Who shuns you?

by Dawn 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • Dawn
    Dawn

    After reading a number of posts it sounds like most of you have been shunned even by your immediate family members (parents, brothers, sisters)after you were DF'd.

    I am shunned by my sister-in-law - but she's it out of the entire family. My Uncle, brothers, mother, and father (an elder before he passed away) all continued to associate with me - we even go out to dinners together.

    So here's my question - Is my family the minority? I thought that only non-family members had to shun you but family was ok as long as they don't discuss spiritual issues. Can I have a tally from ya'll?

  • spender
    spender

    nope...i didn't get to talk to my sister for 17 years. I think the only time that it doesn't apply to a family member is if it's your parents.

  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002

    I am currently shunned by my 28 yr old brother, his wife, and incidentally they are acting and teaching my 1 yr old nephew to shun and avoid me.

    I am not allowed any contact with him.

    My mother is an active JW, she does not shun me, but she has flat out told me I am a disappointment and not the son she raised.. simply because I am NOT a JW.

    Im sure this thread will get very long.

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  • rhett
    rhett

    Well, even though they don't exactly shun me my family isn't exactly what you would call very warm towards myself, my wife and son. What's funny though is that my sister is nicer and more friendly to my wife who was never a JW than she is to me.
    What really pisses me off more than you can imagine though is my sister's kid gets presents at Christmas and his birthday from my parents even though my parents say that's not the case because they don't celebrate those holidays but my son gets nothing from them at those times despite the fact that we openly celebrate them.

  • nativenyr23
    nativenyr23

    Man, I'm so glad you asked this question.

    You've stated the "rule" correctly; as far as i remember, and as long as they haven't changed the rules while i've been gone: Shunning is to be practiced with a fallen brother or sister, however, with family members, it's a "conscience" matter. There is no "written rule" when it pertains to family.

    Here's why I find that question interesting in how it pertains to me. When I was first disfellowshiped, my immediate family "partially" shunned me. They cut back on the phone calls, dinners and such; but continued to talk to me; that is, until i decided to leave my husband (still a witness). Then, while i was "single" and living alone, they broke communication with me because I was dating and therefore, I MUST BE COMMITTING FORNICATION. Well, then I moved in with a man....who is now my husband, and that sealed the deal. My parents didn't speak to me for FOUR YEARS...until we married. Now my mother says she didn't talk to me because I was living in sin. But now that i'm married, she can talk to me......Well, here's the clincher. MY BROTHER'S SHACKED UP WITH A CHICKIE....but has SHE SHUNNED HIM!?!?!?!? of course not. So tell me how the rule conveniently doesn't apply to him?

    In any case, I'm convinced that they use it when they see fit to use it and when it can benefit them.....Mom got a lot of publicity while shunning me....I had just given birth to twins when she cut me off...and WHAT A MARTYR she appeared to be in the congregation shunning me even though I had just had twin boys and was divorcing and had no one to help me.

  • alamb
    alamb

    My family and ex are teaching my children to shun me even though they are unbaptized minors.

    They also go above and beyond the call by not giving me forwarding addresses when they move, etc. Sure makes ME want to go back...

  • Hyghlandyr
    Hyghlandyr

    Regretably no one shuns me. Of course I am not dfed but everyone that calls my house gets an earful, for instance I inform them, as you have all heard me say before, that jehovahs witnesses are a known cult because if you take a match to their literature it will catch on fire.

    Then of course, those that call for my wife are required to show me, over the phone, a drivers lic, or some other form of ID in order to prove they know my wife. This seems to irritate them a bit, but after ten minutes on the phone, my wife complaining in the background, trying to get the phone from me the party usually finally 'shows' me the ID. Then of course there is the always entertaining, <Pick up phone saying> Hello! You have reached the Frantz Residence. To speak to Latina, press one. To speak to Joe, press two. To speak to Fernieck, press thr beeeep. Thank you. To speak to Latina in the Living room, press one, to speak to Latina in the kitchen prebeeep. Thank you. To leave a message for Latina, press one. To speak to her right now, press two. To speak to her inbeeeep. Thank you. One moment while I route your call. ... ... ... Latina has been paged, to listen to a selection of music while she comes to the phone press one...to (at this point I usually give her the phone)

    So honestly, if yall have seen my posts before, you know I really havent been abused by the witnesses. This is not to say at times they didnt do things that were irritating. But, putting my prejudices about christianity asside, I dont think those irritations are anything different then I have faced from other group, religious or otherwise.

    But still, it would be fun if they did shun me. I know the rest of yall cannot understand that. But honestly, I perceive that I am superior to nearly every human on the planet, and the Witnesses, are usually Adamites (descendants of Adam) rather than Milesians. So I just sort of look at them as poor lost little children, smile, pat them on the head for believing in the cat and the hat, chuckle and their antics, and then go poop.

  • qwerty
    qwerty

    My Mother disassociated herself, an Elder told me that I should only have limited contact with her. If there are any family get togethers planned BQ's for eg, then we can not go due to the scripture that say's in 1 Cor 5:11...."not even eating with such a person"

    The scripture does not even apply to her.....only in JW's she is prob classed as an Idolater, due joining another Church. She told me that the Church she goes to is so different (very loving) to how the Borg discribed all churches to be.

    qwerty

  • rekless
    rekless

    wrong, I am being shunned by my daughter, can't even talk to my grand daughters.

    Hell is truth seen too late. H.G.Adams

  • DakotaRed
    DakotaRed

    My step kids totally shunned me, would not even speak to me, unless they saw an opportunity to "correct" me about the dubs. The estranged wife, although not shunning me, did avoid me, mostly. However, when she got "frisky" or needed money, then she could sit down and be with me.

    Currently, they are gone, moved out a couple weeks ago and completely avoid me, except for the soon to be exwife. She will speak to me when she wants some money. No other dub has any contact with me whatsoever. Thankfully, I have two adult daughters that never became JWs and so, they are not only pleased that escaped the Watchtower, but that we can be together and enjoy each others company without dub influence trying to sneak in.

    If God's Spirit is filling a Kingdom Hall, how is it that Satan can manuever the ones within that Kingdom Hall at the same time?

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