CYP
You must have secretly been in the truth for YEARS, your insight is far too good, I was in for 20 years and didnt see it for what it was ...............why?
Defd why dont you stop going to the meetings for a month and see how you feel !!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can still be faithful to Jehovah and Jesus, go on give it a try, I think you will be surprised at how you feel ( happier) for a start AND you may be surprised how your relationship with Jehovah and Jesus will get better.