Sorry to hear your account, and hope the funeral is not too stressful for you today.
You would think that JW relatives could let down their cult wall at least for a funeral, what a barbaric religion.
Guess I'm Going to the K. Hall on Saturday
by bavman 55 Replies latest members private
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jwfacts
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bavman
Ah yes, Saturday has come and almost gone and I am still surviving. I had no idea what to expect seeing people I hadn't seen since I had Da'd myself. My girlfriend and my son met my sister, her husband, and new baby before the funeral for lunch. A nice festive mexican place where we went through a pitcher of margaritas. We had a great time and then headed for the hall.
The first thing I noticed when we arrived was the entry way was filled with my relatives, mostly my immediate family and some cousins and uncles. My older brother who is an elder had a noticable tear in his eye when he saw me and we hugged and said a few words. Mostly small talk of course. I was greeted by other relatives who were not witnesses including my disfellowshipped uncle. Then my mom saw me and she immediately started crying, we hugged, she stepped aside without saying much and kept crying. My elder dad and I hugged as well and did some small talk. I had a witness aunt come up next who couldn't say a word to me but just sort of clung to me for what felt like the longest time and sobbed. I saw many witnesses I use to know who did double takes after seeing me. The reaction was all across the board from looking pissed to ignoring me to getting teary. These same people were simply sad or pleasant to my df'd sister, I definitely got a little different reaction being that I da'd myself. In all though I felt it went rather well. It was the typical witness funeral outline where they "advertise, advertise, advertise". Even my girlfriend said later, 'I was surprised...well, maybe not really, but that was more of a sermon than a funeral talk. I found it very impersonal." I explained how it was the same outline for every funeral with the name of the deseased being all that is really different. It is simply another opportunity to "witness". I was pleasantly surprised though to hear them read off the names of all the sons, daughters, grandkids and so forth, my name included in the list read. There was addulation given in the talk about my uncle the circuit overseer and the two 'brothers' who first called on my grandmother. The speaker even mentioned one of those men was there at the hall. I found this amusing because this person has since stopped going to meetings after being deleted as elder/city overseer of a major Wisconsin city. There was an announcement about how all were invited to a meal afterwards which I smiled about as well because of course not all were 'really' invited.
Afterwards, the coldness started, no one really knowing what to say and my dad thanked me for coming but excused himself to talk to someone else. I decided it was time to round up my son and head out. My duty was done and I was ready to head for the door. I got hung up at the back of the hall and stood close to a "brother" I knew all my life growing up. We didn't say anything but I smiled at him for awhile. Finally, he said to me, 'I am sorry for your' loss pal'. I put my arm around him and said, 'nice to see you buddy'. With that the doorway opened up and we were out of there.
I found that I am well along in my recovery from dudbdom because through all the scriptures and crying and guilt-tripping I didn't feel any guilt. I was at peace and able to be myself. I felt some sadness of course including my grandmother passing but mostly I felt amazed watching all of them. I really have to say I feel sorry for them . They are missing out. How unnatural and sad it must be to shun people you love. Yet they act powerless because of how brainwashed they are. How sad it is that 50 years ago my grandmother thought she found the truth that would soon lead her and her family to paradise. Many of the same 'players' if you will are still hoping for this after all this time and so many of them have lost so many family and friends along the way.
What a strange and exhausting day! How happy I am not to be brainwashed anymore... -
sass_my_frass
Condolences on your loss, and big condolences on the games they play.
It's the only scenario I fear now; I realise I probably won't know the next time a sibling has a baby, or gets married, or gets sick, and they're so loveless that I don't care as I don't want that kind of poison stealing my joy in life... but somebody will send me a phone text or email when one of them dies, only because they know how bad they'd look to the non-witness relatives if they didn't tell me.
It's my non-witness grandparents, who I love a lot and rarely see, but whose lights are fading. When it happens, they're going to hate me for 'spoiling the funeral for them', and I'll be traumatised by their insanity against me.
Anyway back to you... sorry about the shock, and for what's to come. Keep it together!
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xjwms
Glad it all went well for you.
It made me feel good to see, ... your attitude toward the whole thing.
Family is who you make it.
Thanks
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Mastodon
Thanks for the update. I lost my grandma last year and I do feel sorry for your loss. I also feel happy for you, in that you went and came, with no fear and no guilt. Congratulations for that!
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luna2
Sounds like you made the best of what you had to work with and made it through the day very well. It's great that you felt like you could be yourself and didn't feel any guilt. You're right, they are the ones living under a cloud. They truly are to be pitied.