Jan Kosonen did you honestly think sending a letter like that to the JWS HQ is even going to read by one of the GB members ?
The GB are going to tow the party doctrinal line or they too might get labeled an apostate and DFed just like you and when they do they lose their food and shelter, their medical and dental care, their cars and insurance, their air travel around the world .
They could possibly get booted out penniless with nothing, not to mention the loss of the friendship and socialization they have built as being in the organization.
Wake up and smell the coffee
Really seek some help from your local mental health providers, you sound like you really need to.