Meeting Survival Guide – Games to play

by unclebruce 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • unclebruce
    We need to organise a meet up and try it out... we just need a VERY dodgy elder and MS

    I have just our man - brother Neville from Bega congregation™

    oooo I get revelations just be'n in his presence .... snif .... man ...the beast riseth..

  • primitivegenius

    when i got bored i would step outside for some fresh air and go from car to car checking doors............ those left open were fair game. turn radio full volume, windshield wipers on high, if winter then ac blasting summer heater boiling. mirrors twisted outta alignment. i usually found at least three or four cars that were unlocked lol. i only did that a couple of times tho but very entertaining hehehee.

  • primitivegenius

    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh got it............. now i hate to contribute a damn red cent to the bastards. i wish i could get my dollas back but ...................... get as many pennies as possible, k follow me so far? in the middle of the meeting get up and go to the bathroom........................... stop by the controbution box......... start dumping the coins in and keep it going untill everyone is looking back at you hehehe. we had two different boxes at the hall when i was going........ one was made of hardwood and damn loud. one old bastard would do this at least once a month. the people who had to count the money would look at each other and be like F&^% not again. the other box was made of aluminum and about four feet tall and looked to have been made out of 6 or 8 inch pipeing. metal bottom and top. same kind used at our conventions and every penny rattled like hell going down lol. ............. new thread........ what besides money can we put in the contribution boxes for fun,,,,, something gross or discustin

  • EAGLE-1

    WOW!! Now I am really glad I decided to join up with this group.I used to run the sound system and during some songs I would turn up the mic while certain people that COULD NOT sing could be heard loud and clear.One sounded like a sheep 'gettin' nailed by a farmer [not that Ive actually heard that].There were certain sisters that had irritating voices during there little shows [no podium work for them] and I would hike it up for the enjoyment of all.

    I would bring a radio and listen through earphones.People thought I was a real soundman with my rock n roll buzzing my ear.I would just smile.It was easy to hide in there.I could see the entire place.There were a few wordly [fun] books in our library there that I would read and sometimes I would bring my own.It took me about a year to realize they would repeat the same old crap over and over till you felt you were in a Chinese prison.No point in listening to it again.I thought to myself "are these people stupid and unable to remember that they have heard this before".1914-1975 blah blah blah

    Oh and I would think about sex There were about 4 or 5 older than me [I was a teen].I would have these older women fantasies with 20 year olds,I mean they were 4 years older than me.Hey babe lets have a bible study.We could act out the song of solomon.Dress one up like a Jezebel and pump some spirit into her.Whoops I am getting a little carried away...sorry.

    The child beating were a bit much though.Certain kids that got hit real bad I would grab up away from their Nazi parents and take them with me and calm them down.Sometimes I would fantasize about beating their parents non-sexual of course.

    I would thumb through the old testament and look at the sections we never seemed to cover.Lots of boring kill-em-all bs.I would pretend to be 'jehover' and make somebody like the eskimoes the chosen people.You know build an Ice temple for me.Make it a sin to rub noses together.Give them all the frozen wasteland [Jews gotta desert wasteland-how nice] and make it their home.Kill the pagan seals and walrus.Build me an ark out of whalebone and gotta be naked to carry it.Lots of silly rules and stuff.

  • truthsetsonefree

    Oh what one can do with an Internet capable Smartphone. I browse JWD myself.

  • itsallgoodnow

    my favorite things to do...

    going out to the car and driving somewhere. nobody knows.

    sticking "out of order" signs on the bathroom stalls, very hard to do since the cleaning people are always in there

    sticking pages of a book inside my bible so I can read something more entertaining

    listening to music from my tiny little radio in my purse. long hair hides the earphones really well.

    thinking about sex, yeah. that passes the time, too.

  • Nosferatu

    Foil Balls and Gum:
    I used to chew a lot of gum at the meeting. I would always get Spearmint or Doublemint - the ones that come in the foil. I'd take the foil, put it in a ball, and put it in the right pocket of my suit coat. When I got a bunch built up, I'd count it during the meeting (all by feel of course). Also, during the prayer, I'd take the black plugs off the chair in front of me and fill the left side with balls of gum, the right side with foil balls. I would always choose the same seats at the meeting so I could reach my goal of filling the chair. When one chair was full, I'd choose the seats one row back and repeat. I could always tell if the chairs had been moved around if I had filled one side of the chair first and was working on the other.

    Reading Songbooks like a regular book:
    I never really liked singing out loud at the meeting, so I'd usually just mouth the words. However, many times they were the wrong words. I'd read the song from top to bottom like it were a regular book and see if I would be in sync with the rest of the congregation when I got to the last line.

    Mentally Undressing the Sisters:

    Scratch Until I Bleed:
    This was in my more morbid years when I was very depressed. At the convention, I tried scratching the top of my hand until it started bleeding. I still have the scar.

    Count the UMs
    I enjoyed counting how many times my mother would say "um..." in her WT comments, and see if she could break that record. I would also count the UMs that the studdering brother would say when he gave a prayer.

    I'm sure there's other games I played, but I can't remember them right now.

  • unclebruce
    The child beating were a bit much though.Certain ;kids that got hit real bad ;I would grab up away from their Nazi parents ;and take them with me and calm them down.Sometimes I would fantasize about beating their parents non-sexual of course

    Yes, and I have a confession to make. This is probably the most shameful thing I have ever done and one which helped wake me up from the witness haze. One August Sunday in 1983 I was peacefully enjoying the meeting with wife Susan sitting on one side, Amy (2 years old) on the other and the newborn Renee in her mothers arms.

    All was fine till Renee started moaning (news to JW's reading this - even the best babies make a noise at times .. they get colic and cramps and all sorts of aches and pains... like little old people they are .. ). Anyway we got the usual looks and feeling our newborn girl should be taken out and shot. Me being a total idiot grabbed the girl and raced outside smacking her as i went. To his eternal credit and my undying respect my Elder father in law saw this and became outraged .. he chased after me with “did you hit that child!” I told him to butt out which he did.

    This incident haunted and hurt me deeply – I had to decide who I loved most - the family I was creating or the unfeeling self-important snobs at the Kingdom Hall. From that week on I determined not to let the violence of my upbringing visit itself on my own family. No not ever!

    From then on the penny slowly dropped. The society started 'encouraging™' us to arrange social gatherings – I resisted, the push came to auxiliary pioneer™ – I resisted, pressure to reach out™ - I resisted, pressure to be 'regular in field service™' – I resisted.

    My favorite song during this period was Graham Parker's “Passive Resistance” and I used it as an anthem .. that and Dylan's Changing of the guards'.

    Eventually Susan broke down and the only hope I saw was in just packing up the car and driving interstate for a new start.

    So one day, with no goodbyes, we left Adelaide. 22 hours drive across the desert and the four of us arrived in Sydney, tired, alone and with little more than the clothes on our backs. All worked out well, Amy and Renee are everything a father could wish for. Even allowing for parental bias, they are pretty, bright, hard working, intelligent and happy girls.

    I will never forget or forgive the society that drives decent people insane.


  • Dr Jekyll
    Dr Jekyll


    I used to be a victim of those Bible based beatings. I was once at the ministry school and I'd had my leg slapped when the sister behind leaned forward and said to my mum, "Hit him on the head with the bible" And she did!

    It used to really make my blood boil when I saw small ones being beaten at meetings and even today it still gets my back up.

    A couple of weeks ago I was walking through the park when I saw a french bloke out with his little boy of about 5. The kid was really playing up. The man had the kids hand and was shouting at him, then he pulled the kids arm up held him out at arms length and REALLY kicked this kid in the arse. I was horrified, I went up to the bloke and said "Oi how would you like me to do that you you?" With me being a big bloke frenchie slopped off but I'd have loved to have given him a bruised arse like he gave that kid.

  • unclebruce
    the sister behind leaned forward and said to my mum, "Hit him on the head with the bible" And she did!

    Lookout Doc!!

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