Just caught up with this LevelTPF. That's two hours of your life you'll never get back .
I think you probably did the right thing. As expected the elders were not going to being interested in what you had to say, just to gauge if you were going to be making trouble or go back into your shell.
Pushing the point would only escalate things and if that's not what you want then you had to back down and keep stum. The thing is they don't care what you have to say, it would have been wasted breath anyway.
Hopefully your wife is placated a bit now and you can carry on.