Is my computer's spell check trying to tell me something? EVERY time I type in JW spell check tells me to change it to JEW. Anyone else getting that message? It's spooky. Never mind, It's Ok now, I just typed in JEWS and the computer told me to change it to JW.
There are two groups of people who regularly knock on my door. JWs and Mormons. It's easy to tell them apart. The Witnesses look like they just stepped off the set of 'The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet' (that was a family TV show back in the 1950's, if the only Ozzy you know is the one that bit the head off of a bat on stage then I'll try to keep my references more current but if I can keep up with the times at age 67 what's your excuse).
The Mormons, in their black pants and crisp white shirts rolling up and down our street on their black bikes look a little bit like members of the Hitler youth (the Hitler Youth was a ...............screw it).
The other difference is that Witnesses work their territory in the morning and the Mormons prefer the afternoon. I forget, is it part of the Mormon religion to sleep in?
One day both groups met up on my front walkway. The JWs were leaving and the Mormons were arriving. I heard one of the JWs say, "We don’t move for false witnesses."
A Mormon said, "We do," and went around them.
I don't think the door to door work is going well these days. I invited a young Witness in just for a chat, after we sat down I said "What is it you want to tell me?" He looked at me, and said, "I don't know, I never made it this far".
Unfortunately I am too polite and mannerly to speak my mind but internally I am a grumpy old man. It makes me frustrated so the following is stuff I wish I had said and some things I did.
"I look interested? You see this is what you don't understand, you think I give a crap about what your saying, I don't. While you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of a crap? That's why I look so interested."
"Life Everlasting? No. Humans will die out. We're weak. Dinosaurs survived on rotten flesh. I got diarrhea last week from a Wendy's."
" No, I don't want to go to your Memorial. Your Memorial is just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants."
(To A Mormon) "You're like a tornado of bullcrap right now. We'll talk again after your bullcrap dies out over someone else's house."
"I drove by the Kingdom Hall when it was letting out and everyone looked like they wanted to shove a shotgun in their mouth."
A question I asked a Witness, "What year did Jesus think it was?"
Another answer, "The only thing that interferes with my becoming a JW again is my education."
"The WTBTS drove me to drink, and I never even had the courtesy to thank them."
Some advice to a younger witness, "Being a faithful JW is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
Special thanks for the stuff I found on the internet and misused.