it's a bit early but as we are leaving town i had no choice but to do this now.
sunday is mulan and big red's fortieth wedding anniversary.
they were kind enough to want to share the celebration with their family so we are going to hawaii with them tomorrow for two weeks!.
I just had to post to this thread...thanks so much Princess for bringing this to our attention!
LOVE THAT PICTURE!!!
Mulan, you know I love you! Here's wishing you and BigRed another 40 happy years (it can happen!) Have a FABULOUS time on your trip, and congratulations to you both on this fabulous acheivement!!! I only hope I look as great as you do when JackD and I have our 40th! :)
*hugs* and lotsa love (hugs to you too Princess and family!)
Essie
g'day apostates, .
last week i was feeling a bit off and in some serious pain, so i climbed aboard the bush beast and headed for the hospital.
(to visit a doctor after-hours or without an appointment isn't done in this part of the world) luckily for me bega district hospital is only a fifteen minute drive from my bolt-hole in the hills.
...and here I was popping my head out of the phone box just a day or so ago and asking "has anyone heard from UncleBruce lately?"
And here you are, true without your gallbladder but the rest of you is intact! Sorry you had to go through that...glad you're doing better and sending you a big hug (((((((((((UB))))))))))))
I think this is one of the funniest things I've ever read on this forum:
I may have a weak stomach but farkel can call me a dipfuck anyday and i won't bat an eyelid but if anyone calls me a pusbag i'll puke coffee and chicken sanddwich all over this keyboard!
ROFLMAO! I agree, the word should be banned! Heal fast and know I'm thinking of you!
big hugs!
what are your thoughts on home schooling?
we had a few in one congregation i was in that practiced home schooling for their kids.
i kina think home schooling is isolationists and for loons.
Since I've been lurking about this week I'll toss some of my thoughts in on this subject...
I was homeschooled from 4th grade on till I graduated. I loved it because public school was nothing short of hell for me. physical beatings, constant ridicule, teachers who took their feelings about JW's out on me. it wasn't pretty. I won't bore you with the stories of my siblings horrible time in public school.
Even though my home environment was less than healthy (parents had issues besides being jw's) I am still glad I was homeschooled. It didn't effect me socially in any negative way, all my siblings graduated (except, ironically, the one who went all the way up to her senior year in public school!) One sibling has a college degree. One sibling is a misfit, socially and every other way in life, but he would be that way whether he'd gone to school or not.
My (second) husband was never a JW, grew up entirely in public education and then four years of university, and he loathed every minute of it and swears he can't imagine sending our daughter to public school. he grew up in a different state too so i know it's not just where we live.
My daughter is taught at home (with input from a certified teacher) and she is doing spectacularly. She has play dates during the week to get to be with kids her own age (all of whom are non-jw's) and has a very active social life. She already talks about going to college someday and knows it will happen.
I know there are families who shouldn't homeschool. JW and non. If the parents aren't willing to take on this full time job, then they should send their child to public school. A lot of parents who "homeschool" in the religion call dropping a kid off at the hall for others to take in field service an education. It's not.
So many kids I know who were homeschooled at the same time I was pioneered during their high school aged years instead of learning a trade, and when they married they couldn't support themselves because they had zero job skills. The only ones who have escaped holding several minimum wage jobs are ones who sucked it up and went back for technical training of some sort.
So...imo homeschooling works for my family. But it may very well not work for yours or your neighbors and there are kids who are definitely better off in public school.
Parent's cannot be lazy if they're going to do this, period. Physically, emotionally, or mentally. Or, if they both have to work (I'm a stay at home mom) then obviously homeschooling won't work, kids can't be trusted to do the work unless you keep on them all the time.
i'm just 'stopping by briefly' lol to wish happy holidays to old friends who may still be posting/lurking here...so many of you come to my mind on a regular basis, things you've said long ago continue to return to me when i need them and keep me going in a strong, forward direction.
my family continues to be amazed by the fact that four and a half years after my df'ing, i still haven't caved in and gone back.
for me, there is no going back.
Thanks Mac (if you remember my writing then you know I was always very pro-lurker! lol) and concerned Mama! Nice to make your acquaintance :) I'm glad the essay was helpful to you. I still have lots of them, on a variety of topics...will have to see what I can do about getting those back up on the web for the new folks. I wondered if there was a use for them and now I'm thinking there may still be.
COMF! You were on my list dearie, I hit send and suddenly you weren't there LOL (board glitch!) JackD sends his best right back to you. You too Think4, I think of you and your hubby all the time and your dear sister too. Lilacs, how you been kiddo? I hope life is being kind to you.
I know I missed a gazillion people in my post, you should all know who you are! :)
Dogpatch, I miss ya buddy. Always enjoyed our e mails. I'll have to be sure I keep in touch with you now and again! :)
It's so nice to come back to say hello now and then. Anyone heard from UncleBruce lately? Dedalus? I really hope that more folks who've made their way out into the "world" (lol) from here will say hello or e mail so we can catch up!
love to all,
Essie
i'm just 'stopping by briefly' lol to wish happy holidays to old friends who may still be posting/lurking here...so many of you come to my mind on a regular basis, things you've said long ago continue to return to me when i need them and keep me going in a strong, forward direction.
my family continues to be amazed by the fact that four and a half years after my df'ing, i still haven't caved in and gone back.
for me, there is no going back.
I'm just 'stopping by briefly' lol to wish Happy Holidays to old friends who may still be posting/lurking here...so many of you come to my mind on a regular basis, things you've said long ago continue to return to me when I need them and keep me going in a strong, forward direction. My family continues to be amazed by the fact that four and a half years after my df'ing, I still haven't caved in and gone back. For me, there is no going back. I think of this place and so many of you often,Cowboy, Seven, Kismet, Safe4kids, Ozzie and Mrs, Mulan, Princess, Randy, Bill B, Simon and Ang, Dedalus...too many to go on naming. So many good people it was my fortune to get to meet through this place. For anyone who has wondered, I've been trying my best to keep healthy, the disease makes its presence felt but i take it a day at a time. I'm blessed with a wonderful husband and daughter who is growing up with choices and an open mind, as well as our unconditional love, something her JW relatives cannot offer her. She's had some rough spots this year what with being told continuously by her dad that Mommy will die when the big A comes, but we are doing all we can to offset the damage, and she is anxiously awaiting Christmas. Her life is so much different than mine was as a JW child, and that is just as I want it. As my "Christmas Card" to any newbies or lurkers who haven't yet gotten comfortable with the idea of the holidays, I am re-posting my 2 year old Holiday post. Hope it helps someone, as this place has helped me in the past. Happy Holidays everyone, and have a safe and blessed 2003! Love, Esmeralda and Family Holidays: It's All About Gratitude |
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| "What the holidays mean to me" a post by Esmeralda which could also be called: "Have yourself a merry little..." ( Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, insert holiday of choice here) OR, "Why the artificial tree in my living room has nothing to do in my mind with the plastic baby Jesus in the nativity scene outside City Hall." I'm awake at this inhuman hour (at least for me) before the sun sipping my coca cola trying to ease my sour stomach. Another night of sleep lost, courtesy of the 'higher moral values' of my Jehovah's Witness relatives. Thank you very much. The M.S. is acting up this morning and my left hand is really weak. I can't really feel my fingers on the keys so that's slowing me down in typing. But this is stuck in my head and if I don't get it out, I won't be able to go back to sleep. So bear with me, (and if you care to), read on and find out why to me, (just one 29 year old mommy from the Midwest) the 'holy days' of this season have nothing at all to do with their origin. This is the first year of my life I have owned a "Christmas" tree. I am fully aware of the ramifications of this in the mind of my Witness relatives. "Paganism! Idolatry! False Worship!" Okay. Take that opinion if you want. Have any of you contemplated the significance/ origin of your wedding rings lately? "Saturnalia! Roman Orgies! Sugar-coated rituals that displease God!" Looked at the names of the months on your calendar, have you? Going to start calling the months by other names? Perhaps the names of the 12 apostles instead? Oh, but then what would you do about Judas? No good naming a month after him. What to do? "Greed! Commercialism! "Holidays" have nothing to do with religion anymore anyway!" And...this is a bad thing? I thought you didn't like the fact that they had anything to do with religion to begin with!!! While I was standing in the long lines of frustrated shoppers at Toys R Us last month, (I shopped early) I had a lot of time to think about what Christmas means to most of them. It looked like, to many of them, the most religious experience associated with the whole thing was knowing they got the last Rugrats singing doll and that their kid wouldn't be crying come December 25th. December 25th. Hmm. Which just so happens to be my daughters birthday. Boy does that cloud the issue even more for my family. "Birthdays! Only Murderers in the Bible Celebrated them! Glorifying the creation and not the Creator!" And...anniversary celebrations would be glorifying what? If you reduce it down to the bare facts for most JW couples, couldn't you say that anniversary celebrations are really having a party to remember and glorify the first time they, um, consummated? (If they behaved according to the rules, that is). Is that really proper, brothers? My point in all of this is, the plastic fir tree in my living room (four and a half feet tall, pre-wired with 200 gold lights, brought to you by Hammacher Schlemmer) has nothing to do with anything except showing my child a broader view of the world. Understanding of others. Tolerance. Something with which I can make an impression on my young, impressionable child to counteract the indoctrination campaign my ex and the rest of my family have embarked upon. With connecting myself to my new family, my husband's parents, who flew all the way out here to cook me turkey on Thanksgiving and bring family heirloom ornaments that pre-date my husband's birth in their family. Precious things, to them. Sacred things, because family is a sacred thing. Not a religious symbol in the lot of them. There are tiny glittered ornaments that my husband (JackDawson to those of you who've seen him post here before) made with his little fingers at the same age my daughter is now. Crystal ones that say "baby's first Christmas" from before even then. My mother in law hauled these, carefully wrapped in tissue all the way from New England. On a cramped, over packed flight to the busy local airport, which is a major airline hub. Through the crowds. In the cold. That's love, folks. All so she could sit on my living room floor, with her 'step' granddaughter (though no one in our family ever uses that harsh term) and hang them on our little Hammacher Schlemmer. Each ornament has a story. We sat for hours, drinking coffee and laughing as myself and my daughter got a lesson in family history from my husband's parents. "Remember when Grandma made this one? Remember the year we got this one? Remember how the cat loved to bat at this one at the bottom of the tree when he was a kitten?" I learned. We bonded. We became better acquainted in a way that never could have happened any other way. It's also not about the gifts. Though, shopping for them has been a lot of fun for me (thank the Universe for online shopping). I have also enjoyed having an excuse to thank people in my life who've been especially kind to me in the past year, in a way that at other times may have seemed odd or even inappropriate. When else can you send a tin of cookies to your wonderful dentist or top-notch neurologist and not be thought a nutcase? Many people have compared life in the Watchtower to the alien species of the Borg from Star Trek. For those of you who know the genre well, my next comparison will be familiar. For those who don't, I hope that this will still make sense in the end. Bear with me. There is a planet in the Star Trek universe called Bajor. I have always particularly related to the inhabitants of this fictitious world, because of their tortured and confused relationship with their religion, and their deities, "The Prophets". The Prophets are shrouded in mystery, and vague generalities but are never to be questioned. (Much like the Governing Body) Whatever happens to the people, pestilence, famine, abuse from the bigger, uglier alien planet next door, is said to be "the Will of the Prophets" for one reason or another. These folks want to live good lives, have a sense of spirituality, and just 'be' in the universe. Much like a lot of people in/out of the whole Watchtower environment. But no matter what they do, they're unsure of what the almighty Prophets want. Because everything is so vague. SOUND FAMILIAR? The Society (though I hear they don't call themselves that anymore) uses the same old vague and muddied issues to keep people from reaching out to each other. They are supposed to show such love, even 'loving their enemies' and yet, what do they do? They insult, belittle, and ridicule the principles and beliefs that people of other Christian and Non Christian religions alike hold most dear. The holidays are but one example. If Christmas makes people stop and think about Jesus, is that so bad? If it doesn't, but makes them show kindness that they ordinarily wouldn't in their busy day to day lives to someone else, is THAT so bad? If it causes them to reach into themselves and realize how lucky they are and give something to someone less fortunate, is that so bad? I don't believe it is. To me, this time of year is just a great big reminder of how lucky I am. For my warm bed. The food in the fridge. The love of my husband and child, and in laws. The fact that I'm alive. And that is definitely not bad. I have a lot of things to be grateful for. Gratitude! I knew I'd brought up the Bajorans for another reason. The Bajorans have a great celebration every year known as the Gratitude Festival. This excerpt is taken from the Star Trek Encyclopedia (forgive me, Viacom/Paramount) and explains pretty much how I'd like to celebrate. This is a holiday philosophy I can really get behind: "Bajoran Gratitude Festival: Annual Bajoran celebration, the biggest holiday of the year. During the holiday, participants wrote down their problems on Renewal Scrolls then placed them to be burned in a special brazier so that their troubles could symbolically turn to ashes. "Peldor Joi" is a Bajoran phrase used in celebration of the festival." Gratitude. Problems symbolically turning to dust. Thinking about something bigger than ourselves, even if only for a little while. That's what I'm going to be celebrating this year. Peldor Joi, everyone. ~Esmeralda | |||||
Edited by - Primadonna on 18 December 2002 17:27:41
Edited by - Primadonna on 19 December 2002 22:28:20
cassiline, i've been trying desperately to get in touch with you.
your e mail gets returned to me.
i just found out you've been ill again and i am worried sick about you!.
Cassiline, I've been trying desperately to get in touch with you. Your e mail gets returned to me. I just found out you've been ill again and I am worried sick about you!
There has to be a computer glitch responsible for the situation at hand with Yahoo! I left you a phone message, please call me! I'll be unavailable after today for a week, so I hope to talk to you before tonight.
love you MUCH!!!
Essie
p.s. my apologies to Si and all for posting this here, it was a last resort of desperation to put it here.
another poster and i are worried sick about esmerelda.
neither of us have heard from her for months.
she has ms, and had been doing well, but that can change quickly.
Ooooo, I know! I know where Esmerelda is! :) At least...I think I do...where am I? :)
But seriously, I am very sorry to have worried you all. (Sweet Mulan and 'other' poster, love you guys, er, girls!) Life has been...um, an adventure (to put a positive spin on it) for me the past year...wrestling the ms(which is progressing) dealing with my still totally insane JW family (or not dealing with them, in the cases of the majority who still shun me thinking I'm going to get reinstated 'any day now'. They better not hold their breath!)
I think of so many of you so often, and I had thought about stopping in to say hello. I've just been trying to use what little energy I have these days for things very removed from the whole JW realm...charity work, mostly. Raising my daughter. Life is rushing by and the days blur, and I've lost touch with many of you that I hadn't intended to. I apologize for that.
So to sum up, (I'm not quite as long-winded as i used to be...not...quite lol) as Kismet (the little birdie who brought this thread to my attention, thanks Kis! love ya!) said no need to send a swat team looking for me though I am truly touched that after all this time you folks remember me well enough to worry! It means a lot to me.
Life is a challenge, but it's a lot better now than it has been in the past. I hope this is true for all of you as well. It is what you make it, and I'm trying to make it as happy as I can.
love to all
Essie
(feels weird typing that, I had 'retired' the old girl and didn't think I'd use that name again...)
p.s. Crownboy, do I know you under another nickname? I just love hearing from folks who decided to come out of lurk mode, I think that's a very necessary step in healing. I don't remember getting any e mail from anyone from the forum for ages...you can feel free to write again. My old address is still there [email protected] I just don't get into the account very much at all anymore. I'll have to peek in every now and again.
i just spoke on the phone to amazing (jim whitney) who is in intensive care in a chicago hospital.
on monday he had a major heart attack, had a stint put in an artery to unblock things and may have bypass surgery.
he's comfortable enough right now, but of course will have to make some big lifestyle changes.
((((((((((Amazing))))))))))))
Hubby and I are sending all our love and best wishes that you will soon be on the mend at home!
*big hugs*
Esmeralda
Thank you Alan for posting the info.
below is the page, if you feel so inclined, to email dateline nbc and thank them for airing the public scrutiny.
i suspect dateline needs encouragment, other than sponsorship revenue, just like anyone else and it may serve to be beneficial in the future.
watch for 'jane and stone' half way down the page, and look for talk back.
the e mail I sent:
Dear Dateline NBC Producers,
I am writing to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the story that you aired last night, May 28th 2002 about Jehovah's Witnesses protecting pedophiles.
I was born into the religion and left at the age of 25, and five years later am still shunned by my witness relatives. While I was fortunate to have escaped molestation myself while a child in the organization, both of my sisters and MOST of my friends were not as lucky. My ex husband still takes our small daughter to meetings and I have told him time and again that you cannot trust our child with someone just because they occupy a seat at the Kingdom Hall. Most JW parents are dangerously trusting and naive.
These cases were swept under the rug in an attempt to prevent embarrassment for the Watchtower Society, but thanks to Bill Bowen and the bravery of his silentlambs, they cannot escape "The Truth" any longer.
Please do a follow up show to let the viewing public know the outcome of the judicial committee appeals of the people involved in your story. It will shock the world to know that in the 21st century people are still practicing such a twisted thing as to shun a rape victim and embrace the rapist. To those of us who grew up with this, though, it is all too familiar a story. Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving these victims a voice on national television!
With sincere gratitude,
(my name inserted here)
___________________________________________________________
Keep on roaring, lambs! People are listening! Bill, you are very very loved. We know it's with no small sacrifice that you've done what you've done. We are so grateful.
~Essie
sock it to 'em, bill!
praise the lord, the truth's coming out!
Erica, Bill, Barbara, Pandelo family...we're so proud of all of you. SO PROUD!!!
Thank you, Bill, so much for all you've done. We are grateful, we are SO grateful!
Hurrah! The truth is being shouted from the rooftops, and on national television during May sweeps!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(((((((((((((Bill and Sheila and family)))))))))))))))
love and grateful tears,
Esmeralda
