lostinnj83

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Posts by lostinnj83

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  22

  No Natural Affection...

  by lostinnj83 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my latest encounter with my mom has me furious and i needed a place to vent:.

  i don't post alot but for anyone who has read any of my posts knows that while i have been struggling for some time, i am still an active jw working towards leaving.. anyway, i got into a car accident yesterday.

  fortunately i am well enough to type this up so for that i am greatful.

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  lostinnj83

  My latest encounter with my mom has me furious and I needed a place to vent:

  I don't post alot but for anyone who has read any of my posts knows that while I have been struggling for some time, I am still an active JW working towards leaving.

  Anyway, I got into a car accident yesterday. Fortunately I am well enough to type this up so for that I am greatful. The extent of my injuries seem to be some severe whiplash but even though it was a relatively minor accident, its still a traumatizing event at least it was for me.

  My first conversation with my mom she told me that hopefully I can use the couple days off that I have to build myself up spiritually. I asked her if she was planning to come to visit me?

  Her response was well when would we come visit? she said today is out of the question, you know we have the meeting tonight and your dad has to conduct the school and we know how you feel about us so we try to respect your privacy. I haven't expressed ANY negative feeling towards them but she was projecting that onto me.

  I am very upset that she has put a spin on this whole situation, she isn't coming to see me because she has meeting tonight and won't miss it, thats the bottom line. She said maybe we can come down tomorrow but you usually have alot going on, and that perhaps I thought they were going to miss the meeting to come to see me but they won't be doing that.

  As angry as I was, I said ok.

  She then goes on to say you will probably misinterpret that but you haven't allowed us to be their for you.

  Well excuse me if my car accidence conflicts with your meeting schedule! I'll try to plan around that next time!!

  They have no way of justifying their behavior so they have to spin it around and some how make it seem like you are the one with the problem.

  This response was from someone who spent 7 hours over at a bible study's home because she was having some difficulty. It really blows my mind!

  This is the type of treatment that I am receiving while I'm still physically in???

  How do they justify the lost of natural affection? I really am at loss on this one, this seems low even for JW's.
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  39

  Help!! Don't know where to start

  by ILoveTTATT in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok so to start... i am still an active jw... but only because i cannot get out yet... i am slowly planning to get out.... i should really read hassan's cult control book... it seems like i am getting everything wrong in trying to help the people i know to know ttatt.. so i will need your help, all of you dear people.. my current, actual beliefs are pretty much agnostic... no belief in any particular dogma, but i believe there is a higher power out there.... there are so many things on my mind... for example,.

  1. the fact that no nt manuscript contains the name "jehovah".

  2. the blood doctrine.

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  lostinnj83

  Quite honestly no matter what you say and how convincing you are people who are trapped in won't see it. My husband told me that even if I had facts about the organization that he didn't want to hear anything other than what was printed. I spoke to him on blood and the UN and while he knew nothing about the UN affiliation, he still took the WT's side 100%.

  I said if you are willing to DIE for a religion wouldn't you want to know the full story and have the facts? He said no, and that he knows enough of what he needs to know.

  So don't give up but don't expect your relatives to see where you are coming from. Its unfortunate but they are heavily controlled. I know how frustrated you must feel.
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  22

  Telling my wife that I would accept a blood transfusion

  by Daniel1555 in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  this is my first post here.. first a few details about myself.

  i am 33, married, from switzerland and i have a little baby boy.

  i am still a jehovah's witness and i am still attending the meetings.

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  lostinnj83

  I actually have a different opinion than the majority. I say tell her, she already knows you have doubts and while that situation isn't ideal better that she know that in advance. I actually saw the possibility of someone dying last week due to refusal of a blood transfusion because of a complication with child birth. Seeing it hit so close to home really affected me. I realized that while even though I am technically still in you never know what can happen while you are deciding but I know for certain that I would never be able to honor my husbands wishes and that in an emergency situation I would accept a blood transfusion for myself or on behalf of any children we may have.

  I feel like its an important conversation to have but perhaps I am more sensitive to it since I have seen it first hand.
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  94

  Who I really am, my story on YOUTUBE!

  by Gojira_101 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the death of a jw and the birth of me the apostate.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2lwgowdpj8.

  a huge thanks to my friend ray publisher (jwstruggle) for posting my video for me.

  now that i am no longer held prisoner from the fear of watchtower, i can now help others!.

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  lostinnj83

  Hello- I watched your video last week! I was so inspired. I have known TTAT for year now but have still "stayed in" for the sake of family. You are lucky that you have the support of your family and your husband. I don't have that same support. Even still though eventually I have to take a stand..I too have spent 30 years of my life involved and the longer i stay in, although mentally gone, the more my life is passing me by.

  Thank you for your video.
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  63

  I am a Human Apostate, and so are YOU (YOUTUBE)

  by Watchtower-Free in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dbfc4rclay&nr=1&feature=endscreen.

  her blog.

  http://jehovahs-witness-cult-control.blogspot.com/.

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  lostinnj83

  I have had many conversations with her and she is absolutely wonderful Video was excellent !
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  7

  About Shunning

  by lostinnj83 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i wonder how jw's who shun their family members explain such behavior to "outsiders" like coworkers.

  i mean its natural that co workers get to know each other and about their families etc...so when they topic comes oh how's your daughter or son?

  how do they explain that?

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  lostinnj83

  I wonder how JW's who shun their family members explain such behavior to "outsiders" like coworkers. I mean its natural that co workers get to know each other and about their families etc...so when they topic comes oh how's your daughter or son? How do they explain that? Do they lie and act like everything is normal or what?

  Just curious because I can only imagine how rediculous and creul it would sound to anyone hearing the "truth" which is that they shun their children simply for not believing the same things that they do.
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  16

  Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 05-19-2013 WT Study (KNOW GOD)

  by blondie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  continue to grow spiritually?.

  continue growing spiritually.

  we still need to grow in faith.

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  lostinnj83

  My thoughts were that if baptism was so serious, then why allow MINORS to get baptized, there's no way a minor could have comprehended all that was involved or even be able to understand all of the points on that "checklist".
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  40

  Going to the meeting tonight ARGH!!!! So wanna end this pain NOW!

  by Julia Orwell in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm only going to the meeting because of my husband!

  i was 'in' solo for years while living with my unbelieving family and i know how it feels to be the only one in your house going to the meeting.

  i also respect my husband's decision, and know what it's like to have family try to tear down your beliefs.

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  lostinnj83

  Julia: I can relate. I am in the same situation as you. I must say that going to meetings are becoming more and more unbearable. I feel sick to my stomach when I go. It's very difficult for me to block out what's being said. I wonder if my facial expressions are becoming more apparent!
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  42

  Todays Watchtower Study ---------------------- Give Me A Break

  by BlindersOff1 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  this is so a made up example .

  written as ifs it was real .

  whats your opinion ?.

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  lostinnj83

  It's articles like that that make me see F** fading, I just want to flat out DA!!!!!
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  44

  What song would you dedicate to the borg?

  by krejames in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  zed's thread on powerful albums got me listening to darren hayes after ages and i decided i would like to dedicate this song to the borg.

  http://youtu.be/nwvtdt9mntw.

  step into the light.

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  lostinnj83

  Linkin Park

  Runaway

  Linkin Park: Runaway I wanna run away
  Never say goodbye
  I wanna know the truth
  Instead of wondering why
  I wanna know the answers
  No more lies
  I wanna shut the door
  And open up my mind

  Linkin Park

  Pushing Me Away!

  "Pushing Me Away"

  I've lied to you
  The same way that I always do
  This is the last smile
  That I'll fake for the sake of being with you
  
  (Everything falls apart
  Even the people who never frown
  Eventually break down)
  The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
  (Everything has to end
  You'll soon find we're out of time left
  To watch it all unwind)
  The sacrifice is never knowing
  
  Why I never walked away
  Why I played myself this way
  Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
  Why I never walked away
  Why I played myself this way
  Now I see your testing me pushes me away
  
  I've tried like you
  To do everything you wanted too
  This is the last time
  I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you
  
  (Everything falls apart
  Even the people who never frown
  Eventually break down)
  The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
  (Everything has to end
  You'll soon find we're out of time left
  To watch it all unwind)
  The sacrifice is never knowing
  
  Why I never walked away
  Why I played myself this way
  Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
  Why I never walked away
  Why I played myself this way
  Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
  (We're all out of time
  This is how we find how it all unwinds)
  The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
  (We're all out of time
  This is how we find how it all unwinds)
  The sacrifice is never knowing
  Why I never walked away
  Why I played myself this way
  Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
  Why I never walked away
  Why I played myself this way
  Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
  Pushes me away