Dear Kosonen,
Thank you for contacting the WTB&TS service desk. Rest assured that we did indeed receive your correspondence. Even though we can’t take anything you say seriously, and we all laughed over your naive view that we actually care, your letter was definitely appreciated. You see, due to COVID-19, we’ve had a horrible TP shortage, and your letter served to alleviate that shortage ever so slightly.
Sincerely,
Your brothers.