Disposable People

by MerryMagdalene 57 Replies latest jw friends

  • MinisterAmos

    As far as the Dubs go, they DO dispose of the annointed (even though they are "righteous") from time to time. Threw Franz' ass right off the GB!

    I don't have a lot of exposure to the Dubz, but I will tell you that I would NEVER let one of my children be influenced by them. Their tactics are well-planned and designed to do as much human damage as possible through guilt and loss.

    You are a perfect example of their wickedness

  • Fleur

    Oh, man. Your post brings back so many memories to me of days when I felt like I must be worthless if my family thought I was worthless.

    Then I realized the scale on which they measure 'worth' is totally out of whack with the rest of the universe...with what is sane, reasonable, and honorable. Throwing people away like trash is a horrific practice, in the end I discovered that shunning has actually protected me from JW relatives who had bad motives as far as their relationship with me anyway; I gave, they used. When I stopped giving to the Borg, they got angry. The longer I stay out, the angrier they get, the more they rage, and the more they lose.

    I remember telling my older sister when she decided to shun me fully on instruction from her elder husband that she would miss me more than I would miss her. And it's been true.

    After awhile, I realized that the people who would throw me away so quickly were the ones of questionable worth.

    Seek out a family of your own making, dear heart. Find where you really belong, and with whom (and I don't mean seeking romance, if you're single) build a network, and revel in love that really is love; for who you are, with no strings attached.

    Hoping this makes sense...brain fog today.

    hugs and understanding,


  • Rabbit


    It must be 'something in the air'...or more likely the pollution, the "scum" that floated downsteam recently from the WT's printing factories. Their recent magazines push to re-demonize 'apostates' -- just in case any weak JW's needed to be 'reminded.'

    I'm sorry your own Mom could treat you that way. Even if she thinks it's some kind of spiritual 'tough love'...I agree with you it has to be tough on her, too. It's not natural or normal. It goes against every parental instinct.

    I really liked what you said and the way you said it. You actually put into words, very well, feelings I have had for a long time about my shunning and 'how' to deal with it. Learning to accept this kind of treatment is the hardest thing to do and it's painful. I'm glad you've gotten to where you are now.

    My kids all shun me now. One of them hasn't shunned me for over a year, until New Years Day. I am marked, not DF.

    Apparently, the other JW family members would feel 'uncomfortable' associating with her, if she had any dealings with me. They threatened to "...not come over..." if she welcomed me there, too.

    It's 'suspected'...since I've been inactive so long, I might be an 'apostate.' Go figure that one !

    Thank you for sharing all this with us. Seeing how others deal with the WT's in a positive way helps all of us know it's possible to survive it.

    You are a very good writer, btw.


  • jgnat

    Yeah, the WTBTS reinforces this thinking at every turn. My JW hubby read aloud the daily reading (last week?) where it compares humans to GRASS and GRASSHOPPERS. The paragraph goes on to ask the rhetorical question, "Is any one grasshopper any more important than any other? Is it important if one insignificant blade of grass is longer than it's brothers?"

    If I remember right, the DAYS OF OUR LIFE are compared as grass; short, green, and quickly fade away. It's not like GOD sees as a massive LAWN to be cropped down to SIZE.

  • Emma

    Merry, I'm touched that you looked up my bio; I don't post a lot but I try to keep up with what happening on the forum.

    Thanks for starting this topic; I think so many of us feel disposable and have experienced feelings of worthlesness. It's encouraging to see so many of us breaking through all that.


  • MerryMagdalene

    It makes very good sense, Essie. I appreciate your thoughts on this and your experience.

    But still I bought my mom a gift and tucked a note inside just to let her know that she will always have a place in my heart that no one else can fill. I happen to know that being rejected by those she loves is what she fears the most and is the thing that hurts her most (oh the irony indeed, eh tij?), so I'm letting her know that I'm not rejecting her. But I have also let her know (in the past) that she can't shun me and still expect to have a normal relationship with my daughter either.

    That's really harsh what you are going through, Rabbit. ((((hugs from one shunnee to another)))) I've often said I can't imagine ever shunning my daughter, but realize now that it never even crossed my mind to wonder what it be like to have her shun me. I'm sorry our loved ones are succumbing to the increased pressure from HQ. This makes me think of Ian/Dansk's situation too.

    Jgnat, I can only hope that the "beatings" encouragement from the evil faithful slave will eventually cause our grasshoppers to wake up and the blades of grass to shout "don't tread on me"...or that something will.

    I think so many of us feel disposable and have experienced feelings of worthlesness. It's encouraging to see so many of us breaking through all that.


    And MinisterAmos, I don't know why but I loved this:

    You are a perfect example of their wickedness

    It made me laugh and hold my head just a little bit higher, feeling inexplicably proud and...saucy


  • Narkissos


    I know you were not fishing for compliments but I'm sure all the compliments you got were well deserved. I only know you through the words you write and I love everyone of them.

    Disposable? Objectively I'm afraid we are. My late father used to say "Cemeteries are full of indispensable people."

    Only love makes the difference, revealing the irreplaceable uniqueness of this face, smile, skin, voice...

    Any "greater" cause, value, idea, opinion, estranges us from this subjective, intimate and lowly revelation.

    The JW "truth," as usual, raises that to the level of caricature. Even love has to be "principled," that is, practically, switched on or off according to the most silly rules.

    I'm sorry for what you and so many others are going through.

    The good news of pain is that we are still sensitive. Alive.

    Take care.

  • wednesday

    Merry, Our familes have done this sort of thing to us. If they think we care it gives them power. Imagine how dysfunctional that is? The more you have a life independent of them, the less it will hurt.. It will always hurt to some degree, but your friends that will help with this loss. You are worthwhile. See how many of us care enough to reply? Imagine all the lurkers who are reading and thinking they feel the same way. I always read your posts.. We need to all remember to tell each other how important we are to each other.

    Joelbear, You are an important part of this community. I like your suggestions They help me to . keep putting one foot in front of the other and just keep moving forward. . That is all any of us can do each day, is get up, live our lives, and hopefully help another person. Today you and Merry have helped many people.

    There is a movie called " Used People".It is worth seeing. . rent it at blockbusters.

  • IronClaw

    ((((((( MERRY MERRY )))))))

    I wish I were there in person to give ya a big hug.

    You are worth more to more people here than you can imagine. As Seven006 said in his last posting: This is a community and we are the only ones who give a shit. I couldn't of said it better than he did. We are a cummunity that cares for each other no matter what. We hold no reservations. I have enjoyed this board so much since finding it, I cant begin to tell you. The wisdom here is 2nd to none. I have enjoyed and believe I will continue to enjoy your posts Merry. You are part of what makes this board tick. We are family here. Unlike the Borg, we have uncondional love here for everyone. Never let the WT get the victory over you. Thats how they try to keep people in mind control. I have lost all my so-called friends. But thats ok, cause its just one more proof I have that its not Gods chosen org. Now I have new friends like yourself and many others who accept me for who I am, not what I am. Without the input of people like yourself and others here, there is no Forum.

    The Claw.

  • mcsemike

    Merry, I don't know you well and just started posting here recently. Please don't feel worthless. You are loved. And I mean this sincerely, you ARE a beautiful person. Don't lose hope. I almost did and I somehow got past it. Hang in there. It does get better.

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