The Good News and Bad News (Brace yourselves; cause it is bad)

by stillAwitness 57 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Lilycurly

    Atypical, I was also going for Pig Latin....I guess it's fitting enough for the WT. Other appropriate choices would be "Red Neck", "HillBilly", hey, why not "Sindarin", that way Elves could read it too.;P

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    I wonder what the new language could be?

    Not without good reason do many believe the new language will be "Perl-Before-Pig-Latin."

    intpray "Monitorwaying Wolrdwide Apostacy";

    ilewhay otnay (ethay endway) {
    @atstay = atstay("$ilefay");
    $otifynay = inway32::angechay otifynay->new($irectorwayyday,0,'IZESAY')
    orway die "eternally";
    $otifynay->aitway orway arnway "Nothing happened!: $!\n";

    @atstay = atstay($ilefay);

    # Did the doctrine change?
    if ($eginsizebay != $endsizeway) {
    print "Some brothers...\n";

    open (ExcuseCache, $ilefay);
    undef $/;
    close ExcuseCache;

    $excuse =~ m/.*prophecy failed:.*?pid=(\d+).*?\s+\1\s(.*?)\n/s;
    $pid = $1;
    $app = $2;
    print "These are god's dates, not ours $app (PID $pid)\n";

    # Send notification
    %mail = (To => $to,
    From => $from,
    Subject => "New Light",
    Message => "$The chariot moves ahead! $app."
    sendmail(%mail) orway die $Mail::Sendmail::errorway;
    print "Notification sent\n", $Mail::Sendmail::log;

    # orway, send a page
    $snpp = Net::SNPP->new($pagerhost); #
    $snpp->send (Pager => $pager, #
    Message => "$New Light: $app" #
    ); #

    print "Article sent to press.\n"; #
    } # End if

    } # Wend

    It is the Society's first foray into rendering their publications in computer-execuatable-code.

    "Infinite loops that lead to everlasting life."

  • Virgogirl

    Spanglish! "Vamos, tu y Yo, preachin in the barrio!"

  • jgnat

    Honestly, truly, the Wycliffe bible translators are working on providing a bible in Plautdietsch , a language still spoken here in Alberta.

    There are at least 2,737 languages where there is no translation of the bible in their language.

    In 2004,

  • new language programs begun in Bibleless language communities worldwide: 356 (93 in 2004) since start of Vision 2025 (Oct 1999): 306 of those were with Wycliffe involvement (82 in 2004)
  • 2 Bibles;
  • 6 New Testaments;
  • 13 the JESUS film scripts;
  • 16 video scripts featuring the Gospel of Luke;
  • 3 video scripts featuring Genesis.
  • bem

    StillA, Thats too funny

    "Sup? My name be StillA and I'm here wit my dawg Susan. We's in da hood wit da latest watctower ya know? It's all good we's got it in your language fool! Just leave us a few bills nah mean? And we be back next weekend. Holla, g! Fa shizzle!"


  • bebu

    152 languages? After 125+ years? Well, for a magazine that's impressive. But why not try to get the BIBLE out into people's hands first, if they are so interested in promoting the Word of God? Seems they are more interested in promoting themselves.

    Since 1979, the 2-hour Jesus film has been putting out the film in languages all over the world.

    Compare the stats here, and think about whether God is really blessing the WTS afterall, if one is going to focus on statistics to demonstrate it.

    Official Ministry Statistics--October 1, 2005
    Translation Progress
    "JESUS" film translations completed:899
    Translations available in audio version only:15
    Total number of different languages:914
    "JESUS" film translations in process:238
    "The Story of Jesus" audio translations completed:360
    "The Story of Jesus for Children" video translations completed:100
    Distribution Totals Since 1979
    "JESUS" film prints put into circulation (8mm, 16mm, 35mm):16,327
    "JESUS" videocassettes, DVDs, VCDs in circulation:42,473,516
    "The Story of Jesus" audiocassettes in circulation:13,235,589
    "The Story of Jesus for Children" videocassettes in circulation:775,746
    V iewing Audience of the "JESUS" Film 1
    Viewing audience of the film since 1979:5,412,055,777
    Indicated decisions for Christ as a result of the film: 2201,222,001
    Countries in which the film has been shown: 228
    Countries where the film has been seen on television:176
    Listening Audience of "The Story of Jesus" Audio Version
    Radio listeners:447,074,422
    Audiocassette listeners: 177,532,030
    Cumulative Viewing and Listening Audience:6,036,662,229
    Film Teams
    JESUS Film Project teams:2,419
    Countries where JESUS Film Project-sponsored teams operate:106
    Team personnel: 34,966
    Denominations and mission agencies using the film:1,539

    ...Through use by The JESUS Film Project, and more than 1,500 Christian agencies, this powerful film has had more than 5 billion viewings worldwide since 1979. On top of that, the great majority of those heard the story of Jesus in a language they easily understand.

    As a result, more than 197 million people have indicated decisions to accept Christ as their personal Savior and Lord.

    As far as efficiency goes, the Jesus film (The Gospel of Luke) beats the JWs handsdown. 125+ years with a return of 6 million today (WTS), vs. 27 years with a return of 197 million (Jesus film).

    Wanna watch the film online? (FREE?) Click this link and choose your language... Hundreds to choose from there, too:


  • ferret

    Bad news means a lot more wt sitting in someones living room in a foriegn country, like about

    50% or more of them do in the other 151 countries.

  • acsot
    If you go onto Google, and select 'preferences' you can change the language to Klingon, then you can change it to loads of different weird languages. Its hilarious, and it wastes a whole afternoon if you work in an office!

    I just tried Elmer Fudd - I almost choked laughing so hard!

  • stillAwitness

    You know, I really did save a bunch of money on my car insurance people!

  • skyman

    It was red neck the new language

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