All are not equal before judicial committees

roybatty

This is nothing new but there seems to be a lot of advice on what to do when the elders call you to meet with them before a judicial committee. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I’ll give you the perspective that I had as an elder sitting on a judicial committee. It doesn’t matter if you’re before the committee for apostasy, fornication, smoking, drinking or anything else. Two things will make up 90% of their decision. One, are you a good friend of one of the elders on the judicial committee and two, what value will you be to the congregation if they don’t df you.

The first one is just human natural. If Brother Kent is before us because he is accused of apostasy but says he’s sorry and he’s been my buddy for a lot of years, well, I can more easily see that he’s sorry. But Brother Fred over here, who’s been token the wacky weed, well, I don’t know him that well. Is he sorry or isn’t he sorry? I’m not sure so we’d better df’ing just to be safe. Kind of makes it easy to understand why in the courts of the land they won’t let a buddy of accused be the trial judge. Duh.

Regarding number two. If you’re a pioneer, ms or elder they will be more lenient. Having one of these “privileges” taken away is usually enough to slide by without being df’d, especially if you say that you’re sorry (over and over again). What the elders will think is “hey, after a little bit of time has passed, we’ll have our so and so back.” They don’t want to “cut off their nose to spite their face.” To them, someone who’s JUST a publisher is easier to replace. Others aren’t.

Maybe I’m off base, maybe I’m not but this is what I always noticed.

LittleToe

Maybe many work that way, but I never have.
I always prefered to err on the side of mercy.
If someone wasn't repentant, the chances were they would be up before the JC again pretty soon.
I've always seen DF'ing as psychologically devastating. I hate the whole concept.
It's a sledgehammer to crack a nut.

Just my 2p,

LT

Pathofthorns

Yes, this is very much true. If they like you, have seen you grow up, know your family and relatives well, then you have much going for you.

Those who are on the "fringes" of the congregation and who haven't been doing so well, those who are repeat sinners (lol) need to be taught a lesson. A disfellowshipping will do them some good. "Shock them to their senses" :)

Path

siegswife

I have a question about disfellowshipping/disassociating. Back in 1987 I told 3 of the elders that I didn't want anything to do with the org any more. I never wrote a letter. Some time down the road, I learned (I forget how) that I was disfellowshipped. I didn't think anything about it because I figured it was because I told them what I did. Since coming here I've found out that I was supposed to have some sort of judicial hearing to be disfellowshipped. That never happened. Can anyone explain how they disfellowshipped me?

teenyuck

I agree with Roybatty. My Dad left home, committed adultery, etc. He started smoking. For some reason, they df'd him for that. He was not present. They told my mom and announced it. Then, about two years later, my sister committed fornication (they figured it out because her baby was born 6 months after her marriage) She was not present either-no meetings with the elders, just a JC that decided she was a whore. My mother, divorced and dating a 'worldly', committed fornication once (I got all the details as a 15 year old). She confessed and begged forgiveness from the elders. They promptly df'd her. If she had been dating a JW, it might not have been so swift. She even dumped her boyfriend. I don't know if it was bad sex or because she was df'd.

teenyuck

siegswife-I was typing my info when yours went in.

The same thing was done to my sister and father. I do not know how/why they get away with it. Perhaps Roybatty has info?

roybatty

Siegs,

They don’t have to have a judicial meeting to disassociate you. This is what they most likely did if you told them that you didn’t want to belong to the organization anymore. That is why they many time they will send two elders to “investigate” apostasy or violations of neutrality. It’s the old “two witness” rule. The elders will come buy and if they discern that you are “unreachable” they will pound on you with the question “do you still want to be recognized as a Jehovah’s Witness?” or they will ask “do you consider yourself a Jehovah’s Witness?” The second you say “no”, you’re da’d.

roybatty

LittleToe

Puff:
Was that in the days of the congregation servant. They used to go in heavy handed as a commitee of one.

Other than that, a DF'ing should only occur, without the individual, if they fail to attend having been given fair notice.
Even if they DNA, they should be given another chance if the reason for non-attendance is fair.

Sadly, many just want to dole out the punishment, without following any guideline barring the law of themselves!

LT

roybatty

Oh, I did forget one thing. The "I'm not going to meet with the judical committee" doesn't work. They can df you for things like fornication even if you are not there. All the elders have to do is make an "honest" attempt to reach you.
I was on one case were the "brother" was avoiding us. So we left two messages on his answering machine and sent him a letter. Each item stated when and where his jc hearing was going to be. He didn't show so he was df'd anyway.
I guess what I'm getting at is there is no point in doing all kinds of research to present the elders or hire OJ's defense team. It just doesn't matter. You're pretty much df'd or not df'd even before the hearing starts.

teenyuck

I believe my sister refused to meet with the elders. My mother tried to get her to call them back-no luck. My father was nowhere to be found. He was in a mid-life crisis and moved to North Carolina, from Chicago. We found this out later, when he finally showed up at the door. This was approximately 25 years ago with my dad and 23 years ago with my sister.

All are not equal before judicial committees

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