Oh no , me too. I cant sleep . I have been posting and reading and I cant stop, I must sleep. The Xanxax doesnt even help anymore, I get too hyped up, sometimes just plain pissed off at what the JW crap is going on. Maybe I shouldnt get all fired up before bedtime huh?
Oh well, I love it , I will just add this to my list of addictions.
LyinEyes
JoinedPosts by LyinEyes
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53
I'm addicted!!!
by Billygoat ini'm supposed to be working, but can't seem to get away from this freakin' board!!!
can anyone help me or give advice as to how they limit their time here.
i do really well when i'm out of the office meeting with clients, but when i'm at my desk i'm a lost cause.. simon, i can't get enough of your place!!!
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LyinEyes
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49
Whats the worst 'get-together' game you endured?
by Latte indear all,.
as a young teenager, we were always having get-togethers.... you know the spiritually upbuilding' kind ie.
bible quizzies, really boring stuff.
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LyinEyes
OMG, some of this is so funny it is sad!!! We always did pictionary, which was ok, but we also had to do the couples type of the newlywed game. My hubby and I lost big time! So did the other couple who were married forever like us, and also had 3 kids. My hubby and I swear that the ones who won, who by the way were so damn phoney , must have cheated. Yeah cheated, what man knows every little detail of his wife's favorite this or that? Those ex bethelites did. I think they were too in touch with their femine side. No offense intended here. But I hated those freaks to win, and then they would jump and clap and kiss if they got it right, puke!!!!!
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23
Who believes in a firey hell?
by rekless inis hell the grave.
is it dante' pit.. or is it.
hell is truth seen too late.
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LyinEyes
No, I dont think I beleive in a firey hell. But then again I am not sure I beleive anything anymore. Not even sure if I die I will go to heaven. But I do think we have enought hell here on earth while we are alive, why would God punish us more? It makes no sense. But the Bible makes less and less sense the more I read it at times. Too darn confusing and just tiring. I get tired of thinking of it all the time.
That is when a nice cool glass of Merlot comes in handy. I guess I will find out when I die, one way or the other. Or then again maybe not? -
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Who shuns you?
by Dawn inafter reading a number of posts it sounds like most of you have been shunned even by your immediate family members (parents, brothers, sisters)after you were df'd.. i am shunned by my sister-in-law - but she's it out of the entire family.
my uncle, brothers, mother, and father (an elder before he passed away) all continued to associate with me - we even go out to dinners together.. so here's my question - is my family the minority?
i thought that only non-family members had to shun you but family was ok as long as they don't discuss spiritual issues.
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LyinEyes
Well my dad is shunning me, last time he spoke to me was last july, he was trying to get me to go to the circuit assembly . He heard thru the grapevine we ( hubby and 3 kids ) stopped going to meetings. He tried so hard to get me to go, when I did not attend , I havent heard from him since. He has not asked our other immediate family members if I am dead or alive. I am not d/a or d/f yet! But the real story is he has left me to make it on my own since my mom died over 15 yrs ago. He remarried a sister who is 8 yrs older than me and has a wonderful pioneer new daughter who is only 2 yrs older than my daughter. He has had nothing to do with my children , even when hubby was an elder and son was the pride of the circuit for his excellence in public speaking. He has never even known what kind of food my kids like , their date of birth , or anything about them. And we were supposed to be in the faith together, not to mention family. He makes me sick ,and is part of the reason I never want to see him or any of the JW's like him ever again. I hope he tries to contact me now, boy that will be a day to remember, I'm gonna lay into the man like he has never seen. Bitter sounding huh? Well I am , a few years ago while i was still in good standing, I begged him to have more to do with me , that plea went ignored . We are also beginning to be shunned by many in our local area and some other family members out of state. Honestly, we are better off without the self righteous hypocrites.
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22
This is the way it should work.
by seven006 infor those of you who have been on this board for a long time and have grown tired of the little wars i think there is something that might give you a bit of comfort.
in the past few days there has been an exchange between mark (outonalimb) his wife julie, lark, myself and a few others.
it stated out with a post by mark (a fairly new poster 52 posts in all) saying a few things to larc in an obvious negative vein.
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LyinEyes
Reading this post has made me feel that there is true friendships and love beyond JW's. It helped me to see that although we are all different , we all share a common bond. That being ,once were JW's, and now are trying to find our way beyond the borg. I wondered what it would be like to talk to so called apostates, and to finally acknowlege to myself that this place is where I fit in. And it is where I want to be. Just because we are no longer a JW ,doesnt mean we stop being good people, in fact I am sure we are all better people for being out of it. I wonder if the borg knows that we have unity too? I wonder if they know that at least we can admit we make mistakes? Jesus said, love would identify a true Christian, seems to me there are alot of good people here. I am new to this room , but already I am glad to get to know all of you .Thanks to all for the support , I dont know what I would do without this site. It has been a wonderful place to heal and form new friendships.
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13
Went to church...for the first time.
by Preston intoday, i went to church!
it is the first time in my life i ever set foot inside a place of worship for service, other than that of my former kingdom hall.
today i got up around 7:30 aware of the strange familiarity that i once had of getting up early to go to the kingdom hall ever sunday.
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LyinEyes
Hi Preston, I think it is great you went to church. I have never been to one , I was raised a JW. I dont know if I will ever beleive one religion to be the only truth ever again , but I think someday I may go to church just to see what it is like. I want to go to a black church , I know alot of people who are always trying to get me to go , for the singing and the food afterwards. They are just good hearted accepting type of people, they dont care what color I am , or what I used to be(JW). They just want me to share in their happiness,and with open arms, non judgemental. Of course I will always be leary of that , but I am a big girl now, I can just leave if I dont like it. My family is catholic and they are trying to get me to go to mass on mother's day. I might just do it!!! Kinda exciting you know. I will let ya know what I decide to do. Sometimes we just need to feel accepted and not judged .
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21
Did You Ever Read ????????
by YYHWH indid you ever read any of the following completley cover to cover ?.
watchtower.
awake.
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LyinEyes
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I forgot!!! I was pregnant all the time and cant remember even being at the meetings most of the time. I was usually outside tending to unruly children. But really, I did read the Greatest Man book, which I loved, the Truth book ,United in Worship.
But not the Bible. I am doing that now, how ironic is that? No help from the watchtower magazine, and you know what , the Bible makes alot more sense to me now. I got so tired of reading the w/t and awakes and I only read what interested me. Which most of the time was not much, I dont really care about how wonderful rice is , you know.
There was so much in the Awake that just got on my nerves. But boy did the devout try and test you to see if you read every last stupid article. I just said , I havent gotten to that one yet...not a lie.
But the whole truth was I didnt plan on ever getting to it either. -
51
It hit the fan
by truthseeker1 inwell, to bring you guys up to speed, here is what happend this weekend.
i told my wife how i was feeling and why i didn't believe the wt was not god's org.
it went pretty bad.
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LyinEyes
I have been in the same position as you. I have not been to a meeting in 10 months and did not go to the memorial this year, first time to miss it my whole life. I dont know what to beleive right now, but i simple feel that JW org. sets themselves up as judges over all of man, and I may not be a bible scholar but I think that is Jesus' job.
How the end will come , where I go when I die , I just dont know. I thought of going back so many times, but I just couldnt sit there any longer ,in the hall, feeling the doubts that I have. Plus the proof is right out in the open to see, the coverups , the lies, the inaccuraces . I asked myself , can I stay in even if I know so much of it is wrong? No I could not. I knew I would never be the same, I couldnt comment on things I didnt think were right, I couldnt give talks on those things, I couldnt go in service and pretend to beleive the way they do. The JW org wants you to beleive ,no it demands you beleive 100% of what they say, even if they change it ever year or so.
I just couldnt stay in something I dont have trust in . I dont know if I will ever change my mind.There would have to be a major reform.
I dont think that will ever happen, past history shows they dont admit they were wrong, instead they blame the reader for not understanding what they meant. In the mean time , I will just put my life in Jesus hands ,let him judge me, and I dont hate all JW's some are good people. But there are many good people from other religions,
some dont even go to church, and I just dont beleive God is going to kill everyone who is not a JW. It just doesnt make sense to me.I dont want to live forever if the old man down the street who reads his Bible daily is put to death because he is not a JW. If he is judged to die, then I surely and not worthy. I just cant go along with that JW teaching. So I cant put my heart into it anymore. Actually I feel closer to God and Christ now. That in itself tells me I might be on the right track afterall. -
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Death of a girl, a memory that still hurts.
by Tammie ini don't know where to start.
around the late 80's or early 90's i can't remember exactly.
my family and i (mom and sisters) went to a congregation get together.
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LyinEyes
Hi Tammie, sorry about what happened to little Peggy. But what they did to you was very wrong. That is something JW will not allow , proper mourning of loved ones, that is why it still hurts you so much today, you didnt get to mourn like you should have. My mother was a witness for 16 yrs and was d/f for about four months when she committed suicide. Not a soul came to her funeral, not even for my sake, I was in good standing. It just goes to show you how evil they are, they miss the mark on what a true Christian is really about. After all these years since my moms death I am finally showing some emotion about it, and it is not always pleasant. I am so angry now, angry at brothers who did me the way they did you. They are in essense saying, get over it already! I hate them so much for what they are doing to so many all over the world . They will have to answer to God for what they have done and even for what they have failed to do. God bless you , and maybe you can visit Peggy's grave and just let it all out , about how you feel. I plan on going to my mothers grave on Mother's day, it will be the first time I have gone since I left the JW's . I am kinda scared but I think it will do me a world of good. Plus I will have all of my catholic family there and we can all sit around and remember the good times. It is a tradition my family does, which as a jw i never did, to go to the graves and show honor to the dead ones . They has a mass, and grave cleaning and put fresh flowers out . It is like a family reunion , with the dead loved ones gone , but not forgotten. Plus we have a big family meal,
everything about the day is to remember our loved ones. We need to be able to express our loss, our sadness, when we do that then we can have some sort of peace. -
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My son contemplates suicide.
by dmouse inmy 14 year old son, benjamin, confided in me last night that he almost tried to commit suicide this week, he felt so low.. he has been brought up as a jw by his mum all his short life and until recently totally believed all the crap.
although he has not been baptised yet he expressed the desire to pioneer and go to bethel.. then, in the past few months, he suddenly woke up and smelt what he was shovelling.. my son is an extremely gregarious, likable boy with lots of friends in the congregation.
he is always invited to the get-togethers etc.
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LyinEyes
I am just in a terribly anger mood after hearing this. I really want to choak the life out of the brother=fool who said your son was a weapon used by Satan to disrupt the harmony of the hall. Kick his ass!
How can a person do that to a child ? Your dear son, will probably have terrible nightmares and God only know what eles he must be thinking. He is so brainwashed , he will beleive he is evil ,if they continue to have their little bible study with him. A weekly special bible study to bash him down even more. Please do all the research you can on how the borg brainwashes people and look deep into what your son is saying, or doing. Depression and suicide are not always so easy to discern, sometimes when you think a person is doing great,
the bottom falls out. Like I said I know from experience. My son, who made his own choice to leave the borg about 10 months ago still has nightmares, as do I, so it is such a traumatic thing to go thru.
I beleive we didnt even realize why we were so depressed when we first left. The scare tactics are sometimes subtle , and I agree he needs deprogramming, when I first went out , I would have loved to have went to a specialized doctor in that field. Just do what you have to do to protect him, even if it means taking him far away from that horrible kingdom hall, the one that could take him away from you.
He is still young and can go on to lead a happy life. Please dont let the so called loving brothers gain more control of his beautiful mind.
That is all those bastards care about , they dont care what pain he is going thru. Please pass this message to him if you can, I dont know you Ben, but there are so many , so many, that are in your shoes right now, you have alot of people who do not think you evil. Beleive in yourself and know that for those of us who are trying to be Christ like , truly do love you. I want to go in my sons room right now and just hold him and tell him how special he is, Ben your dad loves you so much, listen to him and pray to God for peace of mind. You will be in my thoughts today and tomorrow and my prayers as well.