czarofmischief
JoinedTopics Started by czarofmischief
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35
The long, boring, and pointless story of CZAR - with happy ending!
by czarofmischief inhere it is, it took me two days to write and therefore nobody should actually be able to read it.. the purpose of writing a story like mine down serves two purposes.
first, i must find a coherent understanding and explanation of the events that have befallen me.
second, i hope that my story helps others in some way, to let them know that there is indeed "light at the end of the tunnel.
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5
Witness to launch image makeover with New Deity
by czarofmischief insnoop dogg hired as jehovaq's replacement.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/25/56099/1.ashx.
following in the footsteps of their former deity, the witness cult's leadership made the historic announcement that they have contracted a new "special relationship" with rap icon snoop dogg.
appearing at a press conference in the deserted wildlands next to the masonic gravesite of organization founder, c.t.
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13
My rage...
by czarofmischief inthis is a personal venting topic - mostly getting some things that have happened in the recent past off my chest and laying it all out where i can see it.
so don't answer or even read it if you don't care - i know.
i'm whining, but mostly to see if i can focus some of this energy.... anyway, i'm furious right now.
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8
Jehovah to drop "h"
by czarofmischief inflagging sales prompt deity image change.
jehovah, god of the universe and former head of the jehovah's witnesses, will be dropping the 'h' from the end of his name and replacing it with a silent "q".. this is widely seen by industry insiders as an attempt to attract a younger, hipper audience, more in tune with truly avant-garde spelling.. jehovaq's newest release, "jehovaq attackq" will feature the letter q in truly unexpected places, said jehovaq spokesperson, czarofmischief in an interview this afternoon at crazy mocha coffee company, bloomfield, pa.. "could this be a concialiatory effort to reach out to the gay community by embracing the queerest of all letters?
maybe," said czar, sliding gently off his chair and lying on the floor.. jehovaq seemed mildly concerned with the effects of alcohol on the pr community, especially czar.. "fuh q!
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74
So, will you be voting for Bush next time?
by czarofmischief in.
when the election rolls around, will you be pulling the lever for w?
i will, unless somebody comes along with the offer of free supermodels for me.. czar
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2
Jaracz Denounces Traditional Latino Celebrations!
by czarofmischief inracist comments revive religion.
ted jaracz, head of the organization formerly known as jehovah's witnesses, today launched a verbal assault on latino communities in the los angeles area.
his comments incensed local and national civil rights leaders, while at the same time provided a focus for a religion that some say has lost its way.. referring to the traditional habit among certain latin american communities of firing their guns into the air during celebrations, jaracz denounced this as "an obvious attempt to bring down the kingdom of god.".
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Jehovah Goes on Hunger Strike
by czarofmischief injehovah the creator has announced his holy intention of not consuming any food until the presence of anti-war hippies is removed from his shows.
upset at the continual presence of young people protesting the u.s. and british intervention in iraq, jehovah announced that either they quit bugging him or he will famish himself as a statement of support for the violent overthrow of saddam hussein.. "i'm an artist," said jehovah, in an interview at gator's saloon in bloomfield, pa. "it's my responsibility to overcome stupidity and short sightedness.".
while the concept of a supreme being getting involved in earthly politics may be upsetting to some, the source of dynamic energy is an ardent supporter of political demonstrations of military strength.
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11
Jehovah Launches Solo Career
by czarofmischief in2 months after breakup with group, deity starts anew.. two months after bitterly breaking up with the group jehovah's witnesses, jehovah god has announced the launch of his new solo effort.
at a press conference in pittsburgh, the historical launching pad for his previous religious affiliation, jehovah seemed relaxed and happy as he puffed on an illegaly imported cuban cigar and discussed his marketing strategy.. wearing a snowy white t-shirt and a modest crown of eternal fire, radiating holiness, purity, and joie de vivre, jehovah wowed reporters with his wit and sincerity.
the back of crazy mocha coffee shop in the bloomfield section of town rang loud with laughter and the occasional salvation of a weary sinner.. "that's strictly for effect, you know," said the supreme being, watching a newly converted member of his solo effort roll on the floor.
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1
Hamas, I'm sorry...
by czarofmischief ini feel like i'm waking up, like some kind of horrible nightmare has drained out of my bloodstream and left me tired and weak, with things to apologize for.
so, im doing it publicly.
like saying we should nuke mecca during the hajj.
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7
Pax Americana
by czarofmischief inthe new world order is here.
it is the american empire.. it makes sense, really.
"manifest destiny", andy jackson, it has all led up to this.