In my experience a lot of elders can't keep their mouth shut. They have to share what they know about you. This sharing varies from the wife, other elders, the C.O. to anyone who's interested; depending on the elder you confide in. As others have said here also, keep in mind that even a good friendly elder will turn on a dime to df you if he see fit. I think you should see a therapist if you really feel the need to work out feelings. If it's religious questions bothering you, go see some religious counsellor. You'll probably find yourself more at ease to talk to someone you don't know anyway.
Above all keep up the research... and I believe you'll eventually feel no further need to talk to a J-dub elder.