This is the way it should work.

by seven006 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • seven006
    seven006

    For those of you who have been on this board for a long time and have grown tired of the little wars I think there is something that might give you a bit of comfort. In the past few days there has been an exchange between Mark (outonalimb) his wife Julie, Lark, myself and a few others. It stated out with a post by Mark (a fairly new poster 52 posts in all) saying a few things to Larc in an obvious negative vein. The thread was locked.

    Another thread was started by Simon to try and defuse this situation and give a warning to what might happen if threads were created to stir things up. The comments in an effort to defend started heating up and Simon for the first time had to lock a thread he himself had stated.

    After a few exchanged emails by Julie and I we both brought out points that contained feelings from each of our view points. Julie told me that Mark had made his comments on his own accord and she was not aware he had made them when he did. I believe her. She later showed Mark that his comments had caused a stir on this board and Mark was surprised how easy it was to cause hurt feelings and stir things up on this forum. Mark is a new poster and not aware of how volatile an atmosphere this board can have at times. I pointed out to Julie that this board is filled with many different people who are on many different levels of healing and attempts to simply try and figure out life beyond their JW experience. This breeds high emotion at times and considering what we have all gone though it is extremely normal when viewed in it's entire context.

    The emails between Julie and I were direct but respectful. Our individual views of this board are miles apart but the focus was directed at identifying the source of the problem and possibly seeing if it could be rectified.

    This morning I received an email from Julie that directed me to a new thread started by Mark titled "Mea Culpa". In that thread Mark shows a lot of class by offering an apologia to Larc in an effort to clear the air. His personal opinion of Larc may not have completely changed but his desire to acknowledge his mistake and make amends came through loud and clear. I hope to see Larc reciprocate in kind.

    Even though this all started out as a negative situation that caused a little disturbance on this board the fact that it was recognized by Mark and an honest desire to make amends was offered that should be recognized. The little wars and threads that look like they are made to stir things up get much attention. It is my personal feeling that when a thread is started that tries to invert the wrong and an apologia is given, that thread should receive as much attention as the one that caused it. "Mea Culpa" has two posts.

    Mark, Julie, my respect for you has only changed in that has increased. Mark, you showed a lot of character here in you offering an apologia and it is greatly appreciated by myself and I'm sure others. I hope Julie passed on my apologia on to you last night. The more of this kind of thing happening can only help silence the Bethel lurkers and make them have an ounce of realization that we do not need their mind controlling organization to get along and solve problems in our lives.

    If more of us can swallow our pride and focus on the big picture in regard to this board we will all get along a lot better.
    Or differences of opinion will always remain, the one constant is our unilateral opinion of the organization that has brought us all here.

    Mark and Julie, again, thank you.

    Take care,

    Dave

    "You can always judge the character of a man by the way he treats others who can do noting for him at all."
    -author unknown

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    Dave,

    When you aren't drooling or calling Farkel "Diaper Breath" or trying to flirt with Venice, you're one pretty cool guy! Just kidding - you are a cool guy though.

    I think you're so right about this...we all have pains and baggage as we leave the borg behind. And sometimes the strength necessary to survive those situations turns into pride. But it doesn't have to.

    If more of us can swallow our pride and focus on the big picture in regard to this board we will all get along a lot better.
    Awesome. Personally I didn't comment on "Mea Culpa" because although a public apology, I felt it was Larc's responsibility to respond...not mine. I'm glad to see the two men work things out. Although I have major differences with many people on the board (and on Kent's board), those same people I'm proud to call my friends. We have worked hard to overcome our differences and just appreciate each other as humans. I know we're happier for it!

    Love to you,
    Andi

  • Simon
    Simon

    If only there were more reasonable people like Dave in the world, there wouldn't be half the problems there are.

    As always, you hit the mark and make some excellent points without offending anyone.

    *** respect *** (in best Ali-G voice)

  • Dogpatch
    Dogpatch

    Good post Dave. I've faced that a few times myself in the past. It's easy to forget we are real vulnerable persons in an online situation.
    Randy

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    Good post Dave: I concur with what Randy, Simon and Billygoat say. You noted,

    "Even though this all started out as a negative situation that caused a little disturbance on this board the fact that it was recognized by Mark and an honest desire to make amends was offered that should be recognized."

    That is great that Mark took this step to make amneds. I wish others who have left this board had responded as well when attempts to make amends with them was held out in various apology posts. Maybe they will someday.

    What is key here is not only Mark's willingness to make amends, but our response to him. I think too what helps is for us all to practice better debate methods that deal with the issue and avoid attacking the person. Thanks again Dave.

  • MrMoe
    MrMoe

    Dave - Excellent post. As always, of course.

    I think you need a motto...

    Dave - AKA - Seven006 - Peacemaker, troubleshooter, ladies man. Any questions?


    Kisses,
    Moe

  • Mindchild
    Mindchild

    Hi Dave,

    I just wanted to thank you for your efforts (also you as well Simon) for making this board a more peaceful place. We will likely never see the end to people having different opinions and paradigms (nor would we want to) and there will always be some personality clashes between some individuals. At least though, with just a little effort, it is possible to be civil as some posters have shown but the really cool thing is that by our actions on this board and others, we have the opportunity to point out yet another lie from the Watchtower Society.

    *** w94 7/1 11-13 At Which Table Are You Feeding? ***
    Beware of the Poisonous Food on the Table of Demons

    "Jesus said: "By their fruits you will recognize them." (Matthew 7:16) What, now, are the fruits of the apostates and their publications? Four things mark their propaganda. (1) Cleverness. Ephesians 4:14 says that they are "cunning in contriving error." (2) Prideful intelligence. (3) Lack of love. (4) Dishonesty in various forms. These are the very ingredients of the food that is on the table of demons, all of which is designed to undermine the faith of Jehovah's people."
    The point I wanted to make is that you can find love here. Sometimes it might be a little hard to find in the course of arguements but when you go to the apostofests and meet the people on this board, you certainly see the WTS is all washed up.

    Now, if we can only get Dave and Farkel to stop making such damn clever posts, then we would be even more cool! hahaha (keep it up guys)

    Skipper

  • Angharad
    Angharad

    Good post Dave

  • seven006
    seven006

    Andi,

    You are right, I did not intend my comments to try and have anyone not involved in the issue feel they needed to apologize to Mark. I just wanted his apologia to Larc to be recognized and appreciated. Larc can do as his heart and character dictates to him. He's a big boy.

    You are always such a sweetheart, big hug back at'ca woman.

    Simon,

    Your demeanor and your undying understanding when it comes to this board has always impressed the hell out of me. A few may not always see that, but for some reason I think a few people expect you to be perfect. It still amazes me to see you continue to try and find balance in dealing with this board and the extremely emotional climate that naturally contains.

    I have the highest respect for both you and your wife and I cannot express my appreciation for your work or this board enough.

    Randy,

    The same goes for you pal, I'm still working on your redesign and when its done you will owe me a cookie.

    Take care all,

    Dave

  • Xena
    Xena

    Your a good man Dave....even if you do think I am dysfunctional

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