why cant they see how cruel they are??
Actually I totally got the irony
tijkmo...of the 'do you not realise the i in tijkmo stands for irony' class
Not a lot of people appreciate irony Tij...or recognise it when they see it....(I seem to remember you and I having online words back in the early days in similar circumstances ). I do agree with mrsjones however in that all experiences are as valid as each other when it comes to exposure to the JW way of life baptised or not.
You're heartless, self-righteous, and rude
Mrsjones I think whilst he might have appeared as you describe I do know that Tij wouldnt intentionally have set out to express self righteousness rudeness or insensitivity, in my view hes just not that sorta guy. Its easy online to get the wrong end of the stick, or express a view and it all come out wrong; being blunt I think thats whats happened here.
God i feel so bad forstarting this thread!
Dont you dare Cordelia honey! *wags finger*
no you mustnt feel bad for expressing how you feel...or you wont tell us when you are struggling in the future..and we wont be able to help..which is what we all want to do..just have different ways of doing it is all...
people will continue to give you their opinions on what you should do...i guess most will tell you what worked for them...and hopefully some of what they say will work for you too..
thanks you two, now you should go and have a coffee together
i keep finding things hard because my dad keeps crying and keeps asking me the same question over and over again ie. are u seeing the boy or not? and i say yes and that hurts him so much and then the boyfriend is a complete heartless immature prick and i wonder WHAT THE HELL I AM DOING?
Q: Why just because i am dfed (march) can my family and all the friends ive ever known tell me i am dead to them?
A: Because people can do stupid things. Your family is stupid to cut you off. You have my permission to tell them so. There’s also consequences, though, which they often forget.
Q. why have i missed two important family weddings and been told i ruined them coz everyone was upset?
A. You missed them because you were told to stay away, no? Then how in the heck can they call that your fault? You have my permission to tell them you have no problem coming to all family events in the future. “So that nobody gets upset.”
Q. why if ihave tried to please them and tried once to get reinstated and now finally felt i have to be true to myself have i caused such pain all over again?
A. Because picking at a scab hurts. Healing comes later.
Q. ive just come off the phone and after making all my stands to my dad my mum just told me how the only thing i can do is go to all the meetings its 'the ONLY way to return to jehovah' why do they not listen to what i say?
A. Because they are used to you changing your mind. They probably figure they can out-wait you. You can’t keep people from doing stupid things.
Q. why if i say thats it, the bf is living with me would i have to lose them (and they veiw it as achoice between him and them!)
A. Their view, misguided, but they are free people and can be as stupid as they want.
Q. why do i bascally have two choices 1 to be with the bf and destroy them and have all contact cut off when my dads ill? and 2 go to all the meetings lose the bf but have the love of my family again
This is a false dilemma, I’ll help you break it out.
1. You will not destroy them by being with your boyfriend. You will hurt them deeply. People recover from being hurt deeply. The consequence is not as bad as they make out.
2. You are not cutting off contact, they are. Their choice, their consequence.
3. You did not make your dad ill. This is not your fault and would have happened either way.
4. You will never have the love you yearn for by going back. You will have attention, but real love means setting you free. Your family wants you caged, wings clipped.
Q. AND WHY DO THEY SAY I HAVE NO CHOICE??
A. Because they want you to feel bad. They want to share the pain. Is it working? It’s okay to cry over what is lost. But don’t think you can regain what you once hat.
I’ll give you a glimmer of hope. THE BEST OUTCOME, which they failed to mention, is that THEY RECONCILE THEMSELVES to your new life. They may start contact just to keep in touch with their beloved grandchild. But eventually, their natural desire to have the attention and love of their daughter wins out, and they accept the new situation. You keep your freedom, they keep their daughter.
I know its hard babe my folks havnt spoken to me for months coz i married a "worldly" guy. Im happy tho and i know i made the right choice i have to live my life the way i want to , if you dont its a waste
big hugs babe