Thanks everyone ... I guess I feel torn between the life I have now (which is fantastic) and the life i used to have as a JW. Part of me realises that its all a bunch of crap and there is no end coming ( I mean lets face it it .. how likey is it that the prophecy alone about the UN stamping out all religion is going to happen when most of the UN is organised of ppl of different religions and backgrounds .. not to mention the UN developing a worldwide religion, I mean PLEASE!!) But then theres the part of my head that say "what if it all is going to happen ? what if armageddon is coming ? Either way I know I am not ever going to make myself a part of JWs again ... but I want to at least live the rest of my life till old age with the ppl i love and who love me.