by Found Sheep 134 Replies latest members private
Wanted to clarify that even though I won't say much now about my personal experiences with my past 'little man', some of the things you write send a chill through my body and I can relate to some of it. You are so open and honest about your life, I have come to admire you for this.
Peace and Love~
Faerie
Found Sheep,
it is interesting reading your about your life.
"I was a Real Pioneer. I was actually disapointed when the hours went down from 1,000. Yup I was the "type"
I had to laugh at this line. I was a pioneer but I never liked it.
Dear Raveen,
you have the same age then one of my daughters! The difference is that my children had a lovely mother and father though very very busy for the organisation.
Your story is deeply emotional to me: I also have had JW parents in law who were very pretentious and abusive to me, they have poisened my whole life, because I'm like you: ready to help and serve everybody.. The more I did for them, the more they were asking, and furthermore keeping on criticizing me over and over with JW fellows.
Fortunately, my husband, their son, was always with me, understanding and helpful, entering in conflict with them, which made them more crazy against me!
My life has been blessed with 3 kids and a loving husband since 46 years, but most of my energies have been sucked by the JW's organization and from my parents in law!
I'm so sad reading your story, hope for you that your life will offer you plenty of good things: you deserve it!!! Lots of love
Regards, Claudia
Morbidzbaby - so glad you called him EX! he sounds like a creap!
Freeflyingfarie- too much alike? I hope you got out too!
The Finger - not sure what sickness made me like it?
deep blue sea - your daughters are blessed having a good mom and dad. Makes the cult have less power.
I do have a happy ending.
I'm one of those types that reads the last page of a book first cuz I want to know the ending is good....
Thanks everyone for your remarks!
I'll write more soon
My dad got DF'ed shortly after we moved to WV. He liked to drink and drive but I think what got him DF'ed was going to strip joints. Post Dfing he had a nervous breakdown. He ended up in the hospital and then a 1/2 way house. I felt as if he died. As adults we started to have a normal relationship. I never shunned him because I felt his mental state was fagile and didn't think he needed more stress. He remained unstable even to this day. At one point he read Crisis of Conscience and he said that saved him. All this time he felt it was the "truth" and he would be destroyed at the big A.
My brother was a bit harsher on him. He lived near Dad and felt like he should have gone to the KH even if it was just to see his boys... At the time that made sense to me but now thinking about it? It just makes me shake my head
When I saw the writing on the wall about my marriage I went to visit my Dad. He encouraged me to divorce, move away and forget the "religion". Sounds good now but I just wasn't at that point yet. I still thought it was the "truth" and I had to follow there rules.
I was unable to find a new job right away so I did my old "faithful" way to kill any attention worldly men gave me. I decided to preach to Ahab. Boy, that backfired. First of all he wasn't scared away but listened. Then he talked about his beliefs and by the end of the conversation I knew he was more convinced of his thoughts then I was of mine.
Not being a pioneer changed my prospective about the "truth".
When you really pioneer it is your life. Well it was mine. I averaged 15 hours a month after I stopped but that is nothing to 75 or more. When you don't have your time in for the year you can't ever relax. It's always... what if something happens and you can't get your time. early in the year, month, day...
Now I was just a publisher. I didn't have any interviews on Assemblies after I stopped. I did on EVERY one prior. I'm not a "me" person so didn't MISS it, just noticed it wasn't there. Was I less of a "spiritual" person? Did i no longer look like an example? I went through nursing school with out missing one meeting! My school was 2 1/2 hours away so that was no small feat. I stayed with a JW couple part of the week and went to there meetings when I was there. In some ways I sacrificed more for the 'truth" after stopping pioneering then before. When you pioneer you have no time to allow anything in your life that could take your time, so you have nothing to sacrifice.
I was living an empty life. Work made me feel a sense of accomplishment but the Boss was difficult to say the least. I went to night shift to get away from her. Work inproved but working nightsift was extreamly hard to deal with.
Ahab asked if a few of us wanted to take a bike ride on his day off. I thought well, I've never done anything social with non JW's and it might be good for me. When I get home and tell LM he will flip out and I'll never do it again. So it ended up just being Ahab and me, the others bailed out. I thought OK this is interesting but just went with the flow. It was a real nice day and no presure, just small talk and a good workout. I thought for sure LM would flip out and even warned Ahab that I'll never be able to see him out of work again. He thought that was a bit extream but understood.
So I told the LM about my day and shock of all shocks all he said was "so my wife is hanging with the big wiggs" he almost seemed proud of it. Those are word he ends up regreting.
For the next few months every few days I starting running with Ahab and LM didn't seem to even care. Ahab's wife didn't like it and put an end to it.
My view of a lot of JW marriages:
As a JW after you say I Do that is it! There is no way out! I believe LM just took me for granted because he felt I had no choice but to stay with him. He would even say he "owned" me. As if I was just a purchase. I do now see he was obusively controlling but I also feel JW's encourage it. They never want an option to be known. Keep the rose colored glasses on. As a sister especially you are nothing when not attached to you Husband.
He stated later that he felt he would take care of his parents because he didn't know how much longer they would live. When they were gone I would still be there waiting for him. His Dad lived five years after the first episode and his Mom I believe is still alive.
I felt as if I was on a slow suicide and no one noticed. At one point I felt that was my only choice. Suicide or change everything about my life. Emotionally I was divorced. I just didn't know how to leave.
I found a new job and spent two and a half weeks at the beach with seven other JW sisters that I knew. It was a good time, well for JW's that is. I had time away from LM to think and let myself be me.
The freedom made going back home almost untolerable.
is anyone still reading this?
I guess it doesn't matter it's good therapy for me.
Peace to all!
