Bonnie-
Hello and welcome to the board. Having been in your shoes about 18 years ago, I can assure you it will get better. However, it will require you to be strong and open minded. I was in an abusive marriage. I got lucky. A co-worker gave me the name and phone number of a free service for abused women. I was terrified. They were worldly-what could they do to help me? What they did was open my eyes to why I accepted the abuse. Why I stayed. Etc. You have probably thought of all of this.
Talking to someone objective and who has training in helping you overcome your pain is cruicial. Being told to "endure" is the standard JW quote. My mother was in an abusive marriage. She too was told to "endure". When she was beaten up so badly that her eyes were beaten shut, she finally got help. It was not from the brothers. It was from a professional. There are many organizations in the Chicago area. That is where I, and my mother, recieved help. If you cannot pay, they will still help you. Her husband, my stepfather, was never reprimanded for his actions. The brothers said my mother must have done something to provoke him!
Please look in the local phone book under domestic abuse and or/women's groups. Or call the Red Cross. Or the United Way. They will not try to convert you, just help. You need help in overcoming the negative brainwashing. You will not necessarily deny being a JW. My mother still is. I am not. However, she is ever grateful to the professionals who helped her overcome her pain. They did not care what religion she was.
I wish you well. I have been out of the Chicago area for over 12 years, so I am not the best resource on local help. However, it is out there. Good luck.