Do you feel 'Disconnected' since leaving the borg?

by AK - Jeff 30 Replies latest jw friends

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  AK - Jeff

  I mean - many of us had a history that was exclusively in the 'Truth'. Nothing else.

  Now having left, do you long for a discussion with some who share your past culture, understandings, and lifestyle?

  Is that the 'appeal' of this board to many? A connection with past thinking and history? Kind of like meeting those who lived in you hometown as a kid - or who went to your high school.

  Our past life is like a sail that got us where we are in life. Now that we cut the sail - seeing that we were on a dead headed course for nowhere - is it like we have no history - like a blank page has been inserted in our biographies?

  Thoughts?

  Jeff
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  Satanus

  Yup, it's like i just started to exist since i left the wt. There were also a few yrs of childhood, before the wt cloud enveloped me.

  S
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  joelbear

  i felt disconnected when i was a witness and that disconnected feeling continues with me to this day.

  i've never found "my crowd" but am determined to look harder than ever for it.
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  Ellie

  Yes I do feel some what disconnected, not just because of the watchtower though, having moved around so much I've lost contact with a lot of people from the past, but friendsreunited is a great site.
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  KimKat

  Yes, it is getting less and less as time moves on - but it is still hard to

  relate to others without the same background. Like when you tell someone

  that you have no family that will talk or contact you - they really don't understand.

  They look at you like you are crazy. I just rarely mention my past to others now -

  so it is a relief to find this site and feel I can express my feelings openly. (to the most part)

  KimKat
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  Woodsman

  I'm having trouble making new friends. My wife is still a witness so this holds me back. Its hard to get her to make new friends because she just wants to hang with the JWs.

  I can and have done things with other guys who share my hobbies but if it doesn't progress to getting the wives together and all making plans together it is not the same as what things were like when I was a witness.

  When we go to a witness gathering or have them here I just feel out of place. Like I'm doing something for my wife and thats it.

  She probably feels the same when I get her to go to a nonwitness gathering. This is definetly going to be a challenge.
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  juni

  Somewhat. Had a lot of friends in org. I am curious how they are doing and how their families are growing. But before I DA myself I wasn't talked to just because I wasn't at the meetings. I thought they might have changed their policies and I was already DF!!

  Have made new friends and I do agree w/whoever wrote that there is a difference between aquaintances and true friends. Takes time to differentiate. Juni~~~~~~~~
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  Axelspeed

  is it like we have no history - like a blank page has been inserted in our biographies

  Absolutely. This becomes even more evident when filling out an application, and it ask for personal references...and sadly, none are available. Its like, don't you know anybody?

  This becomes more of an issue when compounded with the hardships in creating new relationships.

  Axel
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  Van Gogh

  Yep, "disconnected" all the way round. But not just after leaving.

  I never really felt "connected" in the troof either. Always was some sort of a sideliner and onlooker.

  As a sound boy at about 12 years old in the early seventies, I remember having to turn the sound on and off depending on whether someone was actually speaking into the roving mike. As I was "mentally detached" during most of the meeting, I would frequently make an ass of myself by forgetting to turn the sound on when someone was answering up. Never moved much beyond that level. They never trusted me with anything but the mags and the mikes.

  In the eighties I faded when I took a job involving international travel. I married a worldly and went to university. Of course I could never feel really "connected" to any of those things/people. For some reason - must have been the constant fear of Armageddon - I came back in "from the cold" in the early nineties. Of course, soon after, my wife decided to "disconnect" from me as well...permanently.

  I actually managed to "connect" for a couple of years as I evidently was a promising prospect for most of the elders who had an obvious fascination for a university educated repenter. Still a publisher, I was starting to be groomed for the HLC and actually did some small assignments for Bethel on the blood issue for crying out loud.

  It was the close friendships with those elders, however, that "disconnected" me again - onto the dead-end R&F path of WTS nowhere land: The elders hated each other bitterly and I got caught up as a pawn in the ensuing palace revolution when I sided with the one that got the axe. I had again managed to effectively "disconnect" into pariah status.

  I suffer from Permanent Disconnection Syndrome of course even now, but somehow, I have started sensing a level of "connection" to some things on a level I never experienced before.

  Theo
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  fullofdoubtnow

  Yes, I do feel that way. I wasn't brought up as a jw, but after spending over half my life in the wts I've lost touch with all but a couple of the friends I had in my teenage years, and the two I still know I very rarely see, they probably don't even know I've left yet, though I did send them both a Christmas card. My work colleagues are a lot friendlier now, they know I'm not going to preach to them anymore, and most of my near neighbours know I've left as well, so they don't try to avoid me now, but it still feels a little strange not to have that structured lifestyle that I had in the wts anymore.