Well, my best friend Sarah, The love of my life, has deemed me a bad association. Just when I thought I could get her out those bastards sucked her right back in. I know by starting this thread I'm beggin' for a flaming, but this is very serious and need some support and this is the only place that I can get it. I am partly to blame for her mistrust in me. I unknowingly put a lot of pressure on her to help me understand her beliefs. I gave her C of C a couple weeks ago and she gave it back, along with a ring I spent my last dime on to buy her. She never read the book and probably never will and that frustrates the hell out of me because if she had only read it, she'd be free. I would have finally had a wife and a mother to our children. I know It takes more than a book. I have a two foot high stack of quotes and false prophecies and doctrinal flip-flops on my desk. I have more than enough evidence and knowledge to prove these a-holes ain't the "truth". I am so angry right now I feel like driving my truck through the front door of the kingdom hall right in the middle of a meeting. How can you turn away from someone who loves you because of their beliefs. Apparently when you are a brainwashed zombie, It's quite easy. It's also easy to ignore their pain and concern. I'm in pain? Must be the work of SATAN. I'm concerned? I must be trying to manipulate her thinking to seduce her to the dark side. Can you feel it, can you feel the pain I'm in? Sarah sure as hell ( or the grave) can't. The woman I love is only twenty minutes away, and I can't go to her, can't hold her or tell her I love her. She just doesn't get It. I have spent hundreds of hours and hundreds of dollars to arm myself with the knowledge to free her. I even lost my job over this ( I worked with her) because this was more important. This has actually taken a physical toll on me. I can't sleep, can't eat, can't function as a normal human being. I know I sound obsessive, but I love her and always will. Anyone who has been there would understand. I cannot give up on this, she means too much to me, she's made me a better person. The woman I love is a prisoner to fear and guilt, her mind controled by a bunch of lying manipulative bastards. She is very vulnerable and It is only a matter of time before someone tries to take advantage of that. I sometimes wish I could give up, but my heart will not allow It. Unlike a witness, I trust my heart and let It guide me. It follows no rules nor has restrictions as to when It is used. Quitting is not an option, Patience is. I am 27 years old and have searched many years for someone like Sarah. I can't give up hope. though her mind is not her own, the woman I love, my best friend, my future, is in their somewhere. I know my chances are slim, but I have to keep trying. I need as much support as anyone can offer. Without It I have no chance.
Edited by - mackey on 13 February 2003 23:34:38