This is my first post here.
First a few details about myself. I am 33, married, from Switzerland and I have a little baby boy. I am still a Jehovah's witness and I am still attending the meetings. 2 years ago I stepped back as an elder (elder for 2 years). Already a long time I harboured doubts about different topics (disfellowshipping and shunning, birthday, global flood, Old testament wars and genocides and some more). I couldn't bear it longer, to be an elder. So I told other elders about my doubts and that I would like to step back.
They accepted my resignation. I also told my wife about my doubts. Over the years, my doubts became certainties and I found out more about my religion that I can no longer call it "the truth." Nevertheless, I don't like to disassociate myself, as that would create a lot of problems for my wife and my little son.
Is there someone who is disfellowshipped or disassociated and wife and children still active Jehovah's witnesses? How do you react, if your wife or your children would like to be together with witness friends or invite witness friends?
My wife is a very zealous sister and she obeys to anything that the faithful and discreet slave is saying. First she was sad about my thoughts but accepted, that I have different views. But suddenly, she was becoming very cold and distant towards me. The reason was, she says, because of my doubts. That made me very sad to the point of a depression.
With a lot of time, our relationship started becoming a little better, and she seems to accept, that I have different views.
Last year during the operation of my wife (childbirth of my son), I asked myself how I would react, if something goes wrong and I'd have to decide about a blood transfusion for my her (I think she would without problem refuse a transfusion even if it meant death). My conscience told me, that I couldn't bear it, to be guilty for her death and that my son would grow up without a mother. Of course I never told her about that.
I studied now in detail about the blood issue. For me it is clear, that I would accept in a life-threatening situation a blood transfusion (especially also for our little boy). I know now all the reasons, why the bible does not speak against a blood transfusion. I know about all the changes in the Watchtowers blood policy (also about transplants and vaccinations).
Now I have 2 possibilities:
1. To tell my wife about my conscience decision, that I would allow a blood transfusion in a medical urgency (for myself and for my baby and even for her). I already wrote a letter to her about all the reasons why I think like that.
The effect might be, that she is shocked and wouldn't let me decide if she is unconscious. Maybe she will run to the elders with the effect that I am disfellowshipped. Or she might herself start to think about the reasons. I have no idea how she would react.
2. I do not tell her anything. If there would be a medical urgency in the future, she would find out about my true thoughts at that time.
Positive would be, that if she is unconscious I could still "give in" and not let her die. But I hate it not to be honest to her. Moreover I would have to go through life with this "No blood" patient paper.
My question now: What would you do in this situation?