Today I decided to write my mom and sister, who are currently occupied with shunning me, a letter of good-bye. Seems to me that this should bring me somewhat of a closure to this whole JW business. I probably won't send this out until next week. I like to think on this sort of letter for a while before mailing it. Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated. mumsy
August 17, 2007
Mom and ****:
I think the time has come for me to say good-bye. I need some sort of closure on this whole “shunning” business and I feel this is the time. I realize that neither you nor **** will ever be able to overcome the mind-control you have been under for so many decades. Abe Lincoln said: “Those who deny freedom to others should not have freedom for themselves”. Most applicable in our case isn’t it?
I believe so much in freedom of choice. We are answerable only to a higher power, not to a religion, an organization, a cult or family and friends. The only approval of my life I need is that higher power. I believe I have it, for my life is lived in honesty and integrity and a love for people that I never knew as a Jehovah’s Witness. I think of it this way. Hitler wanted to exterminate a whole group of people that he felt were not “human” or worthy of living on this earth. He slaughtered millions of people. Jehovah’s Witnesses believe they have the “truth” and they are the chosen ones who will inhabit a paradise earth. They themselves will not slaughter millions of innocent people; yet they believe that Jehovah will destroy those people for them. I don’t see any difference between what Hitler wanted to do (and did) and what you as Jehovah’s Witnesses are looking forward to. My heart aches when I look back and realize that this, in principle, is what I believed in. I am ashamed.
Since I am unable to have a civil conversation with either you or ****, then I think it is best that I say good-bye to you both. I need to put this unnecessary baggage behind me and get on with my life. I have let what you and **** are doing to me and my family affect me for too long. No one person or group of people should have that sort of power.
I am sad that I will never get to look at the many pictures from our childhood that are so precious to me. I am sad that I will never be able to visit my dad’s grave or have some of his ashes in remembrance of him. Dad would have been horrified to see what has happened to our family. I miss him so much. Even more so now because he, though not “in the truth”, would have never abandoned me because of religious intolerance.
I am sad that I cannot tell people that I have a loving mother or a loving sister. I am sad that you and **** will never know my grandchildren or my wonderful daughter-in-laws. I am sad that I have to write this final letter to you both. I am sad that there were times in the past few years that I actually thought of killing myself because of your actions. How foolish to be made to feel like you are not worthy of a mother or sisters love. Fortunately, I am now surrounded by a real family and friends who love me and hold me close in their hearts. I shall never abandon my children for ANY reason.
I really do wish you both well. You are doing what you have been taught and believe in. If I was to deny you that freedom, then I myself should not have my freedom either.
p.s. To clarify the "I won't be able to visit my dad's grave"...this is because his ashes are actually buried on my sisters farm, in her backyard under a tree my dad always admired. So I have no access to this unless I sneak in and do a "grave robbery" and I don't want to sink that low.