New & Anxious

SecretHeart11

Hello everyone. I am "new" here. I've lurked for over a year but only recently found the courage to join and post. I am still "in". I am married to a JW who is very irregular but still believes it 100%. I had a very close family member leave a couple years ago which made the abstract idea of justifiable shunning seem less loving and more unchristian. Then I started seeing thing differently. A friend who was a spiritual 'mentor', an elder & pioneer, left suddenly. I stumbled onto "apostate" websites and with my heart thumping through my chest started reading... And realized why it was such a danger to read. It wasn't because it was such mentally diseased writing, it was because a lot of it was truth. Logical. LOVING. Then I read Ray Franz's books. And my heart sank even deeper. I KNEW I was living a lie. My conscience bothers me every day for still being in. But I'm terrified of losing my husband and my family. I have quite a bit of worldly family , but don't want to lose my mom or my husband. It's a struggle every day.

I have two young children who I don't want getting baptized. It's funny, I used to worry they would never accept the "truth" but now I'm terrified they will! I've tried subtly poking holes in doctrines with my husband but he's so deeply trained that he spouts all the stock answers.

Somedays I wish I could unknown all this truth. Or that my mother would never had opened the door that day and accepted a study. And others I want to march into the Hall and let them know my conscience won't allow me a moment more in this organization.

...

I will ill write more later, I just wanted to get the first post out of my system before I lost my nerve.

Thanks to everyone.

Hortensia

Hi! Glad to hear you are thinking and searching. Try to take it easy, proceed slowly with your husband. You'll get lots of advice from some very wise people here, and I'm sure it will help you a lot. Welcome, and don't be afraid to post here, ask questions, discuss what is on your mind.

smiddy

Welcome SH11 , taking your first step to freedom .We have all been their , the apprehension of taking that first step to post. It just shows you how effective cult indoctrination is . But once you know the TTATT , their is no turning back , and why would you . Use whatever excuse you can think of to delay your children getting baptised .Their are plenty of experienced people here who can offer good advice for you .I wish you all the best on your journey out of the man made religion known as jehovahs witnesses and hope in time you have success getting your family out .

smiddy

clarity

SecretHeart....welcome to JWN...hope you enjoy your stay.

You have such a good heart ...try not to be too hard on

yourself ....act inyour own self interests .Don't move too fast!

*

Take the time to concentrate on your kids & husband...do normal

things ...as much as you can. Have some fun!

Keep researching points you are not sure about & develope critical

thinking.

All the best

clarity

Amelia Ashton

Welcome SecretHeart11

Congratulations on your first post.

I too remember the fear and dread of my first encounter with apostate sites. I had already experienced corruption and the lack of love within the congregation which spurred me on to research outside of their literature and was astounded at what I discovered.

I soon realised I had no critical thinking skills so I could never argue their doctrines but knew something wasn't right.

Take it slow and keep your new knowledge close. Blurting out what you discover could do more harm than good. Keep yourself under the radar while you learn more and speak to people who managed to escape and take their family with them. The last thing you need is to be seen as a trouble maker or dissenter.

We will give you all the support you need.

Amelia xxx

jwfacts

Welcome. Don't worry, it will work out. The most important thing is patience, taking your time to educate those around you. It is highly unlikely your children will join the religion if you teach them critical thinking skills, and if your husband is barely active, then slowly educating him, without confrontation, will possibly get him to leave as well. If you argue with him, he will put up the walls, but if you are subtle you will eventually get through, since it is a religion with such a poor foundation.

ABibleStudent

Welcome SecretHeart11, I'm sorry that you are grieving about your lost WTBTS's dreams, but reality is much better than being victimized by the WTBTS's BITE control. Do lots of independent research of the WTBTS and vent on JWN as much as possible until you are sure about how you feel about the WTBTS. If you decide to fade from the WTBTS, make a plan to live the rest of your life with your family free from the WTBTS.

If you don't know what BITE control is, then read Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves, and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), visit his website www.freedomofmind.com, and/or watch his FREE videos on his website. The more that you learn about overcoming BITE control: the easier it will be to help your JW family to critically think for themselves and for all of you to fade from the WTBTS.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

Julia Orwell

What JWFacts says. Also, prompt his thinking with parallel examples, for instance North Korean totalitarianism or books on the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints by Carolyn Jessop. I read up on totalitarian regimes and weird cults, told my husband all about them over a period of time, and let him draw the conclusions. The trick is like JWFacts said, which is not to go too full on and trigger the cult response.

Crazyguy

Best advice go slow, I went fast and almost lost my wife. Learn true bible teachings so you can blow up there lies but only to plant seeds. Work with your kids to become critical thinkers and don't attack the cult just draw parrellals. Your husband may be lost to you in this battle so love him and show him that your love is better then thier organization.

happy@last

Welcome here, and well done for introducing yourself, I hope that in itself is a relief to you. As others have said, take your time, the cult behaviour in your husband is clearly there so you will need to be patient. Start studying for yourself, do your own research as you have been, this is all important to you and to save your family especially your children. Stay strong, I wish you all the best on your journey.

New & Anxious

Share this