D'Fing and Love

by I-CH-TH-U-S 73 Replies latest jw friends

  • Cognitive_Dissident

    I think that's exactly why. If someone said to me - "All right, here are the major things that we believe, and oh, by the way, after you're baptized, if you screw up and do something you're not supposed to and subsequently don't think it's as big a deal as we think you ought to, you're going to get kicked out and none of your new friends who were so elated that you got baptized in the first place will talk to you." - I'd probably run away, too.

  • I-CH-TH-U-S

    They have to make a judgment as to whether a person is repentent and they have to follow WTS guidelines

    anyone know what this is?

  • Cognitive_Dissident

    edited: accidentally posted it twice.


  • anewme

    I'm sorry, I did say "sometimes the brothers have no recourse but to disfellowship..."
    That statement may be in error.

    No recourse but to disfellowship is certainly not true in the case of repentance.

    I guess I was thinking that the brothers had counseled someone before maybe several times and taken away privileges and on the JC it was found that the person was still sinning.

    I was thinking of my own case.

    But maybe the truth why I was dfd was that I was not repentant at the time of my JC.

    I'm truly sorry for posting an inaccuracy.

    I was never an elder, just a think she knows it all sister.


  • sammielee24
    If you voluntarily join any organization, be it a golf club, a political party, or a religion and you flagrantly flout ITS rules, then you would expect some discipline, even being expelled, disfellowshipped. You have to have some disciplinary procedures in place. Disfellowshipping..in my opinion, is a biblical concept.

    I absolutely agree with another post in that a person who is raised in the society has not volunteered his life to the organization - that was a decision made for him. The mindset of the society is control over its members and those members are parents who control their children by the WTBS guidelines of inclusion. When a child grows up in fear of living or getting close to other people because they will not survive Armaggedon - that imposes a barrier in that child that may last with them a lifetime. That control includes isolation from the world and the abilitity to judge all people in the world as having less value so that if those witness children are cast off as adults they often suffer years of depression, guilt and loneliness - not to mention an abject fear of death, demons and destruction at having to live in a world they have been taught is governed by Satan.

    We should also recognize that everyone in the same society MAY NOT know all the rules and thus do not realize that they are flagrantly flouting them until they are called upon for reproval or counsel. If honesty were a policy inside the society and lying were not an accepted practice within the organization, then all laws of the Watchtower would be written and available upfront for all members of every one of the congregations, as well as those honest and open minded individuals they seek to save. Disfellowshipping and shunning is not understood by many people outside the organization as most people tend to think of it as simply being removed from the church and not from their own family. It is not until they are baptized and tied at the hip that they fully comprehend what can happen to them thus there are many who will remain long after they believe this is not the truth - because of fear of loss is so great. If people were told at the outset that in the event they challenged one simple rule (and the list is long) on the WTBTS list, they could be removed from their families - they may never speak to their parents, sisters, brothers, grandparents, children; they will not attend their family weddings or funerals; they may not attend their children while they lay ill; they may lose their job and quite possibly they will not have an association with any single person they know - then most would walk away. These things are NOT discussed with all honesty while a person studies, therefore making a decision based on the reality of what can and does happen is impossible. SW.

  • jaffacake

    They describe D/fing as scriptural, but their are apparent paradoxes and contradictions throughout Scriptures, and need to understand their true meaning. There are also Scriptures against disfellowshiping. My thoughts are:

    If this is a Christian organisation, why since the 1930s has the main emphasis been on Pre-Christian scriptures, no longer Christian Scriptures.

    A careful study reveals that disfellowshiping was not done for single acts of wrongdoing, but only for repeated and serious wrongdoing.

    Why is the religion not Christ-centred, as it was before Rutherford's apostacy?

    Matthew 5:43-48
    43 “YOU heard that it was said, ‘You must love your neighbour and hate your enemy.’ 44 However, I say to YOU: Continue to love YOUR enemies and to pray for those persecuting YOU; 45 that YOU may prove yourselves sons of YOUR Father who is in the heavens , since he makes his sun rise upon wicked people and good and makes it rain upon righteous people and unrighteous. 46 For if YOU love those loving YOU, what reward do YOU have? Are not also the tax collectors doing the same thing? 47 And if YOU greet YOUR brothers only, what extraordinary thing are YOU doing? Are not also the people of the nations doing the same thing?

  • jwfacts

    D/F and love do not belong in the same sentence because JWs do not practice D/F in line with bible guidelines.

    The context of d/f is to stop socialising with practicers of bad in order to not end up practicing their bad ways. This does not mean they are to be totally ignored at the KH. It is only the Antichrist as referred to at 1 John where the idea is given not to even greet the person. There is wisdom in totally stopping talking to a person that is only intent on tearing down a persons faith.

    However the bible does not say a person not associating as a 'brother' must be ignored for life by friends and family. It is this going past the scriptural guidance that makes the WTS a high control group rather than practicers of Christianity.


  • anewme

    Today I went to the KH.

    I got there just as the announcement was made to take our seats.

    They allow me to sit anywhere.

    Sometimes I sit in front, sometimes on the side, sometimes in back.

    I needed a Watchtower and so approached an elder for one. He went and got me one.

    The talk was ok, not great. I bring along a notepad to take notes.

    I sing for all to hear. (I asked if I was allowed to sing being dfd. This P.O encourages dfd people to sing for all your worth)

    The Watchtower on the 23 Psalm was very nice. I really enjoyed the paragraph on what "whole-souled service" means. What is whole souled for one is not for another. Each persons whole souled service is different. Being that I am older now and a "burn out" emotionally after getting dfd I have been agonizing about jumping back into the rat race of being an active witness again.
    This paragraph assured me I can get involved at my own pace. We'll see.

    Afterwards I met with some brothers in the library to discuss the two letters I've written to the body of elders. I was introduced to the brothers as a dfd person requesting reinstatement. Unfortunately a key brother was not present and one brother suggested I meet again on next Tues. evening.
    (This comment immediately sent shock waves to my system as my new husband does not want me on those lonely mountain roads at night and I do not want to attend all the meetings right now)
    But the P.O broke in that "the sister's husband does not permit her to drive at night on the mountain roads. We'll have to meet on a Sunday." They agreed, next Sunday to meet with me.

    Whew!I was so relieved by the comment from the P.O.!
    He has treated me so very well since the first day I walked into this new KH.

    I am so grateful for this fair treatment by this hall. No weird treatment. Smiles, waves, handshakes by a sweet retarded brother. An older brother who doesnt know what is going on always gives me a big wave.
    The brothers hold doors for me etc.
    I dress modestly and smell nice and carry a book bag. I look like a sister.
    so far so good.

    I write this not to deny any of the posts I've read here about the treatment others have received.
    I know its true that many have been mistreated and abused by the org. and the elders in particular.
    I have been getting pms from many who report a wide variety of treatment.
    I am merely reporting to you all what I am going through honestly.
    There is much about the meetings I enjoy.
    I like the respectful review of the scriptures and the thoughtful discussions full of scriptural citations. Some churches wrap a whole sermon around one or two scriptures!

    Anyway, call me crazy. Call me a coward. Call me cognitive dissonant. I'm doing this but I can always bail.

    I'm only one rung from the bottom. Cant fall too far!

  • Finally-Free
    I like the respectful review of the scriptures and the thoughtful discussions full of scriptural citations. Some churches wrap a whole sermon around one or two scriptures!

    There's a difference between an informative discussion about a scripture versus using many scriptures from different parts of the bible to support the speaker's theme. Using scriptures, taken out of context, as proof texts can enable a speaker to promote all sorts of unscriptural ideas.


  • anewme

    Yeah? Well you get alot more scriptures at a KH than any other church.
    And thats what I'm there for...to hear Gods word, not some guy's words.

    God's words have power!

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