Posts by ladylove

14

will i ever be able to move on (my daughter was abused)

by looloo in

i feel real down at the moment at the injustice of it all , i know the world is full of injustice but it just makes me so mad , did anyone on here move on after their child was abused and if so how did you do it ?

i feel i cant move on till she has but at the moment that seems a long way off , bulimia and flashbacks seem to rule her life , the local congregation are not allowed to discuss it with me , even fellow victims mothers , probably because im worldly .

i have wrote a strongley worded letter to the elders regarding the fact that had they reported the local min servant perv to the police years ago my child would not be like this , and that i reported him to the police to protect other peoples children so why didnt they?

ladylove

abused myself for many years, the words I hold close to my heart today came from my older brother, the only one in the world I could trust

"If only I had a magic wand, I would take your pain and throw it off a cliff." The next week he asked me to write all my anger and pain down on paper, we took the two day drive to the grand canyon where he put my hurt in a can and let me burn it, then we poured the ashes over the cliff (after they cooled of course). My brother cried and wraped his arms around me.

what happened next let me know that he shared my pain,

He took a paper out of his pocket, and read it to me. it was his own list of anger and pain. He was angry that he didn't know I was being hurt, He was angry that he couldn't protect me. He felt pain because I hurt. He took the can, burnt the paper, and through the ashes over the cliff.

to this day when I feel sad, or offended, I can see my brothers eyes and ashes floating down.

I hope you can find some relief in my story

give your angel a hug of love

34

What do you say to someone you are seeing for the last time?

by Bumble Bee in

jw
friends

i've been thinking about this alot tonite.

what do i talk about with my uncle when i see him on wednesday?

this will be the last time i see him alive.

ladylove

Death is the strangest part of life. Most the time the ones dying will lead the conversation. The most important thing they want to know is that the ones they leave behind are going to be ok. Let your Uncle lead you through his memories of you and your father. If he wants your approval of his death, there is no harm in telling him you approve, But that you will miss him.

I don't mean to sound blunt, but have I been through countless death processes.

remember the hardest part of Death.....

It takes away the oppertunity to make NEW MEMORIES

8

Material Things

by ladylove in

jw
friends

ok call me crazy, but i am still afraid of having nice things.

i want them, i dream of them.

but have no confidence to go and get them.

ladylove

ok call me crazy, but I am still afraid of having nice things. I want them, I dream of them. But have no confidence to go and get them.

I was told I couldn't go to college, so I never tried. I was to be a wife that obeyed.

anyone else in that boat?

if not how did you build the confidence to succeed?

18

can any one help

by ladylove in

jw
friends

i cant believe after 20 years of not being a jw that i found this site.. if anyone is willing to read this, and has any knowledge on the subject, i dont want to hate my father.

i am looking for biblical proof that shunning your family is ok, if it exist.

brief history .

ladylove

I really enjoyed reading all of your responces to my quest of understanding.

Rimfiredancing is spot on with the empty apologies and Manipulations.

I had tried once to get all my brothers and sister together, but my youngest brother still lives at home, with his wife. He still follows JWs around like a lost puppy. shortly before he got married he planned on moving out, This was put on halt when his mother (my stepmom) tried commiting suicide. So he lives at home, with his wife and is not allowed to assiociate without permission from our father.

leaving me with never having all my brothers, their children, or my sister together in the same place.

Thank you all for your time and unconditonal acceptance of me here!!

with love

Ladylove

35

If you had a Time Machine would you stop yourself being a Witness???

by Witness 007 in

what if you wen't back in time and stopped your mother from opening the door to the witnesses...and your family never came into the truth!!

what if you risked changing everything else in your life...not having kid's or the same marriage partner...would it be worth it.

ladylove

Wow this is a tough one, you really had my mind working for a moment...

After being under such complete contorl and Being that I was DF when I was 14 for smoking and kicked out of my house, which caused a chain reaction of needing a home, and ending up a pregnant teen by a man 32 years older than myself. Going from being controlled by religion to controlled by a pervert that had 7 previous wives and many children that I raised besides the 2 who he got me pregnant with. And considering the years Lost waiting for my siblings to be freed from the cult.

Yes I would stop myself, or my father. without the controlled life I may have never starting smoking.

with that said...

I have 2 perfect teenage children who want nothing to do with there pervert of a father.

I have 8 years of sanity

I have a loving and gentle husband, and a 5 year old daugher with him.

and 75 days smoke free

18

can any one help

by ladylove in

jw
friends

i cant believe after 20 years of not being a jw that i found this site.. if anyone is willing to read this, and has any knowledge on the subject, i dont want to hate my father.

i am looking for biblical proof that shunning your family is ok, if it exist.

brief history .

ladylove

I am so grateful to find this site. I can not thank all of you enough for taking the time and interest in my story. Thank you for welcoming me here, and sharing your thoughts.

18

can any one help

by ladylove in

jw
friends

i cant believe after 20 years of not being a jw that i found this site.. if anyone is willing to read this, and has any knowledge on the subject, i dont want to hate my father.

i am looking for biblical proof that shunning your family is ok, if it exist.

brief history .

ladylove

on the way out,

those scriptures stated were helpful but as I read them , I belive they taken out of context:

(1 Corinthians 5:11-13) 11 But now I am writing YOU to quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother (Kate has never been to a meeting)that is a fornicator or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating with such a man. 12 For what do I have to do with judging those outside? Do YOU not judge those inside, 13 while God judges those outside? “Remove the wicked [man] from among yourselves” (who added 'man' to this statement? I believe this is refering to remove your wickedness inside yourself)

I guess you have shown me what I was asking for. But truely believe it is taken out of context.

thanks

32

Why do you HATE to cook?

by GentlyFeral in

jw
friends

me, i love cooking.

hearing someone say "i hate to cook" is like hearing "i hate being literate," or "i hate being able to walk.

" i just don't get it.. but there must be reasons - enlighten me, ok?.

ladylove

I don't like to cook because I had a critic for a parent, nothing was right and everything worth beating me for.

20 years later I am still afraid of screwing dinner up.

I have a great husband who is patient. Days that we are not busy, we open a bottle of wine and cook together, then somehow all my fear goes and we have fun.

28

Woodland Hills Assembly Hall, Woodland Hills CA

by AudeSapere in

jw
friends

i have a few questions regarding this property (woodland hills assembly hall, woodland hills ca).. 1. rumor had it that bob hope built the building but there was insufficient parking to allow for 'worldly' concerts.

true or false??.

2. what happened to the building??

ladylove

I remember Woodland Hills, but have no Idea what happened to it. I was baptised at the Dodger Stadium when I was 13. do they still hold conventions their?

18

can any one help

by ladylove in

jw
friends

i cant believe after 20 years of not being a jw that i found this site.. if anyone is willing to read this, and has any knowledge on the subject, i dont want to hate my father.

i am looking for biblical proof that shunning your family is ok, if it exist.

brief history .

ladylove

I can’t believe after 20 years of not being a JW that I found this site.

if anyone is willing to read this, and has Any knowledge on the subject, I don’t want to hate my father. I am looking for biblical proof that shunning your family is ok, IF it exist. I really just want to understand.

Brief history
At 14 years old my father gave me the boot for smoking…. When I was 19 he called me to tell me I had a younger sister that wanted to meet me.
20 years have pasted and now he wants a family gathering. But he won’t allow my little sister if she brings her boyfriend of 5 years.

Dear Dad,

I am writing you because I am angry and confused. As hard as I try, your ruling doesn’t add up.

For the first 18 years of Kate’s life, Brian, Greg and I were denied the opportunity to have our sister as part of the family, matter of fact; we were denied Kate’s existence. Through these 18 years you passionately spoke to us about God and the bible, but taught hypocorism. And now the first ‘family’ gathering you so desperately want, you deny us again. The way I see it you are playing the Role of God, judge and Jury. Jesus himself went looking for sinners in order to teach, even the prostitute
I recall you actively spending time with your Father, after he molested me, why did you not judge him? Did it not fit into what you wanted?
I remember Aunt Maggie and Joe joining family gatherings (an unwed couple,)
I would sleep at their house during the Xmas vacation, where the house was prepared for xmas. Why did you not judge them?

With that said, I can understand your position of sharing the home to sleep, out of respect. But to oust her from being part of the family is just hurtful.

Kate has never been taught your beliefs and how they pertain to her. But yet you Judge her instead of love her.
If you feel the need to reject part of your blood, make it me that you reject, I am use to it.

This is His Response

Dear daughter,

As you know Kate herself is invited. It is her boyfriend that is not. Also, Kelly, grandma and others were not invited either. I have chosen those who I feel close too and I hope feel close to me.

I am cut deep to hear how you view me. I love you from the deepest part of my heart. I will always love you and I desire your love as well. I can not change the past and I can not deny things that have happened. I could not for see the future and had to make decisions with what limited experience and understanding I had. I am sorry for hurting you! And I am sorry for not protecting you from grandpa. I can only hope that some day you will forgive me.

As you know, Kate would not come anyway. So please let us not fight or don't discuss it further.

I love you Daughter, I am sorry for hurting you
Dad

I replied with

“It is her boyfriend that is not”
This is my point… what gives you the right to judge him? That would be like telling me I can’t bring one of my children on the trip...

“As you know, Kate would not come anyway”
Of course, that kind of insult I wouldn’t go either.

“I have chosen those who I feel close too”
How can you feel closer to one of your children and not the other?

“I can only hope that some day you will forgive me"
I remind myself every time I call you, that was the past. You did what you thought was right at the time. My love for you will always be. Because I disagree with you doesn’t mean I will shun you or anyone you love the only hurt I have, is that I grew up without a parent that was capable of loving me unconditionally.

“I can not change the past and I can not deny things that have happened”
No one can deny the wrongs they have done, but everyone can strive to make their wrongs Right!

I respect that fact that you hold your religion so close to you, but when you talk love and show hate, it confuses everyone involved. I have never seen biblical verses that tell you to shun your children.
Luke chapter 7- shows the teaching of a sinner who began to follow Jesus.

The way you are teaching Kate, would only push her away from what you believe. Who would want to begin a lesson that says “don’t love anyone?”

“I am sorry for not protecting you from grandpa”
I do not blame you for what Grandpa did to me. I am so past that. I ask you why you did not judge his fornication.

“So please let us not fight or don't discuss it further”
Why are you so scared to discuss this? There is nothing wrong with telling someone you are angry. I do not want to bottle my feelings anymore. I would love a rational reason, because in my heart I feel this has nothing to do with what you believe as far as your religion. I think it has more to do with
1. it would be uncomfortable for mom
2. it would be uncomfortable for you to show Kate the love she deserves

It seems like you are all over the board in you decision process, nothing adds up to what you do.
Teach love, and forgiveness, by the way you live your life. Not by the words you use

Like it or not,
your Daughter