Going to the Circuit Ass this weekend

by XBEHERE 37 Replies latest jw friends

    On Friday night, have a coughing fit at bedtime, get up and go into the other room "to get some more medicine." Stay up until 2:30 a.m. watching TV, coughing every few minutes. Say you "just can't sleep."

    Willyloman that is hliarious, unfortunately I cant do that since I think my wife is suspicious of me because I ditched meetings using that method before. Good suggestions though, keep 'em coming.

  • crazyblondeb

    My parents thought I always signed up to help prepare the food--got me out of alot of "sitting time". We'd go outside and do "whatever" and get back in in time to help serve. When I was a teenager, I'd get tonsilitis when it was time for assemblies. Can't fake that. Some "higher power" was helping me out and getting me out of assemblies!

    This was done by someone else--print a bunch of fliers the size of checks and keep putting them in the contribution boxes!!

    Another thing I did was to volunteer to help take care of somone's toddler. Can't help it if he/she started crying when I needed a break!!

    We'd always get busted writing notes. But it was a good idea to get some crosswords or find-a-word. OR take some books of another religion or apostate ones.When you are suppose to look up a scripture, say something like, "Oh, I brought the wrong books again." Hold them up so everyone around you can see them and hear you.

    Good luck and have fun!


  • serendipity

    If u have to go, plan to fake a case of diarhea. Get a small paperpack, put it in your suit pocket and go to the bathroom and read. Of course that means you have to sit on a toilet - but maybe that's better than the alternative?

  • upside/down

    Can't you just claim that you're allergic to life...

    You know... the whole...no flourescent lights, perfumes, synthetic fibers etc. shyte that all the whacko's use to either get attention or be left alone, whichever is more convenient.

    u/d(of the allergic to penicillin and assholes only class)

  • Mary

    Not sure if you've ever seen this, but here's my yearly suggestion on how to keep awake during the ASSemblies. Enjoy!!


  • rebel8

    Can't you find a kid with severe ADHD to babysit for the day? LOL Mary, that was hilarious! How about having a bunch of your friends all wearing black hats, sitting in perfect formation on the floor level that spells out "cult" when you look at them from above? I also liked the suggestion to fake diarrhea. I would rather sit on the toilet all day than in the assembly hall. Hopefully the toilets have seats so you can sit on top of them! Of course you'd have the Assembly Stench to deal with (blended aroma of BO, dirty diapers, and cheap cologne),so bring nose plugs. Or you could just get some Halloween makeup to make yourself look kinda green, and moan a lot while running out of the assembly hall. Cover your mouth and keep yelling, "Oh! I'm gonna be sick!" Extra points if you spray yourself with fart spray, cover your back end, pretending you're about to have a bout of diarrhea! I hope you're gonna give them some nice donations: http://www.dannyhaszard.com/checksforWT.htm

  • ackack

    Print out some sudokus? Bring a book?


  • Justitia Themis
    Justitia Themis

    Why not attempt to be positive. Regardless of the speaker, the scriptures being read are still God's word.

  • willyloman
    Why not attempt to be positive. Regardless of the speaker, the scriptures being read are still God's word.

    Justitia: welcome to the board!

    In response: It's not the scriptures, dude, it's the stuff they feed you between scriptures that will kill you.

  • serendipity

    Hi Justitia, welcome to the forum!

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