists I continue to be a mother to our son. Richie's father knows that Richie will always be there for me, and insists that I be there for him." Trust me, Mom, you will be losing far more than a son by cutting Richie out of your life. You will drive an unnecessary wedge into your marriage. It will serve to cast a divide between father and son, and ultimately grandfather and grandchildren should you decide to cut off Richie.

    Don't do it. It isn't necessary. You have an ideal situation. You can blame your unbelieving mate for your continued relationship with your son when the friends in the congregation try to manipulate you, and you can know in your heart that you are conducting the true essence of family business. Love and a common purpose of living happy, productive, intermingled lives.

    And besides, I bet Richie intends to take care of you when the time comes, like I intend to take care of my mom. Who else do you have who will?

    It's ok, Mom. My mom has survived 18 years of my disassociation, and will survive it until she dies of old age. You will survive too.


  • jgnat


  • jgnat


  • Crumpet

    (Thanks for bumping this jgnat as I'd have missed it otherwise.)

    (Sunspot - you made me cry - darn you! You have a PM)

    Dear Richie's Mom

    Richie is incredibly mature (as has been said so many times) has the sharpest wit I have ever encountered, combined with a sweet natured general respect and love for humanity. Well done - he is just a truly remarkable human being - genuinely special - someone I will travel across the Atlantic to meet one day. He is inspiring and destined to be great in whatever he does with his future. You have equipped him to be independent I believe but he cares for you so much that he would not choose early independence unless you forced him too.

    My parents choose the organisation over me when I was 16. I am now 30 years old and have had to spend the last 15 years coming to terms with the loss of my family. I imagine they miss me - but they have each other to comfort one another. I had no one to share my pain with and continue to miss them dreadfully every day. Please don't make your son, your beautiful champion boy suffer an ounce of what I have without rethinking yoru choice from teh bottom of yoru heart and with your real true inner conscience. Examine yourself carefully - reinvestigate what you have accepted as true maybe without thorough examination previously because you trust the information you have been given.

    Please don't miss our on your son the way Sunspot did. I myself am not a mother - I am so afraid of being like my parents - capable of shunning my children for not being what I want them to be - that I have closed my heart off to the possibility. The long term damage of shunning your children is incalculable. I believe Richie will manage and thrive even if you do decide to shun him - that is testament to your upbringing. But he will never thrive with the same joy as he would knowing his mother continues to love and support him as he only wishes to love and support her.


  • wombat

    Yeah Crumpet.....Sunspot really affected me too..I hope this all ends up in a "best of".

  • beezknees

    Dear Ritchie's mum

    so much has been said already but speaking as one mother to another, if you truly believe in Jehovah and that he is a God of love, his love is unconditional and he wouldn't want you to go through the pain of having to shun your son, or bestow that pain on him, that would be a cruel God indeed, watchtower society has changed its standing on issues several times, if in the future they change there stand on this will you be able to get back what you have thrown away? Will you spend the rest of your life regretting missing out on Ritchies happy times..maybe future grandkids etc.It is a credit to your son's love for you and the relationship you have that he is able to make his own desicions and excercise his God given priviledge of free will to decide which path to take in his life, that should be what we want for all our children not for them to live a life of unhappiness to please their parents. Allow him to make that choice freely without condition. You can still have a relationship with your son and worship your God.

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