I liked Austin Powers, but Get Smart was a little before my time ... so I enjoyed making this with Dr Evil.
kenpodragon
JoinedPosts by kenpodragon
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11
The demon plant
by kenpodragon inwhen i was a witness we had a very paroniod congregation.
(true story) in one case we had a bad moment in the congregation and people said we were having demon problems.
thus they figured something was wrong.
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kenpodragon
When I was a Witness we had a very paroniod congregation. (True Story) In one case we had a bad moment in the congregation and people said we were having demon problems. Thus they figured something was wrong. One of the older sisters claimed she got a bad feeling when she went near a plant in the hall, so the elders decided the plant might be drawing demons in. They got rid of it and soon people were saying things seemed better. It took awhile, but I finally found a picture of this plant and if you look at it ... you can see the demons.
Smurfs are controling the world
Dragon
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The sound of one Dub clapping
by OUTLAW inas i was growing up,i noticed the dubs at assemblys would clap at the slightest provocation.it looked like a beach full of seals.as soon as a few started,the rest would join in.for some it looked like they just woke up and figured they should start clapping so no one would know they fell asleep.most just looked like seals clapping for a fish.kids notice funny things.did any of you notice dub mass behaviour you found funny...outlaw .
edited by - outlaw on 20 july 2002 2:51:40edited by - outlaw on 20 july 2002 2:59:1.
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kenpodragon
I only clapped if I was friends with the speaker and thought he did a good job. Otherwise I just kept my hands busy doing something productive like drawing pictures to keep time going by faster.
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Witness Emmy Nomintation
by kenpodragon inthe witness emmy nominations were announced today ... .
for best acting in a drama series.
elder smith ... for his job in acting kind to the congregation and then going home to mentally torture his family .
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kenpodragon
The Witness Emmy nominations were announced today ...
For best acting in a drama series
Elder Smith ... for his job in acting kind to the congregation and then going home to mentally torture his family
Sister Jones ... for her attempt to look shocked when the elders announced the DF'ing of Sister Adams, when she had been kept in the loop the whole time by her elder husband.
For best acting in a comedy series
The Pierce Family ... for saying that raising their children without a television kept them out of trouble. Their children Bob and Tammy will be watching the show from Prison, which is where they reside now after they were found guilty of selling crack cocaine.
The Campbell Family ... for showing the world that you really could find humor in clothing, as we watched their 10 year old son wear the suit they bought him when he was 6.
Best special affects
The Jones Home ... where they had the ability to hide all their X rated movies by simple placing them behind their Witness books.
The Carr Home ... where they learned away to hide the bruises on their daughter, and still get dad appointed as a elder
The winners will be announced in court, I mean in a assembly at the next District Convention. Be sure to dress for the occasion, with boring ties, long dresses, and by no means should there be a lot of skin showing. Prayer will be handed by Brother Alias, who as you all know won for Best Acting in a Mini-Series last year for his cover-up of sleeping with his girlfriend and still being allowed to get married in the Kingdom Hall. The host will be Brother Kritter, who has always humored us over the years with his lack of science knowledge in his Sunday talks and his inability to speak the English language well.
So come one and come all, or we will disfellowship you. To the Witness Emmy's ... coming soon to a meeting near you.
Just having fun
Dragon
Edited by - kenpodragon on 19 July 2002 0:56:48
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Can owning/reading apostate material get me DF'ed?
by PandaJ inhello, first time poster, long time reader.. i was wondering just what my title asks.
if i own/read/admit to apostate material, can that get me df'ed?.
i know better then to admit that i believe the apostate material to the elders, or that i disagree with the society's teachings, but will simply admitting to owning and reading them get me df'ed?.
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kenpodragon
Sorry to tell you, but if the elders find out ... your out of there!!!!!!!!
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Marked for death
by kenpodragon inwhen i think of the issue of disfellowshipping, i am often reminded of the nazi death camps.
often in the early days of nazi recruitment, the nazi's would encourage the new young members to report what was going on at home.
those with the best information, were rewarded with the most responsibility and authority.
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kenpodragon
When I think of the issue of disfellowshipping, I am often reminded of the Nazi death camps. Often in the early days of Nazi recruitment, the Nazi's would encourage the new young members to report what was going on at home. Those with the best information, were rewarded with the most responsibility and authority. The thing is, when they mentioned that dad was at home saying things against Hitler they did not realize that would lead to dad being pulled into the street and beaten, inprisoned and perhaps killed. As time went on, the rewards for information got larger and the information's still flowed.
In the congregation I served as a elder and in doing so I was involved in "Sheparding Calls." Most know what these were and no doubt had a few in their time in the congregation. Does anyone recall the final thought to almost 100% of all sheparding calls? Well it often became a question along the lines of, "Is there anything else you would like to talk about, anything you think the elders should be aware of?" To which, I witnessed many people gossiping and telling on family members. Often it was saying things about their friends, children, siblings and even their parents. All in all, they reported knowing full well that they would be getting these people into trouble. How much trouble?
Well they did not kill them with a gun in the street, but isn't the act of disfellowshipping basically saying they are losing the ability to survive Armageddon. Thus they are killing their future, as defined by their beliefs. So here we have all these Witnesses Nazi's running around reporting on all of their friends and all of their family. Those who have done the most and brought the most to congregation justice, become well known to the elders. Soon they are Ministerial Servants and Elders. Rewards for Justice, or is it paying off the witnesses.
You decide, but are you glad not to be seeing those Witness arm bands. Well maybe they did not wear them literally, but you knew that everyone was willing to report you for anything. Over the years I was reported for ...
- Seeing a R rated movie (Which I attended with others who no one noticed)
- Smoking, when I was not even in town at the time the thing happened (Must have been another tall blond guy)
- Drinking to much (I had two glasses of wine with dinner at a get together)
- Addictions (I had a Mocha every morning and a older sister thought I was having a caffeine addiction)
- Renting X rated movies (I ran the store, so I guess I was renting them)
All of these were reported on me by people I trusted. In 100% of the cases I was innocent, but I had to take the hours needed to prove it to them. Then I had to see these people later and act like nothing was wrong. How could anything be wrong, you only tried to kill me.
Nice to be out
Dragon
Edited by - kenpodragon on 18 July 2002 23:20:30
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The Meaning of Names....?
by SpiceItUp inthere are some that are obvious and then others that just baffle me to no end..... yes i am talking about your user names.... do any of you have stories behind them or are they significant for some reason or are they just a word you made up?.
mine...well its easy.... i got the nickname of spicy back in nov of last year when i dyed my hair this crazy red color and the name of the color was "spiced ginger".
the rest of it is because i love to make things more interesting---- sorta of like adding a bit of spice to the stew (hopefully i come across as that as well .
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kenpodragon
Kenpo = The Martial Arts style I have a black belt in
Dragon = I just love dragons (They are a huge part of martial arts too)
Take Care
Dragon
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I am annointed ... bow down to me!
by kenpodragon ini am now anointed.
the lady of the lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft my anointment in the form of a sword from the bosom of the water signifying by divine providence that i, dragon, was now anointed.
no i did not do it by exploiting the workers!
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kenpodragon
LittleToe
I am feeling better, I am not dead yet ... I think I will go out for a walk.
Dragon
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DONT RIDICULE ANOINTED ONES!!
by 11thHour ini am so sorry that you all have to tease and ridicule, when it is in our hearts to serve like christ did, but jesus, was ridiculed, he was young, i know a young anointed sister who gave this interesting illustration, jesus was a common name back then, and he was from an unpopular town, nazareth,, so how would you all feel if he came today and was called carlos from pueblo?, .
many people thought he was crazy, and he was ridiculed and hated, .
matthew 19:30 states, "but many that are first will be last and the last first.
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kenpodragon
I am anointed too ... like I said in a earlier post, the lady of the lake cast me a saber and pronounced me anointed! I was then made King of the anointed! I now have knowledge of all sorts of things ... for example, I know the air speed of a unladen swallow. I know the capital of Estonia. All those things you must know to be anointed. I also know my quest and my favorite color .... No wait Blue AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dragon