Email to my Dad on the UN / Prison Stories (page 3)

pandora

MSIL-
I fight back tears reading your words. We have all been through what WE call hell. But your words make many of us realize that our own hell is not nearly as bad as what you call your life.
To me you are the epitamy(sp?) of strength. My heart and prayers go out to you. You have a strength I envy. I consider my own life one of strength. But you make me realize how strong some of us must be to survive. I don't have your strength. I hope that I never have to have your strength. But should I ever need that kind of strength I will think of you.
I know your path has been a "narrow" one. And for that you have suffered. And now you must feel it was all for naught. But take heart in the fact that you had something to believe in at the time. You will find something else to believe in. We all know the heartbreak of finding out that what we believed in was a farse. We have felt the sting at some point. Maybe none as sharply as you. But as time goes on, I have realized that there are other things out there worth believing in. So,, we are not shang-highed as easily as we were before. We now research our decisions BEFORE we make them. But doesn't that make us a little smarter than those who just believe because they are told. I was gullible for waaay tooo many years. I think I research every thing now. Sometimes I think toooo many things. Until I come across that one hoax. The one I almost believed, but thank god I didn't tell anybody about it first. Then I realize I am smarter than I used to be. And I have to be thankful for that.
We live and we learn. It sucks. But it is true. All we can do is hope to learn from it before it is too late. So that we can make the rest of our lives better.
I am waxing phylisophical here. I apologize.
I don't know your complete story. I may never. I watch this thread to see if you post more. But I must tell you, I am inspired by you. I know you are going through hell right now. I hope your parents actually listen to you. I believe that the words your father spoke are actually something you should take hope from. It sounds as if he is trying to convince himself. You need to get to him before he can. It sounds as if there are questions in his heart now. If you wait too long, he will find a way to resolve those questions. The Org. has taught him well, I am sure. Keep giving him reason to doubt.
These are just my thoughts. I hope they do not offend.
Hugs to you. You will be in my thoughts.
No words can describe the insperation you give to others.
Peace be with you.
-P-

California Sunshine

MSIL,

Stories like yours break my heart. I'm so sorry you were made to suffer like that. You were only a kid of 16 too. No wonder you carry scars.

I second what Kent had to say. Letting it out really helps.

You are among people who care

minds are like parachutes--they only function when open.

siegswife

I'm sorry that you went through this and that you haven't been able to heal from it completely yet. I don't know what else to say except (((HUG)))

Tina

(((((((((((msil)))))))))))))
My heart goes out to you. Like Kent HS and others,you have my support if and whenever you want it.
Truly you've suffered,I am so so sorry. I'm glad you are able to open up a bit and start draining the 'wound' of it's poisons.
Sharing is how we can to 'be there' for you.Try to imagine ourselves in your place,and feel the feelings that go with it.
You were/are a brave courageous person. Brave to go thru such an experience,courageous in taking the risk of sharing a very painful part of your life. Yes,life experiences,especially traumatic ones like that,have a way of staying with us,affecting us until we begin to clear it out.
Wishing you love peace and continued courage always.luv,Tina

si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes

miner

MSIL,
Thanks for sharing your personal experiences here. I'm sorry for you and angry; in light of recent events, it all seems so unnecessary.
However, your story will encourage others with similar experiences and keep the fire going under many of us who, like you, still have family/friends hanging on to the org.
I admire your courage.
Miner

Andee

Msil,

I struggle to find the words to convey how deeply touched I am by your experience.

Amongst the despair, joy is found in: Traffic

Tells me much about your spirit.

Thank you for sharing.

Andee

LoneWolf

Hi, msil,

I too agree with Kent. Speaking openly of it will not only help, but sometimes it is the only thing that helps.

Two of my brothers also did "hard time". One went in two days after he was married. He had a sentence for 6 months. When he got out, he was immediately brought before the court and told to enlist. He told them "No." so they sent him back for another 18 months. He did his time in Lompoc, California.

The other brother was sentenced to 18 months. He spent most of that time in the prison for the criminally insane in Springfield, Missouri.

I don't know what country you are from, but if you happen to be from the United States's Pacific Northwest, it may comfort you to know that I have already contacted two newspapers, the Portland Oregonian and the Eugene Register-Guard, and sent them Investigator's news release. I volunteered to be the "contact person" that she requested.

I also followed up with telephone calls to the reporters in both papers and received a very cordial reception. As one told me, "It'll go, but we are trying to figure out whether it should be under the "religion" heading, or the "national news" heading."

Needless to say, I'm going to continue following up on these contacts.

Keep your chin up (but not your nose GGG). There's daylight at the end of the tunnel.

LoneWolf

outnfree

((((msil)))),

I, too, was moved to tears. I too, would like to offer my love and support.

Nothing I have ever experienced compares with the sense of betrayal you must have felt when your 'Christian brothers' treated you worse than the 'world' that had imprisoned you.... No, I cannot imagine the depth of your hurt.

outnfree

Par dessus toutes choses, soyez bons. La bonte est ce qui ressemble le plus a Dieu et ce qui desarme le plus les hommes -- Lacordaire

ladonna

(((((((Msil)))))))

Some hurts and traumas are so deep that nothing can touch them; nothing can make them better; nothing can make the pain go away.

Nothing except the touch of one soul to another....

Souls do cry.

Ana

"He to whom emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."
A.Eienstein.

Tatiana

msil, I sit here with tears streaming down my face! No wonder you understood me and my sister so well. You have more strength in your little finger than anyone I know. I can't believe the trust it took for you to post your story to us. Thank you.

You have more reason than most to be angry and hurt. What you endured is unforgivable! We take for granted a simple thing like tail lights, when it meant freedom to you. Your description of the feelings you had made my heart hurt.

I hurt for you, and hope you can find some peace in all the madness.

Love......

April

"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)

Email to my Dad on the UN / Prison Stories

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