Posts by SPAZnik

14

Have your moral values changed drastically?

by voltaire in

jw
friends

i'm currently separated from my wife.

i told the elders that it ain't the truth and they told me to shape up or ship out (that's the very short version) my wife's loyal to the org.

and i don't want to be an apostate in my own home.

SPAZnik

You said:

And it's really not just about the sex, it would be sooooo nice just to hug someone, to talk. Of course, fat chance on having someone over for a couple of hugs and a little conversation without it leading to sex!

So don't have 'em over. Go out.

Sounds like you need some friends
even more than you need to get laid.

Could this be plain old loneliness resulting from some drastic changes in your life? Have you tried spending time with friends? Going out with people from work for coffee or whatever?

"Emotional vulnerability and neediness" can be
part n' parcel to separation/divorce. Doesn't hafta mean
you are necessarily immoral.

To answer your subject title....

No. My moral values haven't changed drastically.
Except to say that jdub laws don't necessarily = my morals.
Well, ok, that in itself could be seen as pretty drastic. hehe

This doesn't mean i'm entirely amoral...
like you i'm still sorting some stuff out...for myself.
And that's a great feeling.

Mainly I have lost the guilt that used to burden
me down, over being with someone I love.

SPAZ

16

I'M FREAKING OUT!

by SPAZnik in

today my best friend from the borg called me!

ok.. i've been officially out for almost a year now.. no contact with former "friends" & "family".. (just my mom checks up on me now and then,.

fishing for info on my "activities".

SPAZnik

thx peaceloveharm & billy!

yep, we stay in touch now
via email
and i'm sure we will
keep meeting every now
and then to catch up.

she's still 'in'
so i'm sure some days
will be easier than others
to meet with me.

neither of us want to get her
into any kind of "trouble"...

It's great to be back in touch
with her!

Also great to have some kewl
cyber-people to share that
with! Thx all!

Here's hoping you get a nice
surprise like that too someday
Andi! (yes i know, siblings are
the hardest to leave behind)

SPAZ

4

Priest resigns after church attacks him

by bboyneko in

jw
friends

"jesus was neither a mediator nor a saviour, neither super-human nor divine; we need to leave him to his place in history and move on .

the world has seen religions come and go; to my mind, no religion is guaranteed permanence, only the searching human spirit, mind and heart are perennial.

- andrew furlong" .

new massachusetts law

by troucul in

jw
friends

anyone have any opinions on what effect the new massachusetts law will have on dubba's?

(priests have 30 days to report any sexual abuse-or they will face criminal charges).

if you ask me, i foresee the borg's defense as:'we don't have priests, therefore the law does not apply to us'(by altering their terminology they can create loopholes).

SPAZnik

I wonder,
how the state will 'prove'
that the "clergy" in question
knew about the abuse?

aside from denying that they are 'clergy'
dubs will likely
not release any records they keep.
and/or
they will quote stuff about needing
three witnesses to substantiate any
such claim.

i can just see the squabbling over
the meaning of the term "known" sexual abuse
of children.

SPAZ

12

His wife is gonna kill him....

by butalbee in

I'M FREAKING OUT!

by SPAZnik in

today my best friend from the borg called me!

ok.. i've been officially out for almost a year now.. no contact with former "friends" & "family".. (just my mom checks up on me now and then,.

fishing for info on my "activities".

SPAZnik

*Update*

(My apologies for taking so long
to update...life's so funfilled
now i rarely find enough time
to hang out with all my fellow
cyber-worldlings haha )

so anyway..
The "meet" went very well!!
We went to this great restaurant
and enjoyed dinner and drinks
and gabbed.

She is as sweet & beautiful as ever.
And the conversation picked up
as if no time at all had gone by.

She told me right off the bat
that she feels fine to see me
and the reason being is that people (read jdubs)
see their da'd and df'd family
and as far as she is concerned
I am part of her family.

I just looked at my beautiful friend
and thought, "whatever works for you".

We had a great visit.

And at the end, she was the one to mention
that in comparing her comments and mine,
I appear to be the happier one of us.

I didn't reply. I felt sad that her
circumstances have her sad...
and i thought it was really neat
that she was taking note of that sort of
thing and glad that my contentment/happiness
shone through and spoke for itself.

I'm glad i went. It wasn't an inquisition
or anything negative. It was worth it and now
we are 'in touch' a little bit here and there
which is way better than the 'no contact' that
was happening b4. kewl!!

Thanks again for all of your support!!

SPAZ

22

Possesed Smurf doll walks out of Kingdom Hall!!

by JamesG in

jw
friends

hey,.

new to this site, yippee!!!!.

has anyone heard the story about the possesed smurf doll that got up and walked out of the kingdom hall?.

SPAZnik

BWAAA HAAAAA.

*GAG*CHOKE*BARF*

SPAZ.

ps - Welcome to the site!

39

Is it possible to love 2 people at same time?

by butalbee in

jane doe once upon a time had a dream life, she had the perfect man, who would've done anything for her, and did everything just for her, loved her wholeheartedly, dedicating the rest of his life to make her happy.

well, one day joe blow comes along, and sweeps jane off her feet, w/ his delightful smile and his vivacious personality--and jane starts to get confused: she has deeps feeling for john doe, but she just can't resist this joe blow.

somehow, in the middle of ruining her dream life--the nice house, loving, caring person to share it with, she finds herself totally smittened by joe blow, and starts thinking about him more than she thinks about her john doe dude.

SPAZnik

haha it just cracks me up how a thread asking

"can you love two people at once"
somehow turns into

"artists...tend to have bigger egos"
and
"artists...may be emotionally very shallow at the same time"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

No, i'm not an artist...i just find it funny.
Cuz really the above statements seem to me
to really have little to do with whether a person
is an "artist" or not, but could be said about
basically anybody.

Back to the subject at hand,

SEE JANE SAD.

love is such a broad word...
Bitter Mango summed up well how i feel about it too...

Yes, it's possible to "love" 2 people at once,
I love lotsa people, and find it easy to do so.
As for being IN LOVE...that's a much more
potent feeling. i personally have
only ever been IN LOVE with one person at a time.

I also liked the question the follower made
about whether it is possible to love just one
person at a time...
i had been thinking similarly...i often doubt
that some people are even capable of "love" at all...
at almost any level. i feel sad for them.

Everyone's different though.
Each relationship is very unique too.

Good luck to Jane and John and Joe.
I mainly hope Jane can be honest and open
with herself about everything that happened
and find some peace and learnings from that,
opening herself up to having stronger, more satisfying
love(s) in the future.

SPAZ

28

I feel so guilty

by Leander in

jw
friends

these past few weeks i've spent a lot of time trying to decide how i want to proceed with the rest of my life.

one of my first decisions to carry out is to break free from the wts.

even though i've been a life long witness i feel no guilt or hesistation in leaving the only religion i've ever known.

SPAZnik

Leander...

wow...i'm feeling for ya right now
and can totally relate.

i left my spouse,

then i left "the truth"

not at exactly the same time,

but very close together.

it was a lot to handle all at once.

Timing is a lot.

All i can really offer as advice is
"try to only do things
when you feel really ready...
or it seems right for you."

I was reeeeally ready to leave my spouse
it felt right so that part was, dare i say, easy.
I have no regrets/guilt there.

I was almost ready to leave the religion
but it happened a little faster than i
would have liked. The timing on that one
was a little tougher, but I'm slowly coming to
grips with that and enjoying feeling
guilt-free...only a few regrets about
how and whens of it all.

Leaving your religion
and/or leaving your marriage
are two separate issues
(even though they can seem so very intertwined at times).

Try and be open-minded to options on
how to handle your situation...
look forward to days without guilt.

All the advice here seems good.
Counsellors can be helpful,
even just as a sounding board,
IF you feel comfortable enough to be
honest with them, and with yourself.
It's true that it's tuff for us to
comment very well on your marital
situation or what to do there.
It sounds to me like you care for
your wife, and don't want to hurt her
(this has been a theme with you since
your first posts). (Maybe go through
some of your other changes first
and then reassess the situation as far
as whether it has drawn the two of you
ultimately closer or farther.
Who knows, maybe being more yourself
and more honest about who you are
will be appealing to her in spite of
the religious differences. Maybe
she will respect your decisions.
Then again maybe not. i dunno,
i'm jes' speculatin' here.)

i think it's great that you vent here
when you are up or down too. That seems
healthy IMHO, so don't be sorry or guilty
for posting your thoughts here ok...

it's also neat that you are
thinking about goals and future plans
like pursuing your creative, artistic
talents. Keep that up!! I love hearing
about people's dreams...it's GREAT!

Rootin' for ya!

SPAZ

36

So I guess it's finally my turn <grin>

by noidea in

jw
friends

well i had a visit today from an elder (related through marriage) about my non-meeting attendance.

he let me know that the circuit overseer is due in for a visit in 2 weeks and the elders in my congregation felt that it would be good for them to pay me a visit.

i have already declined other such offers.. he asked me why i was not attending the meetings (didn't reply to that) and that if i had a problem that i could talk about it.

SPAZnik

NOI - I'm glad you are standing your ground and not giving in to the way they disrespected you when they said "they'll probably come by anyway"....how rude!

Hooray for you, answering their disrespect with calm and respect.

You sound really 'heads up' about the whole situation. I'm in awe!!
Hang in there and keep us posted!

Hugs,

SPAZ